Dear RIOT, Jarvan IV is boring.

He's missing something, I don't know what, but it's something. All the other AD tanks (bruisers) have something that make you really feel like you own the lane, he's missing it... whatever it is. When I'm playing as a bruiser, I get that evil warlord feeling that everything in my face shall be destroyed. When I'm laning against a bruiser, I get that "Do not fuck with him, do not get in his face, harass him as best possible but avoid trades at all cost" feeling. I don't get those feelings when playing as or laning against .

"MUHAHAHAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR FACE BEING WHACKED! OH! YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ME!? YOU FOOL! (TOGGLES W)! FULL HEALTH AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! OH NO YOUR JUNGLE GOT ME! BUT HE FORGET ABOUT MY PASSIVE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! DOUBLE KILL BIATCH!" As he engages with his Q for pop up, AA them down, then E to prevent their escapes with R waiting in case desperate measures are required!

"BLEED YOU FUCKING PAWN! DIE SLOWLY! YOU'RE WORTHLESS ON THE BATTLEFIELD! TRYING TO RUN ARE YOU! GET OVER HERE! (SCORPION VOICE) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CALL THAT BACKUP! THEY'RE WORTHY OF THE FRONT LINES OF BATTLE! TRIPLE FUCKING SLAM DUNK! AND THE FUCKING CROWD GOES WILD!!! ROOAAAAAAR! I AM DARIUS!" As he engages with his, gets 3 stacks, uses W when they attempt to flee, uses E to pull them back after flash, then Rs everybody that tries to save them.

"I AM THE GREAT KRAKEN BITCH! TO CHALLENGE ME IS NOT ONLY TO STAND FACE TO FACE WITH MY SEXINESS AND NOT BE DISTRACTED BY MY BEAUTY, BUT TO CHALLENGE THE SATAN OF THE DEPTHS ITSELF! MY HELL TENTACLES FROM THE DARKEST ABYSS THE GREAT OCEAN HAS TO OFFER AND I ARE INVULNERABLE! WE CANNOT BE FU... WOW! DIED BEFORE I FINISHED MY SPEECH! ARE THESE 2 (JG AND MID LANE) SUPPOSED TO AVENGE YOU!? MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MEET HELL! DOUBLE KILL BIATCH! 1 FOR ME AND 1 FOR WATER SATAN!" As she engages you with W next to a tentacle then Q, E as you fail at escaping and R when the backup arrives only to be raped by WATER SATAN!

"FEEL THE FLAMES AT YOU FEET NOOB! (as your opponent frantically panics and tries to hop out of the danger zone)! YOU WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FEET! YOU FORGOT YOUR SQUISHY HEAD! (opponent flashes away)! ROT YOU CHICKEN SHIT! HEAD SMASH! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! SNIFF SNIFF I SMELL 4 MORE PREY! SUPER SAIYAN 4 DEMON DOGGY! TASTE THE FLAMES OF HELL ERUPT BELOW YOU AS THE FIERY FLAMES OF SATAN HIMSELF SWIRL MY RIPPED DOGGY BOD AND I HEAD SMASH YOU ALL!" As he starts his engage with E, then Q, then W, then Q to kill you, then he dives the rest with R, E, then instakill Qs them 1 by 1.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" As he Olafs (yes, that's a verb) you to death with true damage E strikes, unstoppable because his R is active, preventing escapes with Q and violently attacking at the speed of light with W.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS! THIS CHUMP IS MY MEAL! BARELY EVEN A FUCKING APPETIZER! ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO RUN FROM ME! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU KNOW WHAT! I'LL LET YOU RECALL! BRING BACKUP BITCH! I REFUSE TO HUMOR YOU IN A 1V1! NO NO NO! 2 ISN'T ENOUGH! NO NO NO! I WANT THE WHOLE FUCKING TEAM! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! YOU'RE ALL TOO SLOW! YOU'RE ALL TOO WEAK! YOU'RE NO LEGENDS! I'M THE ONLY FUCKING LEGEND HERE!" As he engages with a raged W into Q, double dashing with E for ArRed, consistent damage with R.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS FOR ME TO EXIST... IT MEANS THE PRINCESS NEVER GOT SAVED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! YOU CAN FILE IN 1 BY 1 OR BE ENGULFED IN FLAMES ALL AT ONCE! THIS BATTLEFIELD IS MY HELL AND I'M GOING TO DECORATE IT WITH YOUR LOST SOULS! BECAUSE ONLY A FOOL WITHOUT GUIDANCE WOULD CHALLENGE ME! BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE MOTIVATION! THE PRINCESSES AWAIT YOU!" As she procs W, uses E then immediately Q, then R to CC and stop escapes.

Zombies don't talk, but this brute charges into 5 champions with his R, stunning them all, W, then Q re-stunning them all, w goes off, takes huge chunk out of all their health, finishes off 2 squishies with E. They kill him, SUPER SAIYAN ZOMBIE SION FINISHES THEM ALL before he passes! (also applies to 1v1 situations)

"I AM THE KING OF TROLLS! THE GOD OF TROLLS! THE TROLL OF TROLLS! THE LEGEND OF TROLLS! I AM THE FUCKING TRUNDLE OF TROLLS! EVERYWHERE I GO IS MY TERRITORY! IF I CAN SEE YOU'RE TRESPASSING... BUT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 1 DOWN! 2 DOWN! 3 DOWN! 4 DOWN! HEY!!! I SAID NO ESCAPING BITCH! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! TRUNDLE KILL ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As he initiates with W, uses R on the enemy tank, uses Q on the ADC or AD assassin, and saves E for use when necessary.

"Well 1st I'm going to crush you like a fucking bear, then maul your limp body like a fucking tiger, then engulf you in flames with the powers taught to me by Jean Grey!" Activating turtle before he rushes you with bear, then mauls you with tiger, and rapes you with the spirit of Jean Grey, then tiger mauls you one more time for good measure.

No description needed here. Volibear does in game what any bear in real life would do to 5 humans if it was hungry enough... but with lightning for bonus cool points.

"AHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE HUNGER NEVER STOPS! MUST FEED! I SMELL PREY ALL AROUND ME! I WILL CHASE THEM ALL DOWN! I WILL EAT THEM ALL! IF THE NWO WOLFPACK COMES BACK! I SHOULD BE THE FUCKING MASCOT!" Easily can trade with any harass using his Q, sticking with E, like Olaf he also attacks at the fucking speed of light with his W.

The voice over for Wukong is no different that how Wukong is always depicted. Cocky as fuck, the one who challenged the gods! The combinations for Wukong to combo successfully and pick up a laning kill to a team fight pentakill are infinite in comparison to other champs! With his clone, having the strongest AD ult in the game, armor pen, attack speed, natural tankiness (passive) all in 1 kit!!!!!

Then we get to .

- He has a knockup and a low damage ult that creates "impassable" (hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha) terrain.