Is there a certain phrase i should use?
Should I ping for assistance, or ping that I have useful abilities that would help for a successful gank? (why not gank a 
with ult up?)
Should I ask politely in chat?
Should I ask not politely in chat?
Should I ? ping you multiple times?
Just wanting to know cause nothing I've tried has seemed to get me any results...
well if you want a gank. this is how you get it. its all about wave management, and poke.
lets say your top lane.
lets say your jungler starts bot side jungle.
in this scenario. 1st your probably not gunna wanna start off super agro on the enemy minion wave. but instead. keep it frozen mid river using wave management (only last hitting minions). if your enemy laner is aggressively pushing the wave to make you under your tower, then push back equally to try and keep the wave mid river.
2nd watch your jungler on map. watch for them to finish bot side jungle. watch for them to come to work top side jungle. when they start on top side jungle, you want to work on poking down your enemy laner to say half health or so (i mean, you dont have to wait for this. ALWAYS poke enemy whenever its risk free/low risk possible).
3rd. now is when you communicate with your jg. maybe a quick chat saying "freezing wave for top gank" or a ping for assistance (incase jg has mute all on). also start watching their life. if its first clear. most junglers might not have enough life to come risk a gank. and they need to back so that they can start trying to get the team the drake. because drake > gank always.
4th. if the jg looks like they will have enough life after top clear, then let the enemy slow push you towards your tower, but not to the point where your losing CS to tower hitting minons. a jungler WANTS TO GANK for you. but we also have to manage the macro of the game. and their thinking 1,2,3 minutes into the future. so if you set this up for us, we are thinking "well, i do need to back and work towards drake.. but my top lane has a perfect gank set up for me right now. and thats worth gold or assist gold. which will help gear me for drake". and we will come and gank.
so in summary. bullet list of points here
1 - if you want gank, you have to set it up for us. a perfect gank situation = this.
1a) enemy laner is closer to OUR tower than their own. this means we as jungler can come from river. and while we get them from the back, you get them from the front. and there is a LONG distance they would have to walk before they can get to the safety of their own tower.
1b) enemy laner's life is poked down enough to a point that with our life + your life. this makes sense for us to do. aka. we are 90% sure we can kill them in this 2v1 without either of us dying
1c) if you have previously forced the enemy to burn ult or flash or sums, you have pinged it in chat (we likely have time stamps on chat so we know if that ping was 1 minute ago or 5 minutes ago). this way we know what were running into.
2 - its all about wave management. if you watch map, and timers, you will start to learn roughly when good times to freeze waves are and set up nice ganks for your jg.
3 - we have to trust you. toooooo many laners, ask us for a gank, we show up, then the laner just sits there and farms, and we die, or just waste abilities/time. build this trust with us by doing things like pinging when your enemy laner uses a flash, or ignite, or teleport, or ult. doing this, we know that your an intelligent laner, and are more likely to make risks for you.
4 - when we come, folllow up. i dont care if theres a cannon to last hit. if we start the engage. you 100% need to engage as well. if you dont, or back, or farm the whole time. we probalby wont want to waste our time trying to gank for you.
5 - watch map.
6 - help us track the enemy JG by placing wards and securing scuttle. start of game. if we start bot side buff. and your top lane. ward our buff up there at 1:20 so we know if the enenmy jungler steals it while were doing bot jungle. also, theres 98% of the time a battle over scuttle bugs. watch us on map. and come join. cause if a laner come to that battle its a 2v1 and we kill enemy jungler 99% of the time. if we have wards in enemy jg, our jg, and can track where the enmy jg is, it makes our ability to gank lanes increase 1000 fold.
7 - be aware of macro. and what lvl different junglers can solo drake. MOST junglers need lvl 6 to drake. do you see your jungler just hitting lvl 6? and drake = infernal? if so then sorry, but if your pining us to come top side, we are not going to do it under any circumstance. ever. getting that first infernal is way more important. or if your bot side. and we just hit 6. dont do anything risky and have one of our laners in bot lane die. cause we dont want to go for a drake when our bot lane is down a man or 2. if your top lane. lvl 7-9 is when most junglers are going for that herald. same thing applies. stay alive. so that we can feel safer going for the herald because enemy laner cant really roam to stop us. if you start to build macro awareness and adjust your play to not whats happening NOW. but what NEEDS to happen in 1 minute. you can help us help you make plays. and ganks. show us your aware by pinging things like "herald/drake/baron/red buff/blue buff spawns in X seconds" stuff in chat. we see those pings, and we think "YES! A LANER THAT UNDER STANDS MACRO!"
8 - drop pink wards. you earn more gold/xp than we do. if you put a control ward in the gank bush, we can gank for you much easier.
9 - know matchups. some champs, counter others, and maybe your laning against someone that will kill your jungler 99.99% of the time. if your laning against an illaoi, we probably cant gank for you. (shes designed to be ungankable for nearly every jungler). or maybe, you counter your enemy top laner. and enemy mid laner, counters OUR mid laner. if thats the case, then since we only have so much time to help lanes (especially with the 9.1/9.2 jg nerfs, if we waste time, we fall really far behind and cant do crap by mid game), it might be wiser for us to focus on mid more, so that enemy mid doesn't get hyper fed.
10 - play a champ you have high mastery with. as a jg. when we are loading into a game. im looking at all 10 players mastery points on their champs. if i see your top lane, and have 300 mastery points on your champ. im not going to feel very comfy working with you throughout the match. so go practice your champs in norms until you can get m6/m7 mastery before taking it into ranked. now. on the opposite hand. if in that loading screen i see your M7 urgot with 250k mastery points on him, imma feel VERY comfortable trying to gank for you, as i'll feel secure in the fact that you know your champ.
list of things NOT TO DO:
Well, for one, the jungle is a role that covers the map, so I find myself (as a upstart jungler myself) stretched thin at times and can't be everywhere at once.
My suggestions are:
really it's rough because the jungler has an agenda and dragon (a very critical objective) is on the opposite side of the map.
I'm not a jungle main but I played the role extensively. It was like a secondary main. I can speak for myself only. You want me to gank your lane, learn to last hit minions only. Everyone's default mode in lane is to hard shove. Based on what I've seen in streams, people don't know any other way to play a lane until Diamond. Basically, by last hitting, the wave tends to be near your tower 90% of the time. It allows you to freeze at ideal times and with the enemy constantly shoving, even when a wave resets, they will shove it back to you. This means that the enemy laner is always vulnerable to ganks. I will visit such a lane repeatedly when I jungle. You'd have to beg me to stop ganking.
I'm not a jungle main, but I play toplane where ganks are fairly easy. My advice is to let the jungler be. The most you should do is Assistance pings, but for the most part I'd trust the jungler to path and gank whenever they want unless it's an unfavorable gank towards you. You shouldn't worry about ganks as much, but rather worry about getting ganked as that's more important. Especially if your jungler is a farm heavy one.
a simple ping works fine if your gank-able, say the naut with ult scenario, if i look top and you have no wards and your in the middle of the lane with wave thats not gank-able and im most likely not coming up to try and wasting my time, there are a lot of factors in ganks that laners need to learn to look out for before flaming their jger every game
What has worked for me lately when playing maokai is to point out before minions spawn that I have great gank assist (and further point out immobility of my Lane opponent if true).
Then I'll say that the jungler should come to my Lane for free kills early, and use the gold to help the rest of the team.
I think it works well because a jungler doesn't really want to help get a top Lane fed... Most times when you're in this situation you're on a tank and you're going to be useful regardless so he'd rather you be a bit behind and he get a carry fed.
However almost all junglers will understand that it's effective to get fed themselves, and to use that lead to get the carries fed. If that happens to give you an easier Lane, that's a great benefit too.
It also shows that you're not just asking for him to always help you. You're volunteering to help the team - you're saying that by getting a kill in your Lane the gold will help win for the team.
And it works well: almost every time I've had a carry jungler, I've hard-won games where my jungler got 3+ kills in my Lane for free. Nocturne and Xin Zhao have been my best partners for this, but other picks (e.g. neeko) have done the same. Obviously tank junglers won't work as well though - they'd prefer to go to a high damage Lane since they bring the cc.
You don't. Everytime I play top lane and my jungler ganks they just end up inting like the idiots they are and making things harder for me. That's why I play lane bully champions (Jayce) so I can win lane before the idiotic jungler ints.
The jungle cannot always gank you, for many reasons, it may be that the gank is very risky (LV6 Darius Illaoi) or that the jungle is elsewhere on the map, it may also not want to lose a dragon by being showed in toplane. If you are losing lane, or under tower constantly, warn the jungle, and wait for his gank, your goal is not to die. Always respectfully, so you don't create a bad atmosphere.
https://i.gyazo.com/38c6dbd8b802eee6381c8aacee8b9209.png
In my last ranked this GP lost line, and annoyed me throughout the game, and even went AFK, the only attempt of gank went wrong (Illaoi), so I dedicated the whole game to the botlane, we won, but the GP went AFK in the end, did not mind winning the game, "if I go wrong, better lose". [zombie-brand-clap]
