My hate stories regarding riven

Before you start reading my story you should first hear about my circumstances.

I'm primarily a player who plays blind pick and part of a 3-5 stack. The players who I primarily queue with are either diamonds/plats or bronze/gold. I view myself as a silver 1/ gold 5. I also like to play champions that are not frequently picked and I enjoy playing. Yes, if you pick #LCSBIGPLAYS champions riven might not be a big deal. However I enjoy playing jungle , support/jungle/adc, pre-rework and stuff like that.

This means that I'm not asking for a nerf; I'm just here to tell my stories about my experiences with riven.

PS: many players that I mention are my buddies and I do not intend for this to be offensive in any way.... PSS: sorry for the all caps: These games made me emotional.

So My stories regarding playing with and against riven:

1: I'm playing jungle and notice that our top lane just died to a jungle gank. Now this riven is currently 1-4 while I'm 2-0... I think to myself "eh wave is pushing... let me farm it". My top laner is like " is down and I'm pretty sure she has no ult; you should be fine". I'm like "I have more hp than her I should be fine".... NOPE SHE FUCKING TOWER DIVES ME JUST BECAUSE MY ULT IS DOWN AND FUCKING KILLS ME... LUCKILY THE TURRET FINISHES HER OFF BUT I'M SITTING HERE THINKING "WTF, I HAD MORE HP AND A TURRET; WHY THE FUCK DID SHE JUST TOWER DIVE ME AND KILL ME TO BOOT?"

5+ minutes later: I send a long range arrow down mid and get a easy gank on the enemy's midlaner. Our midlaner begins their recall while I decide to farm the minions. I hear the classic "THEY CANNOT GO UNPUNISHED" and see riven fucking charging me like a mad bull. I run to turret thinking "surely she see's our midlaner and the turret; she wouldn't surely tower dive me.." NOPE SHE FLASHES IN LIKE A MAD BULL. LUCKILY OUR MIDLANER WAS PAYING ATTENTION AND WE KILL HER BUT I'M SITTING HERE THINKING "WHAT INSANE PERSON WOULD TOWERDIVE 1 V 2 WHEN THE 2 HAS MORE GOLD THAN THE 1?!" The worst part was had our midlaner not been paying attention: I would have died guaranteed and that slut would have dashed away to safety.

Insert end of game: We win; this riven is 6-11 but she gave me AIDS... best (or worst) part : her summoner name had "riven" in it.

2: I'm playing support and lo and behold their riven gets fucking fed. COME MID GAME SHE IS RUNNING AROUND KILLING US 1V2 OR CHARGING AT US 1 V 3, KILLING 1 AND THEN LOL DASHING OUT. However, I'm playing with my friends and although we may all chat jokes, have fun etcetera; WE DON'T SURRENDER. We hold out until mid-late game. Eventually, the enemy team gets baron buff and we wait like men to fight till the bitter end. The enemy team begins to take the last outer top turret and for some insane reason their riven decides to farm creeps that are at our mid inhibitor. I guess she thought "10 MINUTES AGO I 1 V 3'D THEM; KILLED 1 AND THEN DASHED OUT. SURELY I WILL BE SAFE FARMING MINIONS NEAR THEIR INHIBITOR BY MYSELF" Well I fucking flash engage her (YEAH I FUCKING FLASH TIBBERS HER I WANTED THAT SLUT DEAD) AND WE FUCKING 5 MAN DOGPILE. WE THEN WIN THE 4V5 ENGAGEMENT AT TOP AND WE START OUR PUSH DOWN MID.

Now this riven revives and does what anyone except riven players would think is insane. Rather than waiting around 15 seconds for her teammates to revive she dives us 1 v 5. I guess her logic was "I 1 V 3'D THEM BEFORE SO IF I HAVE A TURRET ON MY SIDE I COULD SURELY 1 V 5 THEM AMIRITE CAUSE I'M FUCKING RIVEN" Well in a matter of 2 seconds; she is dead. OF COURSE I'M DEAD AS WELL BECAUSE GOD FORBID I PICK A SQUISHY VERSUS RIVEN but we just traded the support for their most farmed champion. We push; we win.

So this riven ends the game with a insane KDA but throws the game by charging in like mad bulls come late game.

3: My premade team picks . (I'm actually the only person who hates riven period; my friends LOVE playing her) I jokingly say "your going to win your lane, get insanely big and then throw for us by diving 1 v 4". He replies "don't worry I got this". He gets fed and it looks like a easy win. But I know riven players and their reckless nature: lo and behold he dives 1 v 4 come mid game and dies. I chat "yep I told you right from the start of the game". He replies: "they were doing dragon I had to stop them"

We win because premades are different from solo queue: we actually work together sometimes.

When my high elo buddies play riven: this happens 8/10 times. The other 2/10 times they feed hue

4. I think this game is where I get a epiphany: Our riven gets rekt. She was unable to recover come mid game and she was almost useless. Now it is no secret that I HATE riven with a passion and my friend is like "look at what happens when riven gets countered; she is fucking useless". So I decide to watch what our riven player is doing. And that is when I had my epiphany: OUR RIVEN IS PLAYING PASSIVE?! OH SHIT THAT IS WHY THIS RIVEN IS DOING TERRIBLY! SHE IS NOT CHARGING IN AND DIVING THE BACK LINE LIKE A FAT MAN RUNNING TOWARDS PANCAKES! SO THAT RIVEN PLAYSTYLE THAT I HATE THE MOST IS THE ONLY PROPER WAY TO PLAY RIVEN?! OMG I SOLVED THE MYSTERY!

I guess she was just testing riven out in normal queue and is a relatively passive player similar to myself. I had to sit down and meditate after that game.

5. After the rework of (WHICH I HATE BTW) I refused to play and had to think of a new champion to play mid. I decide and of course I have to lane against . I hear that armor counters riven so I decide "let me rush zhonyas". Unfortunately: playing karthus against riven has got to be the most frustrating experience I have ever had. (MAYBE YOU HAD A BETTER EXPERIENCE PLAYING VS I'M SORRY FOR FAILING AT LEAGUE OF LEGENDS)

   I rush a seeker's armguard. Unfortunately TOWERDIVES ME AND STILL FUCKING KILLS ME. LUCKILY I HAD MY ULTIMATE AND IT ENDED WITH A 1 FOR 1.

   I realize that riven can keep doing this and will probably get away and live if I don't have my ultimate. So I go back home and buy a chain vest before coming back to lane.......... NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES: SHE STILL 80-0 ME IN 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I DON'T KNOW IF GETTING THAT CHAIN VEST ON KARTHUS WAS ACTUALLY A DUMB MOVE BUT I WAS SITTING THERE GOING "WTF IS GOING ON". So in the end I end up being her bitch.

And then it happens: its around mid-late game and I hear the classic "THERE IS NO OTHER WAY" and she towerdives me. I ZHONYA DODGE HER ULT AND SMILE.... THAT SMILE DISAPPEARS IN ABOUT 1 SECOND WHEN I REALIZE THAT NOW HER CD'S ARE BACK UP AND I'M A FUCKING SITTING DUCK. SHE KILLS ME AND I SIT THERE WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

We lose and I lose faith in karthus...

6. I decide I frequently queue with my higher elo friends.. let me try solo queue.

The first game I pick and of course I have to lane against fucking because everyone and their mother plays that bitch.

She gets a early level 2 and tries to all in me with her ignite. I survive by flashing ( I know, why no ? I dunno either). Now I thought any normal player would just use this hp advantage and starve me... NOPE SHE TOWERDIVES ME AT LEVEL 2. TOO BAD IM AND FLING HER ONCE SHE GETS TOWER AGGRO AND START RUNNING BENNY HILL STYLE. I LIVE WITH A SLIVER OF HP.

Now here is where I truly do not understand the thought process that goes through a riven player's mind. I have teleport and so I get back to lane much faster thus I have a gold and experience advantage. I rush a and get like 4 because I want to get a early archangels. I assume that this riven would just stay back and farm.... NOPE AS SOON AS SHE LOOKS AT ME... SHE FUCKING ALL IN'S ME AGAIN. I'M SITTING THERE WONDERING "I HAVE FUCKING 4 .. WHY ARE YOU TRADING HEALTH YOU STUPID SLUT? WELL I BARELY SURVIVE THANKS TO BRUSH JUKES AND THIS RIVEN IS NOW 0-2 AND BEHIND A LOT OF CS. I GO HOME AND BUY A AND COME BACK TO LANE THINKING "I JUST BOUGHT ARMOR AND NOT DAMAGE SO SURELY THIS RIVEN WILL CUT HER LOSSES AND JUST FARM". NOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHE ALL INS ME AGAIN. I THINK AFTER SHE GOES 0-3 ALMOST 0-4 DID IT CROSS HER MIND THAT SHE CANNOT KILL ME. WELL TOO BAD NOW SLUT; I'M NORMALLY A PASSIVE PLAYER AND WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED WITH A CS AND A SLIGHT KILL LEAD. NOW I'M GOING TO BE THAT ANNOYING AND RUIN YOUR FUCKING DAY SLUT...

We lost because this is solo queue. Riven was 2-8 doe so I did god's work.

7. This game happened like many months ago; I remember it like it was yesterday: I'm playing top against Their jungle camps me 4 times and gets 3 kills, nocturne gets 1. At this point she towerdives me solo and I get a fifth death. I'm sitting here thinking "yep another game with "

HOWEVER, I NEVER SURRENDER and I farm stacks. Mid game rolls around and the most amazing realization occurs in everyone except 's mind: SHE IS SHIT AND ONLY GOT FED THANKS TO JUNGLER. SHE ALL IN'S THE CLOSEST THING SHE SEE'S AND SINCE IS THE BIGGEST MOTHERFUCKER IN TOWN THAT MEANS SHE BLOWS HER LOAD ON ME. TOO BAD SLUT: I HAVE FROZEN HEART AND ROA. I NOMNOMNOM THAT BITCH IN TEAM FIGHTS AND WOULD SAY QUOTES (in allied chat of course) : "MMMMM FRESH RABBIT" AND "DOES ANYONE HAVE A TOOTHPICK TO CLEAN THE SHIT BETWEEN MY TEETH?"

I think this is one of the only games I have ever played where a Riven got extremely fed but became utterly useless.

Riven's score: 4-0 to 6-6 Me: 0-5 to 7-6 Riven at the end: "repot team especially jungler"

There are plenty of other stories since is everywhere but these are just some that I had to get off my chest.

Thank you for reading and remember NO MATTER HOW DARK THE TIMES ARE. NO MATTER HOW OPPRESSING THAT RIVEN IS. JUST KNOW THAT TOMORROW WILL COME. NEVER GIVE UP. THAT RIVEN WILL 1 V 4 YOU LATE GAME. SHE WILL MAKE A MISTAKE BY CHARGING IN LIKE A BULL SEEING RED. YOU MUST BE PATIENT. YOU MUST ENDURE. YOU MUST SURVIVE. TRUST ME; YOU WILL WIN. I HATE WITH A PASSION BUT I ENDURED. I SURVIVED.

TL;DR stories about my experiences with Riven.