A Summary of the Boards Demands for Busy Rioters

I know that Rioters are very busy and do not have time read all of the Boards' deepest desires and most reasonable requests. Therefore I will quickly summarize the most recent and pressing demands which the Boards community waits for answers with baited breath. The following list summarizes the main points of posts or post categories which get more than 40 up-votes consistently because obviously threads below this threshold do not accurately reflect the humble opinion of the Boards community and have no good ideas for League of Legends:

1. should be nerfed or reworked into the ground.
2. should be nerfed or reworked below the ground is nerfed to.
3. Other champions, specifically the melee champions we love playing ( ,, etc. ), should be able to kite .
4. If the Boards community finds any other champion in the future too strong using their all knowing intellect, the Riot Balance Team shall immediately nerf said champion to the level to which the supremely fair Boards community shall determine.
5. Furthermore, The Riot Balance Team should be checked for hallucinogenic drug use and/or alcohol use and should be fired every time they change how a champion works if the Boards community, in its infinite wisdom, does not approve.
6. Furthermore, the Riot Champion Update Team should immediately rework or update all champions which the Boards mentions in a popular posts, as this determines what the Boards community and therefore all League of Legends players truly want.
7. The Lore Team shall immediately put out a complete and well connected universe for League of Legends with a deep character development for all champions and at least two pages of Lore input in the client and one Lore video.
8. Any delay on the behalf of Riot in implementing these demands, should have the Boards community investigate all parties involved in that delay, and if needed to terminate the contract of said parties.
9. Further demands will come at a later time with appropriate time scheduling determined by the wise Boards community.

PARODY OVER* BTW, I actually really appreciate the tolerance and bravery of Rioters to intrude upon the sometimes hostile territory that is Boards and I appreciate all the time that you actually do spend talking to us. I hope you keep up the good work, but just don't give an assassin tank stats ( ) :P.