How do I cheat in League of Legends. People with my same stats execute much swifter, do I pay more?

Is my position in the server queue dependent on how much I pay? I click just as much but I execute slower, is there a cheatcode for executing faster? Do I pay Riot for this? What about damage my champ does to myself, can I pay to not have this happen? Is this a bug, but it seems like it's a feature. I want to pay to remove the ability to hurt myself in game.