'Is My Client Broken?' An Ode / Alternative Name: 'Riot Fix Your Shit'

I logged in today, to blank pages. Profile tab - no banner, no mastery, ranked missing - PANIC! Check skins, there's skins but no champions (?) Clicks play, sound but nothing happens. Collection...loading...loading...loading... My friend wants to play? "You were not able to join the party" Has patience, waits a few minutes, "You were not able to join the party" Restart client, friend checks in, "You were not able to join the party" OH but my banner just appeared! "You were not able to join the party" Profile filled in again with ranked and mastery but "You were not able to join the party" Hits play again, I'm IN! But... Bot games only? Nope! "Something unexpected happened when you were trying to create your lobby" "You were not able to join the party" My friend just started without me... is my client broken?

The End