I give you, cancerdinger.

So I messed around with a few builds, and found my favorite "troll build". http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2641154263/45096153?tab=overview

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2641126710/45096153?tab=overview

http://matchhistory.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/#match-details/NA1/2641108127/45096153?tab=overview

So how do you do it?

The build is: I-3 3 1 1, D-0 2 2 Poro ward is optional. Your Core items are Zzrot portal, Banner of Command, and Ruby sight stone. With the ability to get these on such a low cooldown (42 seconds) you can easily banner every single cannon minion, allowing you to have two cannons pushing one lane, as well as up to 3 zz'rot portals (1 for each lane, or stacking them up). It forces multiple people to have to come deal with you, especially if their best wave clear options are AP based champions, such as a viktor, Ziggs, xerath, singed, etc.

Zhonya's hour glass goes down to a 32 second cooldown as well, allowing you to have it up every time you get engaged on by them trying to force you off.

Your rush item will be banner vs AP, or Zz'rot vs AD. Take the other half of that combo second, and finish it with a ruby sight stone. SS also gives you the vision you need to fully push however deep you want without being caught out too much. Take the blue trinket as well so that you can scout those super far spots; this makes it so you don't need to leave your lane.

Start the game by going to the enemy junglers top side buff. Drop three turrets, and do some light kiting. You will miss out on a couple of minions in lane, but you will still get to level 2 first, as well as deny a crucial early game objective to the enemy.

After this the name of the game is shove, shove, shove. You should be able to constantly ward by using your free wards you will get from kleptomancy and your poro to ensure that you cannot be snuck up on. Even if they do, you have a turret set up so you can get an easily double kill for them ganking you. Just don't be afraid to stand your ground.

Be sure that every time you can banner of command a cannon minion, you shove it to tower with your ultimate up. That way, once the tower focuses the empowered cannon, your ultimate turret is free to hit the tower until it despawns from time alive, not from damage taken. This ensures you get the most out of every push.

Once you get a small lead, you can really start to punish hard. Taking the two top lane towers quickly, and then setting up a banner and zz'rot botlane. After that, rush to rift herald and take it so you can set up a super push. By this point, you should be able to Double banner a minion wave easily (starting at your spawn) and then set up two cannons, rift herald, a zzrot, and your cannon. You will melt whatever tower you are trying to get (hopefully an inhib turret at this point).

Pick up the Rylais and Zhonyas to make yourself that much harder to kill, and apply more damage through your turrets.

The total cost of the build (because you take stopwatch and magical boots) is 13k gold. I often hit max build before 30 minutes. You are essentially a split pushing support in a sense. You do not want to go and seek fights actively if you can help it.