Tips and Tricks on How to Not Suck in Ranked

Hello everyone. I am Gretch. These are my tips and tricks on how to not suck in Ranked.

Step 1: Know Your Priorities

Hey! All your lanes pushed, and you need to farm? Enemy team not gonna stop you? Great time to take wolves, riiiiiight? WRONG. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, in your life, I swear to God, prioritize jungle camps over lanes, especially your lanes. Here are your priorities at any given time.

-Nexus -Inhib/Baron -Towers/Farm/Dragon -Kills -Buying Items -Not going AFK -Not being Teemo -Not dying a painful death in real life -Farming jungle creeps if you're not the jungler

Unless every single one of your lanes is pushed, and you have Baron and Dragon, and you can do no more, anywhere else, and you don't need to buy items, don't. Farm. Jungle. Creeps.

Additionally, make sure you know how to focus in team fights. This is imperative to your, and your team's, success. Usually, you will want to focus the ADC or APC first, depending on who does more damage and contributes more to a fight. Alternatively, if someone of another position is extremely fed and can also do very well in team fights, then it is a good idea to prioritize them. After that, focus CC/secondary damage. Finally, focus the tank line.

Peeling is when you stop an enemy champion from attacking a priority on your team via damage or CC. This does not mean, however, to focus said enemy champion until they are dead. For example, if a tank immediately dives your ADC with CC, but uses it up and runs away, do not continue to focus the tank as the enemy ADC and APC skin you and your team alive. If your jungler engages the entire back line and has their full attention, do your best to take out the damage dealers and team fighters while you have the opportunity. The enemy team will not wait in line to shake your hand and auto-attack you in the face, they will full combo you and shred your life bar like cheese while you decide to focus post-combo Blitzcrank because he punched you and he needs to learn a lesson.

Step Two: Don't Be A Total Asshole

Your teammates must work as a team, as indicated by the namesake. Sometimes, teams don't always get along. However, the general consensus is that teams want to win, and will therefore tell you things to help you improve in case you are doing bad. Do not respond to honest criticism and helpful tips by typing "stfu faggot" and continue doing what you are doing. I don't care how much concrete your abusive father dumped into your ear canals at birth and how many times you got dropped on your head. If this is how you would've acted at birth, you would've died within days from lack of food, you stubborn jackass that gives honorable donkeys a bad name. HEEHAW. See, that's a better attitude than "stfu faggots".

Also, if you are one to be giving constructive criticism and advice, please do not act like you know everything and that everything you know should be obvious. Do not insult your teammates and tell them they suck after giving up first blood top lane. It happens. This is a similar attitude to comic book villains and six year olds who are so spoiled that Santa Claus would pay 5 dollars to bitch slap them in front of their family. We should all try to help each other, be thankful for help that is given, and be glad we can improve someone else somewhere in the world. Get off your goddamn high horses, and realize that when even the horses wanna beat you to death and kill themselves via shotgun to the head, you are being toxic. If you continue to be toxic, kindly move to Chernobyl, where toxicity is highly welcomed. I hear they have great internet connection there.

Tune in next time, where I utterly lose my sanity and punch a whole through my monitor. Have fun, Summoners!

Sorry, just needed to get that all out.