Before I address the change itself, I want to respond to how some people's attitudes towards
's motivations, which I think is oversimplifying - whatever you may think of the ret-con - best characterized by OP:
a bitter nobody.
He's a slave - it means he doesn't even belong to himself, whatever else he has. Consider that for a moment. No amount of comfort, friendship, elevation or education will change the fact that he is someone's property. I doubt that any of us would be happy with the knowledge that people would view our lives as inherently worth less than that of others, and whatever value we did have was ascribed to us by someone else.
From both stories, we can see that in
's case,
valued him a great deal - which is great. However, there's a difference between being someone's trusted friend and confidant and being a trusted friend and confidant that they own. After a while, Xerath would begin to see Azir as either powerless to change what was a deeply engrained institution or viewing Xerath like any other slave, albeit one who he cared about a great deal - someone who's place was and always would be, at his master's beck and call. From what we can see of Xerath's character, he clearly moved towards the second conclusion - that Azir was more unwilling than unable to free him. Realizing that someone you considered your brother for most of your life doesn't believe you're worth the effort to help become your own person would likely feel like an immense betrayal.
Sure, he's the emperor's best bud which counts for a lot but that is essentially all he has. Whatever status he has comes from being the emperor's slave - as far as society is concerned he will never be a real person or the equal of a free man in his own right. Clearly, this argument can be flipped around to say that he only had all the advantages he did because he belonged to
- education, comfort, etc - which he more than likely wouldn't have had if he had been a free, but presumably common, man.
That brings us to the second point though. We can see from his story that he had begun to question the stratified nature of his society - an elite few at the top given all the opportunities while the rest of the population is stuck on square one until they die. He was in a unique position, being raised among the nobles but certainly not one of them, and able to see both ends of the spectrum. This perspective on the system would (and did) lead him to wonder why the system was the way it was, which would in turn lead him to seek not just his own freedom, but to topple the entire social order and put himself in a position to rebuild it how he believed it should be.
Yes, what he did was morally wrong - causing massive collateral damage and killing likely thousands of people. That's a given. However, my point is he had fairly good reason for being extremely bitter, and that is bound to eat away at a person in general, let alone their moral framework.
And that was a bigger post than I planned - I'll have to come back later to explain my thoughts on the ret-con proper.