Katarina new bio reminds me of a joke

Johnny El Rojo·2/5/2018, 6:24:48 PM·41 votes·3,252 views
Katarina - Biography - Universe of League of Legends

The way her father pushed her to obey his every command without question, to the spot of stopping to see her as a daughter, reminds me of a joke of my country, and why that is an awful lesson to teach:

Three generals are in a warship. One american, the other russian, and the other spanish. Suddenly, they start arguing about whose soldier is the bravest. So, the american calls one of his men, and says to him:

"You are going to jump into the water, start swimming, give 2 turns around the ship, and then you are gonna kill 2 sharks, and bring their teeth to me."

The soldier jumps. He does as his general said, and then, after a lot of screaming, returns to the ship bleeding, but with the tooth of the sharks.

"Is that having balls or not?" says the american general.

Then the russian general calls one of his soldiers, and says to him:

"You are going to jump into the water, start swimming, give 5 turns around the ship, and then you are gonna kill 2 sharks, and bring their corpses back to me."

The soldier jumps. He does as his general said, and then, after a lot of screaming and mighty roars, comes back with the 2 sharks, but lacking an arm.

"Is that having balls or not?" says the russian general.

Then the spanish general calls one of his soldiers, and says to him:

"You are gonna jump into the water, start swimming, give 20 turns around the ship, and then you are gonna kill 10 sharks, and bring their corpses back to me. Then, you are going back, getting underwater, and look for a missing treasure, without going out for air until you have found it."

The spanish soldier takes a look at the water. Sees the blood, sees the sharks, and instead of jumping, goes back to his general, and says to him.

"With all due respect, my general. Why don't you go and tell your f*ing mother to do that?"

Then, he heads back to his quarters. And the spanish general, instead of looking pissed off, has a smile of pride on his face. And then sais to the other 2 generals.

"You saw that? Is that or not having balls?"

Is just that the way he expects undying loyalty to his every command, without question, not answering even the reason to his orders, makes me think that somethign very wrong is happening with Noxus chain of command, for a society that supposedly supports diversity and the fight for strenght. Because fighting for strenght requieres independent thought. Something General Ducoteau doesn't seem to allow from his assassins.

29 Comments

XIII Vanitas2/5/2018, 9:54:08 PM28 votes

Kled was right: the only true Noxian is Riven.

xelaker2/5/2018, 10:37:17 PM16 votes

The real lesson of the story is that the American was the real man. dude jumps in takes some shark teeth and gets out. manly. the Russian jumps in and fights 2 sharks missing a bunch of teeth that were just beat up by the American and still managed to lose his arm. The Spanish man clearly had just eaten and was observing the 30 min waiting rule like some kinda sissy.

Noxian KitKat2/6/2018, 12:25:07 AM13 votes

I got to say... this new BIO bothers me. Before in the old Du Couteau lores/bio's they had an emphasis on Family. This new takes just seems... off. In how it's written, I wonder why Katarina would even care if her father disappeared now. Before her fathers disappearance was one of the driving forces for her joining the League of Legends, and then after the Institute of War was retconned out, it became her driving force in Noxus. Same with Talon's and in some ways, Cassiopeia's as well. They worked as a unit to discover General Marcus Du Couteau's fate. The General himself seemed more human, relatable as well in their old Bio's, now he just sounds like a dick...

SomeStars2/5/2018, 7:51:18 PM6 votes

it reminds me of the brand new noxus story that came out at the same time "the principals of strength"

where Alyssa comes from a family of nobles that clings to its ideals of kings and rulers and would fight the largest army in runeterra to maintain a "fleeting vanity" as she calls it

[spoilers]

Alyssa in the end of the story overthrows her father's rule and becomes a true noxian ultimately saving her people by completely joining them with noxus

now on the other hand katarina's lore has her striving to perform her family duties for honor not for noxus but for the Du Couteau family.

this is a qoute from her father which i absolutely hate because it neglects everything that is noxus. "The greatest assassins do not seek recognition or glory, he reminded her. They do not expect to occupy a place of honor at their master’s right hand."

where as the noxian belief is something along the lines of; by performing deeds you can make a place for yourself and a name in noxus as a great and powerful person, but not by your "birthright" do you gain any claim

i love the entirety of noxus. everything from the "equal opportunity" way of life to the sheer power of darius and his warriors and the classic misdirection of noxian mages and chemists

i have mained katarina since i started league it wasn't just the feast or famine playstyle, or the yasuo level mastery flashes, it was the entire idea of her themeatic and how it delivered in game that made me love her

i loved that she has such a cocky/hotheaded attitude. in her old lore she was determined to make a name for herself but in the end went overboard after making the mistake of killing the wrong target which gave her the scar she has

now she sounds like there is an internal struggle to hold back the parts that i loved the most of her personality, and instead of making a mistake then promptly tying the loose ends. she tried to do something more then what she was asked then gets punished for not following orders

edit: god damn i wrote a wall of text i'm sorry if you read my rant

Darius Strada2/5/2018, 10:01:24 PM5 votes

typical spaniard, bitching out of a fight

Xilixer2/6/2018, 12:07:29 AM4 votes

the bigger question is how does garen come into this?

ModCaptainMårvelous2/6/2018, 3:37:00 AM4 votes

Let it never be said Marcus DuCoteau ever got a "#1 dad" mug.

Vistha D Reptile2/6/2018, 7:20:06 PM2 votes

Shen Welcome to League of Legends Lore Retcon where everything is made up and the previous lore doesn't matter.

Shen That's right, the previous lore is like Gameplay crying about Yasuo, it just doesn't matter.

Velzard of Koz2/5/2018, 7:51:54 PM2 votes

He's moody because his tea is cold. It's generally due to cold tea.

Oakleaf Ranger2/5/2018, 9:15:00 PM2 votes

I think it has to do with the line of work that assassins do. Can’t be an assassin if everyone and their mother recognizes your face.

You can still be respected and powerful without necessarily being a glory hound.

SpecterVonBaren2/5/2018, 11:21:32 PM2 votes

"Because fighting for strenght requieres independent thought. Something General Ducoteau doesn't seem to allow from his assassins."

Not really. The Soviet Union became an incredibly powerful army during WWII but their chain of command was terrible.

Strigina2/6/2018, 8:28:55 AM2 votes

To be fair, her father had a point when he told her an assassin can't just change the target for their own fame. Famous assassin is like famous smuglar - you are doing it wrong (looking at you, Han Solo). And Noxian should serve the land, not himself. But killing his daughter for disobeying him is kinda harsh :-D Well, he is dead anyway, so whatever.

GreenLore2/6/2018, 11:12:43 AM2 votes

Because fighting for strenght requieres independent thought. Something General Ducoteau doesn't seem to allow from his assassins.

I think the real problem was that Katarina didn't just thought independently,she flat out ignored his orders,because she wanted to show off,causing many noxian to die.

Elipo2/6/2018, 6:15:46 PM1 votes

New Katarina's lore is a joke.

abca982/5/2018, 9:28:00 PM1 votes

Ha estado bien, lo admito.

Kingdom Corn2/6/2018, 3:02:01 AM1 votes

Ok I won't lie that story was amazing and funny I hope you don't mind me using it a few times ;) thanks for that amazing post.

Squeaky Dreemurr2/5/2018, 10:31:48 PM1 votes

i personally like it