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[CCOS][Champion Concept] Lyn - The Winter's Huntress

TheDOTA2People·11/16/2016, 12:41:42 PM·5 votes·710 views

I'm DOTA 2 player and I've just got into LOL for like two weeks, and I will say that I like this game already. Because of that, I want to see more new and interesting mechanics in the game to make it more exciting and fun. So here is my concept

Basic Information

Primary Role: AD Carry Secondary Role: Offtank Alias(es): Eyes of Winter, Eyes of Freljord, Winter's Huntress, Frost Hunter Gender: Female Race: Human Faction: Freljord - Avarosa

Basic Stat

HP: 512 -- 1926 Ranged: 575 / 175 Attack Damage: 57 -- 102 Attack Speed: 0.635 Armor: 23 -- 84 Magic Resist: 32 Move Speed: 330

Abilities

1) Lyn's Abilities

Passive - Winter's Huntress

  • Frost - The ice wolf Lyn has a loyal companion named Frost. Frost shares the same stat as Lyn and is treat as a champion. Frost's and Lyn's abilities share level but doesn't share cooldown Frost move and attack along side Lyn and can be controlled by using Alt + Right click or Frost's abilities. Any heal done to Lyn also effect Frost and vice versa. When Frost dies, Lyn can bring him back by clicking on him and channel for 5 s. When Lyn dies, Frost will die with her.
  • Bond of friendship Lyn has a special item called [Bond of friendship]. It is used to switch between Lyn's skill set and Frost's skill set. This item cannot be sold and can be upgraded 2 times to upgrade Frost's and Lyn's Ultimate.
  • Winter's Huntress Lyn has 2 form: Hunter and Scavanger
  • Hunter:
    • Use [Bullet] as resource for her abilities
    • Each basic attack consume 1 [Bullet] and generate 1 [Shell]
    • Can hold up to 120 bullets
    • Recall and Respawn refresh her bullet count to 120 (160)
    • Automatically switch to Scavenger form when run out of bullet
  • Scavenger:
  • Become melee with 175 range
  • Use [Shell] as resource for her abilities
  • [Shell] indicate how much bullet Lyn will get back with R - Re-arm

** [R] - Re-arm** Replenish her [Bullet] base on how much [Shell] she has, reset the cooldown of her basic abilities and active items. Refresh the duration of buffs on her.

  • Cost: No cost
  • CD: 80 -- 40 s
  • Bond of friendship upgrade:
  • [Bullet] and [Shell] cap increase to 160 ( First upgrade )
  • CD reduce to 20s ( Second upgrade )

1.a) Hunter Form

[Q] - Piercing Shot After 0.3s delay, Lyn shoot a bullet in straight line that pierces through enemy, deal physical damage and reduce armor of all enemy hit, can stack up multiple times

  • Cost: - 1 bullet, + 1 shell
  • Range: 750
  • Damage: 30 -- 90 (+ 45% AD)
  • Armor reduce: 1/2/3/4/5 %
  • Stack: 5 times
  • Stack last: 6s
  • CD: 10 -- 3 s

[W] - Focus Fire First cast: Lyn start loading her gun, up to 15 bullets (0.5s per bullet). Lyn cannot auto attack when she is loading Second cast: Lyn shoot all loaded bullets in a straight line, deal physical damage and slow enemy hit for a short time

  • Cost: - 1 -- 15 bullet(s), + 1 -- 15 shell(s)
  • Range: 800
  • Damage: 30 -- 70 (+40% AD) per bullet
  • Slow: 20 -- 50%
  • Duration: 3 s
  • CD: 18 -- 10 s

[E] - Steel Trap Place a trap on the ground that last 5 minutes. The trap becomes invisible after 1s. If an enemy champion step on the trap, the enemy will be rooted until he/she destroy the trap. Each second while being trapped, the enemy take damage.

  • Cost: No cost
  • Range: 400
  • Damage: 10 -- 20 (+2% AD) (+1% the enemy's current HP)
  • Trap HP: 5

1.b) Scavenger Form

[Q] - Stifling Dagger Lyn throw a dagger at the targeted enemy, deal physical damage and slow that enemy. If that enemy die, the dagger will bounce to the nearest enemy ( prioritize champion) and stun for a short time.

  • Cost: No cost
  • Damage: 40 -- 100 (+ 55% AD)
  • Range: 600
  • Bounce Range: 250
  • Slow: 20 -- 30%
  • Slow duration: 4s
  • Stun duration: 2s
  • CD: 10 -- 6s

[W] - Scrap gun First cast: Lyn start loading shell into her scrap gun at a rate of 10 per second. Second cast: Blast all loaded shell in a cone, deal physical damage and cause the enemy to bleed for 20% travel distance for 3s

  • Cost: 10 -- 120 ( 160) shells
  • Damage: 20 -- 50 (+25% AD) per shell
  • Radius: 550
  • CD: 12s

[E] - Repair Heal an ally, one part is instant and the other is over time.

  • Cost: No cost
  • Range: 450
  • Heal: 50 -- 180 (+ 35% AD) instant and 5 -- 15 (+ 3% AD) per second over the next 5s

2) Frost's Abilities

[Q] - Command: Attack / Return Passive: Each attack cause the enemy to bleed 10 (+ 1% AD) HP each second for 3s Attack: Frost pounce toward the target, deal physical damage and mark that target as Hunted for 5s Return: Frost return to Lyn side.

  • Hunted: Reveal to enemy and when an enemy at attack this unit, that enemy receive 5% attack speed and move speed boost for 6s, can stack up to 5 times
  • Damage: 40 -- 80 ( + 30% AD )
  • Range: 500
  • CD: 12 -- 8s

[W] - Command: Scout / Return Scout: Frost goes scout the target direction, reveal the area he walk pass for 15s Return: Frost return to Lyn side

  • CD: 30s

[E] - Command: Ride / Leap Ride: Frost return to Lyn and let Lyn ride on his back for 12 -- 20s. Increase move speed and attack speed while riding. Lyn can activate Leap while riding Frost Leap: Jump 400 -- 700 unit toward the targeted direction and Lyn get down from Frost.

  • Move speed buff: 30 -- 60%
  • Attack speed buff: 20 -- 40%
  • CD: 60s

[R] - Command: Snatch / Throw Snatch: Frost dashes forward, deal magic damage. If he collide with an enemy champion, suppress that enemy champion for 3s. Within that 3s, Frost can activate Throw Throw: Throw the suppressed enemy 600 units toward the targeted direction.

  • Damage: 200 -- 350 (+ 50% AP)
  • Range: 900
  • CD: 100s
  • Bond of friendship upgrade:
  • Throw range increase to 800 ( First upgrade )
  • Damage increase to 300 -- 500 ( + 55% AP ) ( Second upgrade )

Lore

"Did not get any good catch today?" - asks Braum "Well... Frost ate it again..." - the frustrated Lyn answers "Aren't he a cute little puppy" - says Braum, laughing. "Yeah". A light smile escape Lyn's lips. And from that lips, come a question: "Can I have dinner here? Frost ate all of my catch today..." "Sure thing, my friend. I'll go get you some goat milk". Lyn is a huntress who live at the very edge of the frozen mountain of Freljord. She hunts for food very day and trade some of which she hunted for goat milk. Everything went as usual until that day. She went out and tried to track down some deers for her next meal. She found some track, a deer footstep. Following the track, she went deep into the frozen forest without realizing it. The deeper she went, the track got more and more intense. And then suddenly, it stopped, and a bloodstain appeared. Examine that blood, it was fresh, the deer must be nearby. Looking around for some times, she saw a big white wolf were eating a deer. She readied her gun and shot the wolf. With one shot, the bullet pierced the wolf skull and killed it. It fell to the ground. She waited until the wolf stopped moving to approach it. "A magnificent beast" she thought as she approached to wolf. But then she heard to small cry come from a cave near where the wolf was lying. Curious, she followed the cry to discover a pup inside. Its fur was pure white and its eyes hadn't even opened. " A newborn wolf, probably a week old" she thought, "Did I just kill its mom?" she questioned herself. After a moment, she decided to bring the small back to her house and raised it. The first week of raising a wolf was terrifying, or as she said "I regret everything". She had to run every where for a bit of milk for the little wolf. 4 weeks passed, the wolf opened its eyes for the first time, and also on that day, she gave it the name: Frost. A month passed, Frost could walk on his own. 6 months passed, she taught him the first command: return. A year passed, Frost went out on a hunt with Lyn for the first time. And now, 5 years has passed from the day she brought him back to her house, Lyn and Frost has become more than just pet and master. They have become friend, family. "I used to regret that I brought him back. But now, I regret not teaching him how to leave some for me"

Quote

  • Champion select: Okay Frost, try not to eat my dinner today.
  • Movement:
  • Following the track
  • Fresh track
  • Something has passed through here
  • Approaching
  • Lyn's Q: This will leave a mark
  • Lyn's W: Guess I must use burst fire
  • Lyn's E: Hope no one is stupid enough to walk on this
  • Lyn's R: Hold it right there. I'm reloading
  • Frost's Q: Attack Frost.
  • Frost's W: Look for prey Frost
  • Frost's E: Let's go Frost
  • Frost's R: Get 'em Frost
  • Taunt: You're fighting a 2 versus 1 fight man, give it up
  • Joke: Frost, sit ( Frost's not sitting) I said sit ( still not sitting) Okay I give up. ( replace sit with any basic dog trick: lie down, roll over, etc) ( Lyn cannot taunt, joke, dance, laugh when Frost is dead)

2 Comments

fugertech11/17/2016, 2:05:17 PM2 votes

As a fellow participant in this November's CCOS, I feel the need to give some other people reviews from time to time. So here I am, giving you a review :D

Let's get right into it.

LORE

There isn't a whole lot here and honestly...I find it a bit difficult to read. I can still make out the main points, but you might consider cleaning it up a bit. It never hurts to ask other people for help, by the way. Other than that, it seems the lore is a bit lackluster. Why does she have a connection to Braum? All her lore says is that she buys goat milk; that doesn't necessarily mean she has ties to Braum. If nothing else I would recommend fleshing the lore out so that it has a few more details. I can get behind her finding this wolf pup and raising him and them ending up being like family but...I'm not sure actually. It just feels like there should be more.

I suppose you have everything that is absolutely necessary however. So feel free to keep things the way they are.

STATS

Everything's looking good here. Add scaling MR though; since you've dictated that Lyn herself has two different attack ranges (like a hybrid melee/ranged champion), she needs to have that as well. Unless you plan on having Frost be like a pet and that melee range is supposed to be his attack range. In that case, you need to clearly define that in your description somewhere. Since I'm doing this section by section I could be speaking without knowing, but I'll address that later if or when I get to it.

Well done. So far I'm not seeing anything major with the concept, which is contradictory to what one would expect of a person just getting into League. But your background with DOTA gives you experience, I assume.

ABILITIES/KIT

[Passive] - Winter's Huntress: Ok, first of all just no. The idea of having a champion that is two champions at the same time (i.e. they're both present on the battlefield) has been debated by others for quite some time now. It simply doesn't work well. And you've bunched all of this info into one passive. Of all the passives in the game, this is quite possibly the most overloaded. Let's break it down by section, so that I can clarify.

Frost, the Ice Wolf - Frost, if anything, should be treated as a pet or a minion and NOT as another champion. I explained why above. Moving on...

So you're telling me that Lyn just has this extra champion following her around and giving her essentially double the base damage she has? Not only does that make her impossible to 1v1 unless you're ridiculously ahead or have built Armor to counter her, but Frost can also block things like skillshots and absorb champion autoattacks. It's like Tibbers, but at least Tibbers goes away after a set duration and dies really easily. Frost essentially turns your team into a team of 6 since you can control him independently. PLUS you mentioned that they share healing which is pretty dumb (she just uses Heal on him and they both get 1.5-ish times the effect) AND she can channel for 5 seconds when he dies to revive him. You didn't say a health amount so I'll just assume full health. 5 seconds is absolutely nothing if you successfully drive your lane opponent away which you probably already did since you have two sets of abilities and auto attacks to nuke someone with.

Bond of Friendship - First of all, what is this supposed to look like and SECOND OF ALL this item is practically useless from a gameplay standpoint. Disregarding the fact that it makes her stupid powerful in the late game, this item apparently gives no stats so having it take up an item slot makes you lose out on that special 6th item which usually completes an item build. That's options removed, and I don't like it when that's the case in any champion concept.

Winter's Huntress - Hey look, the actual passive that the passive is named for comes to light. That's something at least. I don't quite like that she uses a gun apparently when other Freljord (Frelijord?) champions probably never really knew what a firearm was until joining the Institute of War. Also why 120? That's a hell of a lot of bullets, and you'd have to blow 120 auto attacks in lane or in the team-fighting phase without going back to go Scavenger, making this passive nothing but fuel for her R, which I get to do next.

[R] - Re-Arm: Since this ability comes next in your list for some reason, I'll do it. Oh and just so that I can get rid of any doubt prior to speaking; this ability is busted. Even if you have to get it at level 6, it is super easy to just play safe until then and you hit this massive and ungodly power spike. Not only do you reclaim all your Shells as Bullets, but you also refresh your basic and item cool downs AND refresh the duration of buffs on her.

What. The. Fuck.

Sarcasm aside, this ability is super busted because not only does it refresh all of her basic cooldowns and the cooldowns on her items, but it also replenishes her bullets and the duration of buffs on her. Red and Blue buff last for more than 40 seconds, making this ability stupid at rank 3 because you just won't ever lose those buffs if you play smart and use your ult. I would highly recommend just...removing this ability or changing it drastically. Oh yeah, and the upgrades you buy for Bond of Friendship make this ability cooldown 20 seconds, which is fun because then it's basically just a basic ability.

And I haven't even gotten to her other abilities.

[All of Lyn's Abilities in a Nutshell] - OVERVIEW: Her Q is useless but utterly spammable, her W is busted (it applies a freaking 50% slow per hit up to 15 times), and her E is situationally good or bad dependent on how close you are to kill them. And then we have Scavenger form, where the same things are mostly true: Her Q is only alright except for the ridiculous amount of time it slows people, her W is really really busted (that's a ton of damage in a cone area) and doesn't make any sense (where the hell is she getting a scrap gun from in a frozen freaking wasteland????), and her E is only alright.

I highly suggest picking a theme for this champion and trying to meet that, because right now it just feels like Lyn is a plethora of other ideas mushed into one massive concept that ends up being overloaded, and either busted or only mediocre DESPITE how overloaded everything is.

Because there's a character limit I'm having to summarize too, which isn't necessarily fun. But this is thanks to your overloaded kit.

[All of Frost's Abilities in a Nutshell] - OVERVIEW: His Q is bad (it BUFFS the ENEMY?!), his W is odd (60s cooldown? That's the CD of an ultimate ability) and pretty useless late game, his E is alright (gives Movespeed and Attack Speed for 12-20 seconds...I dislike it, but right now it's the only good ability Frost has).

Oh and his Ult, which for some reason he can use even though Lyn already has an ult. You are aware that this is a pretty busted mechanic, right? No matter, I agreed to review.

[R] - Command: Snatch/Throw: Where do I start? Well it's a longer Suppress than Warwick and it also deals an absolutely massive amount of damage. That scales. And that you can upgrade. And you can fling someone 600 units in whatever direction you want them. Thank god you need to wait 100 seconds for this to come off cooldown otherwise this ability would be probably the strongest ability in all of League of Legends simply due to its sheer utility and DPS.

FINAL OVERVIEW

Pick a direction, a role, a type, and an interesting mechanic and base Lyn's kit and gameplay around those. Her kit is so overloaded and either useless or busted that it's hard to tell if she's actually strong or not. She lacks AOE, but what she lacks in AOE she makes up for in the fact that she's two champions and one of them can't really die. So you just use him to harass people for free and revive him when he dies.

Seems balanced to me.

I would not enjoy playing or playing against Lyn. It just wouldn't be a fun experience to go through, especially not since she has an entirely different champion to do everything for her and net her free health to grab a kill or kite. If you want to redeem this champion, and I know that you can, I would find the direction you want to take Lyn in and look up similar concepts or champions. They can help you get where you want to go.

Anywho, my review is over. Best of luck to you in the contest and on the Fields of Justice. I hope your League experience has been rather fun thus far. As always: Stay Frosty.

Gravy Traín11/17/2016, 12:40:53 AM1 votes

I love a lot of things about this concept. The bullet-scrap gun transition is cool, and so is the pet idea. My only problem is they seem odd to put together on the same champion. Your main character has 2 forms AND a pet which you have to switch back and forth to. It seems like it would just be freakishly difficult to control your character and manage your resources at all. The concept is cool, but you overloaded it to a point where she would be a pain to play as rather than fun. Maybe tone some stuff down or have Frost be a little more AI controlled with slight player targeting choice. It would be cool if he were triggered to do stuff in coordination with Lyn's abilities.

Feel free to check out my champion concept, Krok, Ruler of the Skies!