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(Champion Concept) Jong-Su; Wanderer of the Void

catz54··3 votes·894 views

Lore;

Working on it.

Support / Mage

Health: 513 - 1958 ( +85 P/L Stamina: 100 Attack Damage: 47 - 86 ( +2.3 P/L Attack speed: .63 - .96 ( +3.1% P/L Movement Speed: 355 Health Regen: 2.7 - 40 ( +2.2 Armor: 32 - 78 ( +2.7 P/L Magic Resist: 34 - 71.4 ( +2.2 P/L

Attack Type: Ranged Attack range: 550 units

Relations: Friends: Kassadin Kassadin

Enemies: All void Beings: Chogath Khazix Malzahar RekSai Velkoz

Passive: Knowladge of the Plains: From years of training while trapped within the Void, Jong-Su has gained the ability to see further and move faster than those around him. Jong-Su gains and additional 500 units of sight range, and can see 150 units further while Nearsighted While out of combat, Jong-Su gains an additional 15% movement speed

Jong-Su uses stamina, He regains 5 stamina every second, when killing a unit, or when basic attacking an enemy champion

Q: Travel forth: Jong-Su channles for 2.5 seconds then becomes camouflaged to his team and the enemy team Jong-Su uses 10 stamina a second to remain in the Void

While camouflaged, Jong-Su gains an increase to his passive movement speed bonus

Jong-Su can cast Rift Shatter while stealthed, damaging enemies units and slowing them 1.25 seconds after cast Rift Shatter applies a slow once and can not stack it if casted while Jong-Su is under the effects of Travel Forth

Cool Down: 10 seconds Passive Bonus: 5% / 10% / 15% / 20% / 25%

W: Vorpal Force: Jong-Su channels for .5 seconds then shoots out a wave of energy from the Void that pushes away any enemy threat to the end of it's range

**Cast Time: .75 seconds Cast range: 400 / 100 units Cost: 50 stamina magic damage: 100 (+75 P/L damage increase: 75% AP

E: Rift Shatter: Jong-Su creates an area, upon placement enemies within range take a small amount of damage, after 1 second the area detonates slowing anyone within it for 2 seconds

If the target is slowed, Rift Shatter will deal additional damage equal to the slow power Rift Shatter will not apply a slow if the target is already slowed by another source If Rift Shatter is used again within 5 seconds of a preveus use, it's Stamina cost will increase,

Cast range: 1200 units cool down: 1 second cost: 10 stamina ( x2 Per each subsequent used Magic Damage: 60 - 140 (+10 P/L Damage increase: 50% AP Slow ammount: 20%

R / Ult: Parallel to the Void: Jong-Su blinks to a target champion, turning them and himself invisible to both teams, and invulnerable to all damage for 4 seconds

while invisible, the selected champion gains Jong-Su's passive movement speed as well as the bonus granted from Travel Forth While invisible, Jung-Su and his ally are still affected by Light CC and Hard CC effects and can still activate traps If he or his selected ally attacks or use an ability, the Invisibility and Invulnerability are a canceled out

Cool Down: 200 seconds (-35 P/L

Changes last made:

Q: Added the ability to cast his E while Camouflaged

W: Changed cast time From: .75 To: .5

R: Added the effect that removes the players buffs if they attack

5 Comments

You Disgust Me2 votes

Hey man, interesting concept, but I have a few problems with your descriptions, particularly your wordings for the Q and the R. You probably should avoid saying words/phrases such as "unseeable"/"invisible to his team." For the first word, I suggest being more specific (camouflage/invisible). It helps to be less vague. Secondly, for the latter phrase, I don't think anyone wants their teammates to be completely invisible. Players need to see where their teammates are in order to coordinate attacks. You should probably rephrase this better.

Otherwise, here are some critiques about this champion's kit:

Passive:

  • The bonus vision is great, but it doesn't seem to synergize well with the rest of his kit as he doesn't have any skillshots to land from range or the controller skill capabilities.
  • The gaining permanent 20 Stamina mechanic should be removed. This mechanic leads to a very inconsistent gaming experience. I recommend keeping the max Stamina at 100. That way it pushes players to focus more on their gameplay and objectives rather than focusing on kills.

Q:

  • I don't have much of a problem with this skill. However, with the amount of utility this champion has, especially his W, it should probably be Camouflage rather than Invisibility.

W:

  • This seems like a weirdly worded version of Orianna ult. What do you mean by "relocated"? Do you mean displaced or warped?
  • Honestly, I don't think this skill should be in this kit considering how high it's utility is and it feels a bit out of place. It seems more like an ultimate ability rather than a basic one.

E:

  • Sounds a lot like Rumble's E. But, 2.5 seconds on a slow is a bit overkill, especially one that is on a 1 second cooldown. The duration needs to be lowered significantly to compensate the fact that it does do damage and has a stacking slow with a low cooldown. I'm assuming that this is his primary harass/trading tool so I recommend you should probably increase the initial Stamina cost on this skill. Though I recommend adding another damaging skill, such as changing his W to something else. Right now, his kit feels very linear.

R:

  • The largest problem I have with this champion's kit is his R. The utility and duration are extremely outrageous. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of giving another champion stealth, but it shouldn't have the bonuses of Kayle ult, especially for 7 seconds.

TLDR; Interesting concept, but it needs some heavy nerfs and QoL changes.

DemoBama

You wouldn't mind me talking on behalf of Catz54, would you? I'm friends with him and the Co-Creator of this champion (and by co creator i mean the guy who designed his kit)

You Disgust Me1 votes

I don't mind.

To be honest, I wouldn't mind knowing how this champion's gameplay style works. Usually, people who make Champion Concepts forget about this factor, and the skills usually come out a bit out of place and clunky. The skills end up not flowing very well, and turn out pretty linear. I feel understanding the author's perspective and vision aids in interpreting the ideal champion design. Please share your thoughts.

DemoBama

Originally, he wanted it to be this, scout kind of guy who goes ahead and looks around and such, who was also supposed to be able to work well in close ranged combat, but i talked him out of the close range thing do to it not fitting the character origin.

He was supposed to be the kind of guy who get's his ADC out of combat when things got too bad, hence his ult and his out of place push thing and his over the top ultimate.

Honestly i enjoyed how he was before the slight tweaks, i liked the push ability that could take everyone around him and send them to the small position ahead of him, but, since it would and could be considered over powered, it had to be changed, and i wanted to keep things as close to what he wanted.

Also the "Unseeable, untargetable, and unharmable" thing was there since i thought it sound nice. Rolls off the tongue if you ask me.

You Disgust Me1 votes

Sorry if my posts tend to extremely long. I try to cover as many points as possible to provoke critical thought and explore multiple paths of gameplay. If my criticism seems a bit harsh, I apologize in advance. It's because I'm looking at champion designs through the enemy's point of view rather than the player's.

Ah, now I see what you mean. You want a roaming stealthy disengager type of champion. This concept has been experimented on before but only in terms of traps (e.g. Teemo/Shaco) and to a degree Evelynn.

If that's the case, then the original W's utility had a rather core purpose to the kit if you wanted an engager/disengager like Gnar. The original reason I recommended the change to the W was due to the fact that it could be easily combo'd with the Q's "invisibility" which had no counterplay. With such an extended stealth duration, enemy players wouldn't be able to see the attack coming, which is why I recommended "camouflage".

With your description, I'm guessing the general playstyle would be as follows:

  • **All-in: (OLD) ** You go in with Q, get into the enemy team, use W, then activate and spam E. However this playstyle is a bit odd since you are a rather squishy mage, and you'll probably be focused down immediately, which is why you have your ult. Interesting as it adds to a rather high risk high reward kind of playstyle...
  • Laning: Harass enemy laners with E and auto attacks, use W/R for disengage.

As for the current changes.

  • W: I'm not sure about the current W. It seems a bit like Syndra's E. But I mean it does its job. I could see you pushing enemies into the E's slow, which adds some synergy and combo potential.
  • E: I like the new E; it adds some heavy lane and zoning/harassing pressure. This alone has some heavy disengage/kiting potential, making enemies choose before fully committing to a fight. However, the slow is a bit too minimal to be effective. Since you added a rather fair delay to the activation of the slow, it wouldn't hurt to re-add the stacking slow mechanic. The increase to 10 base stamina cost is fair as the skill can only be used 3 or so times before running out of stamina. However, as this skill stands, it still feels pretty linear playstyle until they engage. You probably want to add some diversity in gameplay and add use to the other skills. Also you should probably state how big the area is for his E.
  • Just a recommendation, maybe you can add an effect on the Q, it feels a bit empty atm. Maybe you can allow players to cast E while in camouflage/stealth, but it has an activation delay and is visually telegraphed before it activates. (IDK) Feel free to experiment, stealth can be used offensively and defensively, and adds a huge variety in gameplay; especially in terms of outplay.
  • R: The R is still overloaded. Its invincibility duration is still too long. Consider Kayle's ult duration as an example. Remember, Invincibility can be used offensively and defensively like Stealth. Having both is pretty overkill. An example would be a Kha'zix with Kayle/Taric ult. Another note, "Invisibility" stealth technically makes a player untargetable so it doesn't need to be stated. If anything, the ability to grant another ally stealth is already pretty strong as it grants the player the ability to re-position/escape. If you want to keep the invincibility mechanic, why not shift it to be a "Vanish" mechanic similar to Shaco's Hallucinate or LeBlanc's Mimic? "Vanish" makes you and your ally untargetable and invincible for an extremely short duration, but the stealth almost guarantees you get out. It also makes the skill feel very situational and very fair. However, the only problem afterward is how to make this skill fair when using it to engage offensively. Perhaps add an occasional visual effect (Shimmering Mechanic)?

Oh yes. I recommend you add a change/update log to the bottom of your original post. It may help yourself and others keep track of changes and help you see the progress of the kit.

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