Bard Skin?

Can't believe this hasn't been thought of yet: Fraternity Bard, a.k.a. Brad. He wears a letter jacket and carries around a (cricket bat? He's Ivy League). His meeps can be groupies (eh probably not maybe pop cans tumbling around behind him) I guess he'd be wearing a hockey mask instead of a wall socket. Idea isn't fully fleshed out, but I need a good reason to call him Brad