Dianli - The Electrifying Personality [Champion Concept]

MrFluffyPuffy··9 votes·2,335 views

Role: Marksman


Lore: Dianli is one of the lost children of Zaun. Her parents were killed when she was fourteen years old. Without having any relatives and the people of Zaun claiming the property of her family for themselves, she took as much as possible and ran away. She met the other lost children soon and befriended her with them after a comparative long time. She gives her best to protect the younger kids of the group from the daily danger of the city. But she has a hard time doing so because of the nature of the city. She is optimistic and plans to get involved in politics to make significant, but she still has trust issues to other people which make her life even with her group sometimes hard.


Appearance: She is a teenager (age 16-18) and wears a light/easy/simple armor/uniform (unlike Vi with her heavy armor) (->doesn´t mean she shows much skin). ->She bought most of her armor with the money she has taken, other parts could be parts of her parents old clothes/uniforms (her familiy was a bit wealthy but not that rich), while she has made the missing parts by herself (some parts of the armor don´t fit visual to the others, but overall it seems like consistent armor/uniform). She has two copper plated gloves (they aren´t that big or heavy; they look more like bicycle gloves). http://orig15.deviantart.net/9c99/f/2013/189/1/a/asami_sato_by_thefenrir-d6cm4ef.jpg (by "charlestanart" on deviant art)



Passive (Electrifying): Dianli shoots with electricity instead of normal autoattacks. She shoots an electric beam on the enemy and stays connected with him/her/it for 10 seconds. She deals damage every 1.5 seconds and buying attack speed decreases the length of the interval between causing damage. It caps at dealing damage every 0.5 seconds. She needs to be in attack range to her target, but after she connected with a target the electic beam has a range of 600 units. Her autoattacks deal 20% magic and 80% physical damage.

She can cancel the beam through another autoattack command (on the same/different target) or an attack move command. If she cancel the beam or it lasted 10 seconds, then she reloads her gloves for 2 seconds or shorter (depends on the length of the autoattack -> if she cancel it instant, the reload time is 0 seconds long; if she cancel it after 1 second, the reload time is 0.25 seconds). Attack speed reduces the reloading time. The reduction through attack speed caps at 1 second reloading time.

Critcial strike chance gives her electric beams the possibility to do more overall damage. Instead of using a critical strike she does x% more damage as long as the beam lasts.

  • 5 energy

Q (Shocker): Dianli shoots two copper plated ropes with barbs out of her left and right arm armor/uniform in the direction of the mouse cursor. Those two ropes go through minion to the maximum length. They can execute minions with less than 70 health points. They can´t go through champions to hit behind targets. Dealing x amount of physical damage (does good-acceptable damage in early; falls of in late / scales with additional ad). The damage is reduced for every target hit. After they hit their last target electricity goes through them dealing x amount of magic damage (does good-acceptable damage in early; falls of in late / scales with ap). The damage is splitted on all targets.

If she hits a champion directly (without hitting minions), then she stuns the champion for 1 second with the second damage part (electricity part). She can´t stun enemies while she uses her hoverboard.

  • 10/9/8/7/6 seconds cooldown
  • 90/85/80/75/70 energy

W (Hoverboard): Dianli jumps on her hoverboard and gains up 50/75/100/125/150 movement speed. She can jump over small walls, if she isn´t slowed (automatic if she gets near one and the next movement command would be on the other side). She deals 30%/25%/20%/15%/10% less damage while she is on the hoverboard. Incoming damage slows her for x seconds (she loses a bit of balance on her hoverboard). After 10/15/20/25/30 seconds the battery of the hoverboard gets empty and needs to be recharged. The operating time of the hoverboard recharges slowly over 2/1.75/1.5/1.25/1 minutes.

She can jump off by recasting the ability. If she jumps of, then she can stay only for the remaining time on her hoverboard the next time she uses it.

  • 1 second cooldown on all ranks; doesn´t get affected by cooldown reduction (+ 2/1.75/1.5/1.25/1 minutes recharging time, she recharges it if she doesn´t use it)
  • 5 energy per second while recharging (no energy costs if she doesn´t recharge the hoverboard) (stops recharging if she doesn´t have any energy and continues if she has 5 energy)

E (EMP Bomb): Dianli throws an EMP bomb in the direction of the mouse cursor. Which explodes by recast/reaching maximum range and deals x amount of magic damage (doesn´t deal much damage / scales with ap) and silences enemies for 0.5/0.65/0.8/0.95/1 seconds.

  • 15/13.75/12.5/11.25/10 seconds
  • 90/80/70/60/50 energy

R (High Voltage): Dianli charges her gloves for 1.5 seconds. She can´t autoattack meanwhile and is slowed for the charging duration. She can activate it on one target (point and click; R) or on two targets (autoattack command on one target and R on the other target). She shoots with two massive electric beams on the target/s. If she has choosen only one target, then this target get x% of their health points as magic damage. If she has choosen two targets, then both targets and enemies between them get x% of their health points as magic damage. If she has done x% of the targets health as damage, then this target is stunned for x seconds. The electric beams last for 5 seconds and have 500 units range.

  • 120/100/80 seconds
  • 60 energy


Stats:

Health: 550 (+70) HP Regen: 5.42 (+0.55) Energy: 200 Range: 450 (needs to be in this range to connect with the target, after she connected -> 600 units range) Attack Damage: 54.7 (+3) Attack Speed: 0.645 (+3.25%) Armor: 24 (+3.5) Magic Resist: 30 Movement speed: 320


A day with the lost children

It was morning and the sun slowly started to fulfill the streets of Zaun with its light. Exposed pets roamed the streets to eat the leftovers near trash cans. Despite it still being early in the morning many people with tired faces already walked through the streets to get to work. A little boy walked among the people to get to his destination. He was twelve years old and should have sleeped like other children at his age. He opened the door to the old house and put the shopping bags on a commode in the corridor at the entrance. It was an old dilapidated corridor but the occupants maintained it as good as possible. After he take off his light jacket, the boy took the bags and put the food he had bought in the cupboards in the kitchen.

An older girl came down the stairway and asked if he had bought everything from the list. The boy replied "Yes, I bought everything on the list and from the ramaining money I have bought some components which I bet Traycer could need". The older girl put up a strict face and said that he shouldn´t have wasted the money for components which Traycer probably doesn´t need. "But he has birthday next week and I wanted to gift him something" said Rox. "I don´t care! You shouldn´t waste our money only because we have enough of it at the moment! Otherwise we don´t have enough when we need it!" replied Janna (not the champion, just a random girl with the same name). "But they were cheap and aren´t a waste! Traycer searched for such components for a long time." replied Rox, took the components and went to the tiny backyard of the house. Janna stayed in the kitchen to control the purchases and to cook food.

Gradually the other children came too. They all came from different workplaces or missions. Some delivered newspaper and cleaned shoes while others should do the required purchasements or steal tools which they needed. Dianli has shared a part of her money with the other children but saved most of it for herself. She rarely used it to buy important components for her equipment or to buy tools and only a fourth of the money remained. The other children on the other side had found this old abandoned house and let Dianli live with them there. All together they were a total of fourteen persons. Four of them stay at home and maintain or do some other work around the house. One person does the daily purchasements. Seven of them work and the remaining two procure necessary tools or components. It was noon and they all ate the food Janna has cooked in the morning. It is rather an exception that they all eat together. They usually come home to eat something at different times and leave then again to complete what they need to do. In the afternoon they usually have completed their tasks and do what they want. They are mostly splitted into groups of three to five people in their free time and hang out at different places in Zhaun.

Dianli maintained today the living room. She repaired the ceiling and cleaned the room. She continues to work on her equipment after she had finished her task. She stayed home to do this instead of going together with her group to their favourite place. It was almost evening when she decided to do a break and go for a walk. The sun shined weakly on Zhauns buildings. She heared noises from a brawl and saw how Rox and his group tried to defend themselves against two thugs as she went into the street where the noises came from. The attackers looked like twenty years old. They had beaten one of her friends to the ground. She didn´t wait longer and approached the scene. The thugs didn´t notice her and she shocked them with her gloves. They took their unconscious friend and ran away before the thugs could move again. At home they layed the friend in his bed and cared for him.

23 Comments

ßrotha4 votes

I like it! Unique and new. She would definitely have a unique passive that would be hard to master at first. I think if she attacks the same target, it shouldnt come off unless it just renews on the target. Then that'd be op! 😂 Overall, maybe the first attack against a champ or baron/dragon has it happen then theirs a cd on it of like 5 seconds.

Ýones3 votes

I'll give you an honest review here, and here are my opinions:

This champion would be a permaban if it was put into game. Her passive is just an easier way to autoattack enemies, just click them once and you'll just have to follow them, which is insanely broken, and already copies Corki's niche of being a magic damage marksman in the bot-lane. It is also very hard to master and way too strong when well mastered.

Her kit also would only be good at a solo-lane given that she doesn't have a lot of implements that could help her survive a duo trade. Her Q stops to first champion hit, her E is an AoE silence which wouldn't do crap against an enemy Draven or Ashe and her ult is a multi targetted nuke that has a possible stun. She also has a lot of CC for an ADC, so you wouldn't even need a support to hold the enemies down, really.

She would fit into a battle mage or a disruptor better than marksman. She deals magic damage on almost everything, she can roam with her W, and her E grants a silence which is good only against enemy mages given how short the duration is.

Another, smaller points I wanted to bring:

The post is just a wall of text, and it can be boring to read. Maybe you could put some pictures in there that match your character, google is full of art that could help you to bring your champion to life. You can also check ArtStation or DeviantArt, there I find most of my pictures.

And the lore doesn't really tell us who she is and how did she become this gal with an electrified suit. You could bring more stuff up in the lore, or make a short bio which explains her whole story in a smaller wall of text. Look at Azir's short bio for example:

"Azir was a mortal emperor of Shurima in a far distant age, a proud man who stood at the cusp of immortality. His hubris saw him betrayed and murdered at the moment of his greatest triumph, but now, millennia later, he has been reborn as an Ascended being of immense power. With his buried city risen from the sand, Azir seeks to restore Shurima to its former glory."

There you can see everthing you need to understand his past and presence. "Azir was a mortal emperor of Shurima in a far distant age, a proud man who stood at the cusp of immortality. His hubris saw him betrayed and murdered at the moment of his greatest triumph, but now, millennia later, he has been reborn as an Ascended being of immense power." That explains his past and how he became the character he is now, and "With his buried city risen from the sand, Azir seeks to restore Shurima to its former glory." explains what is his motive.

So she is a well thought concept, but it needs some work. Anyway, best luck in the CCOS, and keep up the good work!

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

Her passive is just an easier way to autoattack enemies, just click them once and you'll just have to follow them, which is insanely broken

It´s an easier way but that doesn´t mean it will make the champion broken. It doesn´t increase the damage or the attack speed. It makes kiting much easier but lasthitting minions harder, because it makes changing the target generally harder. Also her base movement speed of 320 is very low and makes kiting actually hard without using her W. But then she trades damage for mobility + she still can be slowed through dealing damage to her.

and already copies Corki's niche of being a magic damage marksman in the bot-lane.

Ahmm hmm ->Teemo I believe he was originally designed for bot-lane before he was picked top (like Blitzcrank was designed for top but got picked as support), which makes him also a magic damage dealing marksman. + there would be this weird guy KogMaw who deals also magic damage through his W (not passively but still does it). So I won´t consider that to be a special thing to Corki neither being this only his niche.

Her kit also would only be good at a solo-lane given that she doesn't have a lot of implements that could help her survive a duo trade.

That is my biggest problem which I need to solve.

her E is an AoE silence which wouldn't do crap against an enemy Draven or Ashe

It does still harm them if used right. They massively lose on damage if she activates it at the right time -> since the biggest part of Draven´s and Ashe´s damage are in their Q which they couldn´t activate for a moment. + they couldn´t use other important ability´s for a moment Also the support is an important character in laning phase and if you manage to prevent for a short moment his spells, then you are more likely to have an advantage. + Also if the jungler tries to gank you (Gragas can´t ult for example)

She also has a lot of CC for an ADC, so you wouldn't even need a support to hold the enemies down, really.

Jinx Jhin Ashe Urgot also have much cc, but they lack therefore in mobility. Also the only safe cc she has is her E which has the weakest form of cc. Her other forms of cc are only available if some circumstances are fulfilled.

  • She still would have a hard time to go 1vs2 in lane. It´s just a naturally disadvantage. + She would mostly lose in 1vs1 trades against other adc since she has only 1 useful/powerful spell in a direct 1vs1 trade (her q; her E is ok but not that useful).

She deals magic damage on almost everything,

That´s mostly because of her electric theme. Magic damage just fits better to electricity than physical damage.

Maybe you could put some pictures in there that match your character, google is full of art that could help you to bring your champion to life.

I actually used an offer from the germans board. A girl offered to draw pictures for the community for free to tarin her skills. I just wait until either she finishes it or cancel it -> her list is long so it takes much time. + I know that pictures are an important tool and I myself like to see pictures in a concept, but I don´t like it to take it from a source. For different reasons -> the picture was made for something else, which means it maybe could fit but it won´t capture 100% of the concept because it was never meant to be for this concept.

-> Conclusion: The biggest problem is still the posibility of her getting abused at top where she has a better match up (because of melee champions -> especially tanks). Is probably weak against other adc like Draven or Ashe (W doesn´t help in a duel at bot + E is weak). Lore could be better and longer (the story at the bottom isn´t really her lore -> wanted to point this out; it´s just an addition to make a picture about the group she lived in). Pictures could be inserted (and probably will be, but the ccos will for sure be over when it gets finished). (Her passive could be broken but I doubt it a bit)

Thanks for the review! (Probably the best I got at the moment)

Ýones2 votes

No problem, glad to help! :)

SlntReaper2 votes

Would this champion be mid or top?

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

Intended for bot. But that doesn´t mean she couldn´t go on other positions (think that if she would be played on other positions, then more likely on top because she doesn´t have that much duelling power which is required for mid -> she doesn´t have burst), if she is better on those. But I still would adjust her more likely for bot.

Gravy Traín2 votes

I strongly disagree. She definitely isn't an adc or a support. She would be a dueling top laner most likely. I also feel like you should make her AP scaling with magic damage. It just seems more fitting for electricity, as physical damage is usually from impacts or slices like hitting, shooting, or stabbing.

Edit: My bad, you do have some AP scalings, but I think the E and Ult should be AP as well and maybe make the auto attack 35% magic and 65% physical(20% isn't enough).

SlntReaper1 votes

K, so another ranged top lamer. I feel bad for those tank mains up there (my top lamer is Riven).

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

Didn´t you read what I wrote? I wrote that she is intended for bot and I will most likely adjust her for bot. The problem in her kit is that her W won´t giver her duel power in a 2vs2 while it gives a good amount of kiting power/ reduces travel time (which top laners probably need the most). Also that many/most (except those specially made for top) ranged champions could be played on top is a general problem and not a specific for this champion one. Ranged champs take less risks than melee.

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

Changes I could think off to increase her power in bot and decrease her power in top:

  • W -> reducing duration time/ movement speed bonus -> buff recharging time/ give it additional a dash/ remove the damage reduction

Changes I want to do anyway: -R -> total ability change (which also probably fits more for bot)

Gravy Traín1 votes

I think this is a great idea. I especially like the tether passive and Q. The R is kind of out of place with the rest of her kit, it could use some work, but I love the rest.

Feel free to check out my champion concept, Krok, Ruler of the Skies!

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

I didn´t have an idea for R. I will change it if I got a better idea. -> I had the idea to make the R an autoattack buff which let autoattacks jump from one target to 3 other targets and deal more damage -> but I thought it was boring and wouldn´t fit as an ultimate, even if her kit doesn´t need a supercool and funny ultimate. I also thought that could lead to more balance issues than there already could be

I will check your concept out, but for today I don´t have time/ stamina/ concentration to do it. I will do it next week/-end.

Gravy Traín1 votes

That chain lightning thing sounds amazing.

Muddafragot1 votes

Worst name ever.

Bobo1132 votes

You certainly have the grounds to talk. . .

Muddafragot1 votes

Leave my maiden name out of this! XD

CrazyBear19871 votes

[slayer-pantheon-thumbs]

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

Changed her R from laying cable behind her and let electricity flow through it to what it is now.

207dave1 votes

I really like the post, even tho it has a few mistakes. <3 I think she should have something helping her in 2v2 trades on bot. Maybe the e can get more dmg and less range or even become a singletarget spell. but it wouldn't be bad if it staied like this. like i said I really like dianli (maybe Diali?) and i hope Riot recognizes her. :)

THE RlVER KlNG1 votes

The dates for the CCOS have been extended, so you now have much more time to do whatever it is you need to do - edit your concept, enter a new one, what have you.

Sylas Dr3gb0urn31 votes

Thanks for the Concept, fellow contestant.

I am going to keep this review really simple, mostly because there is very little issues that I PERSONALLY have found.

So, you have created a nice hybrid ADC? The passive indicates that she is a hybrid, as well as you have the E "EMP Bomb" scaling AP. no real question here, just stating the obvious.

First off, The X for the numbers on all your spells really throws me off. I like hard figures, it shows more of where you are coming from and gives you BETTER room to change the concept.

Your Passive: I think, given how strong some of her other abilities are, there should be a stronger IF/THEN in place for this ability. For example, IF she attacks an enemy that is within HALF of her normal AUTO attack range, THEN she doesn't have to retarget them. So in otherwords, Making them pay for getting too close to her. Rather than ALWAYS giving her a broken, all I have to do is follow them scenario. Your Q. I like the Idea behind it, but as I said before, the X in place of a real number makes this much harder to review. I do understand that you want it to be stronger in the beginning and to fall of more in the late game. That being said, I like this idea for a main tool, but can not give it any real feedback. Your W. The cooldown and recharge time on this ability is EXTREMELY underpowered. I get that the amount of MS is overpowered, and that MAY be why you felt the need to give it such a HUGE cd. However, cd's of that magnitude are normally left for ULT tier abilities, I would recommend either lowering the ms, and giving it less of a cd. OR I would recommend adding an IF/THEN idea behind it. For example. IF Dianli is attacked while on her hoverboard, THEN the cd is increased by 10 seconds for each spell or auto attack received, and reduce the base cooldowns to half of the current numbers. (See how much easier it is for the reviewer to give feedback when you give actual numbers instead of 'X'?) Your abilities in general... Your energy scaling here is backwards. Typically cost to cast increases with abilities and doesn't decrease. I would recommend changing this to either be more clear for the reader, or more accurate in terms of direction. As it is, this champ becomes almost completely resourceless as the game draws to a conclusion. While having a HUGE drawback in the early part of the game. 90 energy at at level 1 is just too much.

So to recap, place some IF/THEN conditions on the overpowered/underpowered abilities, change the cooldown on the W, and correct the Energy cost directions to be either more accurate, or easier to read for the viewer.

Otherwise, NIce Hybrid concept. Good job and thank you.

If you get the chance, feel free to give Osiris a look. Would love to hear your thoughts.

MrFluffyPuffy1 votes

First off, The X for the numbers on all your spells really throws me off. I like hard figures, it shows more of where you are coming from and gives you BETTER room to change the concept.

Yes, it´s harder to show if it would be a ability with high damage or a ability to spam with low damage, etc. But it gives the concept the feeling of it being final, which a concept isn´t. And what the ability does is more important. Because it is easier to change numbers in a kit as a whole ability. And in most cases it is possible to say if it deals much damage, etc. on just looking what the ability does and if it´s a basic or ultimate ability.

Your Passive: I think, given how strong some of her other abilities are, there should be a stronger IF/THEN in place for this ability. For example, IF she attacks an enemy that is within HALF of her normal AUTO attack range, THEN she doesn't have to retarget them. So in otherwords, Making them pay for getting too close to her. Rather than ALWAYS giving her a broken, all I have to do is follow them scenario.

Your example would only add strength to the passive. But I somewhat get what you want to tell me.

Your W. The cooldown and recharge time on this ability is EXTREMELY underpowered. I get that the amount of MS is overpowered, and that MAY be why you felt the need to give it such a HUGE cd.

The problem isn´t the MS she get trough it, because she has a miserable basic values of MS. The problem is that she could abuse the ability to get faster to top + to have it every time ready for kiting in an one vs one. But I could think of buffing the recharge time, by let it charge while not in use instead only if empty. + it gives the feeling as it really has a battery and need to recharges, that´s another reason

Your energy scaling here is backwards. Typically cost to cast increases with abilities and doesn't decrease.

That´s where you are wrong. Energy cost decrease and mana cost increase (there could be some small exception). But I probably used the wrong resource because energy is used for characters which want to use all of their abilities in a small time frame, then back off and then go again in. But since she is an adc with a tether passive she is supposed to do the opposite of what an energy character should do.

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