Kiyome, the Maiden Among the Sleep

Kuzja1··5 votes·877 views

Description: From the title, you can probably tell this is a character who's concept is based on Dreams, particularly the more common ones that come to mind like Flying or Being Chased or Chasing Something. I did some research on the types of dreams people have commonly and try applying it to the concept. I could use some help in making it better though. Here's the details.

Stats: Attack - 70% Health - 30% Magic - 80% Difficulty - 50%

Attributes: Primary - Mage Secondary - Support

Abilities: Passive - Resting Point When idling while out of combat, Kiyome will fall asleep in 3 seconds, healing 10%/30%/50%/70%/90% of the total damage that was taken in the last 2 seconds from the last hit. This has a 1 minute cool-down. You can deactivate it just by moving and it will lower the cool-down town depend on how soon you stop the healing process. (It is said that after 10 minutes after awakening, you forget 90% of your dreams)

First Ability - The Chaser

  • When activated on a target, a monster appears and pursues its victim. The victim has 3 seconds to run from the monster or fight back. The monster will deal magic damage upon reaching its victim but will be pushed back slightly as it takes damage. If the monster fails to reach the target, the monster will disappear. If the target kills the monster, it will gain gold and experience, 50% of how much is normally given by minions.
  • When Fantasy Nature is activated, all allies gain 10% bonus movement speed when moving towards the target. (I find it more common to have nightmares where you're being chased by something)

Second Ability - Dream Catcher

  • Kiyome places down a dream catcher that attracts incoming projectiles that pass through the radius. This include ranged auto-attacks. The dream catcher will take damage the will vanish once too much damage is taken or in 2 seconds. If the dream catcher breaks, an explosion occurs within the radius, dealing magic damage to enemies within the explosion. This does not work on skill shot or single target ultimate projectiles.
  • Fantasy Nature will enable Dream Catcher to taunt the next enemy champion that attacks hit, luring them to attack the dream catcher for 1 second or until the Dream Catcher is destroyed. (The Dream Catcher doesn't have that much health but it will increase its health as you level it up)

Third Ability - Book of Lullabies

  • Kiyome reads a lullaby from a magic book and casts a musical note at a given direction. This musical note deals magic damage and the target will fall asleep for 2 seconds (Another form of stunning). Kiyome is able to deal 5%/7%/10%/13%/15% more damage against the target as it sleeps.
  • When Fantasy Nature is activated, it will also enable Dream Eater which allows Kiyome to heal herself by 10% of the damage dealt per hit against the sleeping target.
  • Fantasy Nature will also convert the targeting from a skill shot to an area of effect attack. (The music note will fly downward directly to the spot pointed by the cursor)

Ultimate - Fantasy Nature Kiyome falls into a deep sleep and separates her soul from her body. For 10 seconds, she then has the ability to fly around freely over all terrain with 10% bonus movement speed and attack speed. Auto-Attacks per hit deals bonus damage 10%/13%/15%/17%/20% of her ability power. This ultimate does not enable her passive to activate even if her real body or her soul is not moving.

  • In this phase, she cannot be targeted by melee attack or skill shots. She can be attacked by homing ranged attacks and receives 20% less damage from them, but can also be hit by ranged area targeting abilities (Such as Ziggs 's Mega Inferno Bomb or KogMaw 's Living Artillery)
  • Be careful though. If Kiyome's soul is hit by a single target homing ranged ultimate, it will knock her out of the sky and take true damage 10% of her total health upon landing on the ground, waking her up from a horrible nightmare.
  • Her real body is left exposed too. Any stuns, rooting, pushes, and suppression takes effect upon her real body, that will also cause her to take 10% true damage after her soul falls from the sky.
  • The soul form has 50% of her remaining health. Once her soul form is killed, the soul would vanish and go back into her body.

Synergy: Works Well with - Lux You want to make sure your targets art crowded so that Lux has a better chance of hitting multiple targets at once with Final Spark. Dream Catcher with Fantasy Nature is your best resort. Book of Lullabies helps too. AurelionSol Kiyome sometimes sleeps under the stars. To help her real body sleep soundly while Fantasy Nature is activated, Aurelion Sol uses Celestial Expansion to surround her while screaming her foes back or even stops them with his nurtured stars. If Kiyome's body is in trouble, Comet of Legend will allow Aurelion to fly quickly to her rescue. Azir Shurima's Soldiers are well experienced with protecting someone as they sleep. Just ask Azir and his Great Divide. Book of Lullabies and the Fantasy Nature Dream Catcher combo will make it easier for Azir's soldiers to continue poking the sleeping victim.

Struggles Against - Nocturne While no melee attacks can reach her soul while she's using Fantasy Nature, Paranoia is an exception. Paranoia is Kiyome's worst nightmare. The Dream Catcher will break and Nocturne can fly himself right into her real body or her soul. Either way, it's a nightmare coming to life even if it wakes her up. It will get worse if Nocturne targets her body instead. Hecarim The annoying problem Kiyome has against Hecarim is that her chasers can't keep up with a ghost who's able to move fast. What annoys her even more is that Hecarim likes to knock her out of bed. She tries her best to stop him but he's too fast to keep up and those ghosts can be really scary at times. KogMaw Due to Kiyome's lack of mobility, that makes her an easy target for Kog'maw to spew his disgusting acid. Her Dream Catcher may stop Kog'maw's long range attacks but Kog'maw does have alternatives. His Voice Ooze for example would restrict Kiyome's movement even more. Her Dream Catcher is especially useless against his Living Artillery. Even in Fantasy Nature, Kog'maw's acid still falls above her. And to immobile himself with Bio-Arcane Barrage, he becomes an anti-air turret for flying ghosts.

Tips: Playing as Kiyome -

  • Before using Fantasy Nature, keep your body hidden or safe guarded by allies and traps and away from enemies.
  • Dream Catcher is best placed over your body as you sleep so that that you will have maximum protection against incoming projectiles.
  • Try not to put your allies to sleep during team fights unless they need to recover and are out of combat. Makes sure when using Book of Lullabies, no one is in the way of your target.

Playing against Kiyome -

  • Kiyome is extremely vulnerable when she's asleep. Take advantage of Fantasy Nature's separation by targeting her body instead of her soul.
  • Don't just use ranged attacks directly at Kiyome or her allies. Dream Catcher will prevent some projectiles from passing. Position yourself at a certain angle around the Dream Catcher first.
  • Book of Lullabies is easy to dodge. All you have to do is hide behind minions or monsters. But be careful when Fantasy Nature is active. The music note will fall downwards at the target spot.

Lore:

I'll provide more details on her lore on a different thread. The focus is on her in-game concept. It's gonna take some time after I post this thread. Once I'm finished, I'll provide the link to the lore and keep the thread updated.

Relationships: Friends - Lux Allies - Garen Ezreal Enemies - Nocturne Hecarim Thresh Jinx Rivals - Illaoi

Skins:

  • Bed Time Kiyome It's just Kiyome in her socks and pajamas. She'll even sleep in a bed when using Dream Catcher. Her auto-attacks will have her floating pillows be tossed at her enemies and The Chaser will have some ghost try to wack its victim with a pillow instead of a practical weapon.
  • Program Kiyome I don't want to go through details. All you have to know is that it's a technological skins that goes with Program Lissandra and Soraka
  • Star Guardian Kiyome This will co-exist with Star Guardian Lux so these two will have an epic magical girl duo once they're on the same team. Like Lux, it will also follow magical girl traditions such as the transformation posing.
  • Shaman Kiyome Traditional Japanese Shaman clothing followed by a sunflower on the left side of her head and a pair of red school shoes. Yin Yang Orbs float behind her and fire a round projectile as her auto-attack.
  • Sand Girl Kiyome A reference to the Sandman, she blows sands at her foes to cover their eyes and put them to sleep.

Quotes: Upon Selection - "[Yawn] Another day, another dream."

Starting the Game - "What is this place?" "Wasn't I just here in my sleep?" "I'm not dreaming, am I?" "Summoner, when you talk to others, try to be nice to them."

Victory - "We won? We won!" "This match wasn't too bad." "I still got it." "Dreams really do come true."

Defeat - "We lost. Oh well. Maybe next time." "This defeat wasn't too bad." "At least he nightmare is over." "I'm starting to lose my touch." "I'm tired. I need some sleep." "I'm going to bed. I have a major headache."

Attacking - "Time I knock you out!" "This is for real!" "No, you're not dreaming." "I have no time for them." "I should have brought the sleeping powder." "At least it's not a nightmare." "That looks pretty tough." "I can handle it." "Leave it to me." "Retaining distance." "Watch my back for me, okay?"

Movement - "Who knew walking is such a chore." "At least the place looks nice." "It was much easier in my dreams." "The outside world never looked like this." "Time to play hide and seek." "I haven't been sleep walking, have I?"

Taunt - "No, you're not dreaming. This is the real deal." "Sweet dreams. Don't let the bed bugs bite." "I hope it wakes up." "I didn't hurt it that bad, did I?" "I can beat you down even in your dreams. I mean it too."

Taunt Lux - "Do you really want to do this?" "Did you at least bring the cards?" "You ready for this?"

Taunt Garen - "Typical Demacian hero." "Big Sword, Big Armor, Big Guy, and Big Mouth." "I'm the villain now? You serious?"

Taunt Fiddlesticks - "Ugh, crows." "Oh no, not another bad dream." "I'd rather burn than get my corpse eaten."

Taunt Gragas - "My parents told me not to drink." "A drink? I think I'll pass." "It's better to have a functioning liver than a fat belly."

Taunt Yorick - "For now we're foes. But maybe later, we'll talk." "I don't like the idea of digging up dead bodies." "You lost people too. Maybe later I'll help."

Taunt JarvanIV - "I appreciate your proposal but I'm already spoken for." "Please, Jarvan, I just had a long day." "I get you're a prince but you're not as charming as my kind of prince."

Taunt XinZhao - "That's quite a long spear. Too bad I can't say the same about your. . . never mind. Too graphic." "No matter how long, you still reach me." "How do you even swing with that thing?"

Taunt Darius - "Ugh, you're worse than Garen." "Very obvious." "At least I have a brain."

Taunt Draven - "You're Drraaaaveeeen me crazy. Heheh, get it?" "Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth." "The League of Draven? Seriously?"

Taunt Katarina - "Well, at least you're smarter than the rest of them." "Nice scar." "Ready to dance?" "Nice moves."

Taunt Talon - "That blade's too big for an assassin to carry around." "Don't those blades cut your back? Then again, I have things floating behind my back." "I know there are good sides to quiet people. You just need a little more time to show it."

Taunt Jhin - "The mask. . . it's creeping me out." "If the art of killing isn't enough, then what kind of face is behind that mask?" "Poetry. . ."

Taunt Zed - "You haven't found the secret so I'll give you a pass. . . oh, I probably shouldn't have said that. Oh well, he's dead either way." "You're really desperate for attention, aren't you?" "Those techniques don't seem that bad. It looks balanced enough to me."

Taunt Kled - "I swear, if this guy opens his mouth again. . ." "Yordles like him are the worst." "Poor Skaarl. I wish I could take him back at home. Kled doesn't seem to like him enough."

Taunt Veigar - "Aw, how cute." "It's so fluffy! Can I cuddle it?" "Aw, he just needs friends, that's all."

Taunt Jinx - "Two words: Big Trouble." "I don't know how some guys may find this attractive. Then again, I attract certain men with strange fetishes." "Nice. . . hair? Tattoo? Clothes? Make up? I don't know. . ."

Taunt Sion - "You really need some rest." "Why not take a minute in bed and think deep happy thoughts, okay?" "For the weak? I'll have you know that many of my clients grew stronger than you after a good night sleep."

Joke - "I guess you know what they say, dreams really do come true. It my case, it's a literal sense, and sometimes a pain." "Yes, I'm flat. Is that a bad thing?" "Does this dress look a little. . . revealing to you?" "I'm tired. . . what do you mean I'm always tired? I've working hard today!" "[Snores] Huh? What? What happened?" "I don't snore. Do I snore?"

Joke Lux - "Want some tea, after this?" "I'm bored. Want to go treasure hunting?" "Do guys ever hit on you? I could use some advice." "It's fight time. Did you bring the cards?"

Joke Corki - "A flying machine? I know a guy who's built one of those." "You can never be too old for your profession."

Joke Baker Pantheon - "Mmm. . . looks yummy. Can I bite?" "Something sure smells good." "You're a baker? Finally." "See? Dreams really do come true!"

Joke Ezreal - "I hope you're not getting into trouble." "Just like Ezreal. Always venturing through the danger zone." "Psst, hey, Ezreal, I could set you on a date with Lux if you want."

Joke Sona - "Can you play me a lullaby after this?" "Some peace and quiet for once." "Music. How beautiful."

Joke Soraka - "You have magic from the stars? Can I try it?" "Don't worry. Warwick will never get his hands on you."

Joke AurelionSol - "Oh my God! My mother told stories about you." "You make stars? Fascinating." "How come you hate humans so much?"

Joke Shen - "Have you been eating enough lately? There is something called a balanced breakfast." "Balance, huh?"

Joke Diana - "I remember my time under the moon. It was a beautiful night."

When Illaoi Mentions Nagakabouros- "Naga what now?" "Who's Naga. . . whatever his name is?" "Do you even know who you're talking about?"

Near Nocturne - "No. . . they said you weren't real. . ." "I knew it! I knew it was trouble! I tried to tell them but they wouldn't believe me!" "This is it. My biggest fear. For my family, for Grasshopper."

Dance - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PWC6vUext0 (While dancing, she will also hum the music)

Using The Chaser on Enemy - "Get him!" "Take him down!" "Run while you can!"

Using Dream Catcher - "Put it here!" "Over here!"

Using Fantasy Nature - "Up up and away!" "It's time. . ." "Dream land!"

Passive activates - "Need. . . rest. . ." "So tired. . ." "Must. . . Sleep. . ." "[Snores]"

Under the effects of Paranoia - "Eek! What was that?" "What's going on? Where did everyone go?" "It's getting dark. I can't see anything!" "Hey! Who turned off the lights?" "No. . . it's happening. . ."

Targeted by Paranoia - "[Scream]" "No no no-" "It's after me!" "Leave me alone!" "Get away!"

Death - "Is this. . . the end. . ." "My dreams. . ." "I'm still. . . here. . ." "It's. . . not real. . ." "It's only. . . a dream. . ."

Spawning - "Nightmares. . ." "It was just a dream. . ." "I'm. . . I'm alive!" "Ugh. Let's not do that again." "I need to lay off the sweets." "That's it, no more cookies before bed."

That's it for now but I could use some help in improving the concept. Any ideas you have, I'll be happy to read them. I'll be having another character concept coming soon. It's going to have a connection along with this one. Until then, here's another concept I made a few weeks ago:

http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/GKAM0k8x-solace-ghost-of-the-watchers

14 Comments

Relyks223 votes

It looks like you put a lot of time into this champion concept. It seems like it would be a lot of fun in game.

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

I appreciate the time and effort put into this idea, but I don't think it'll ever make it. Vision is probably one of the worst things to balance a Champ around, and her Passive is really pushing it. Speaking of her passive...so what you want for it is 1) free vision for your teammates when she's dead, 2) mix between Mordekaiser's Ult and Sion's and Karthus' Passives -- in that she pretty much gains control of any opposing marked champ when they die and can use their abilities for an incredibly short duration -- and 3) after she's done possessing that one, she can still give vision but cannot gain control anymore until she next dies. It's like it's balanced by being unbalanced, but it's so unbalanced that I don't think she'll come back from the nerfs Riot will give her once it happens. Q forces opponents to run with little-to-no counterplay, and has an ally-based buff on top of that. It's like Nunu and Sona used their E at the same time, it doesn't seem really fair. Nor does it seem very healthy, causing the ghost to appear behind the target generally means that the only way to not get attacked by it is to run towards her...which generally means whoever she's supporting is getting free damage. I don't know what to make of her W. Last 5 seconds...does this mean "last 5 seconds before activating her W" or "last 5 seconds of her W"? Either way, it's generally Ekko's Ult with the cost of being static like Karthus' Ult -- the way you worded it suggests she can't end the channel, and to be frank being static for 10 seconds is really bad for a basic ability. Her E is a massive-but-temporary Armor and MR shred. Really good ability, but terribly-balanced scalings and bad kit to use it on. Even with your description of its origin it looks like you just shoved it in there because you didn't have an idea of what would be another good ability for it. Terrible R. "Can't be targeted by melee attacks or skillshot ranged attacks", and "can still be hit by homing range attacks"? You're pretty much saying "screw Riven's autos and Ult, oh no a Tristana!" Not to mention other unbalanceable things like Veigar's Ult. Why this is even a thing I don't know, but I digress. Apparently, she gets this for 4 seconds and gets Kayle's E with the ability to screw spaghetti code and fly through -- and get stuck in -- walls. Nice. Continuing about my disgruntledness about her Ult...so pretty much she becomes a useless sack of distraction once a fortunate opponent focuses her down for like .1 seconds. And apparently she gains even more vision while flying, a whole map of it. Because the Fog of War apparently doesn't exist for a single champ and that's okay. And they can see her, but only her, because that's balanced. Quotes have less originality and relation than Taliyah's, but then again so does her kit so it's not much of a big deal. Her taunts make her look like a Mary-Sue, and her relation to Aurelion Sol is kind of pathetic (he's an ancient Star Dragon, not a dream forger, and Sol kind of hates humans so I think it's a one-way relationship here), I think the only thing I like about her is her premise. She's a champ based around sleep and dreams, but the only thing I'm seeing from her kit is she's a narcoleptic banshee who has out-of-body experiences. One idea I'm suggesting is maybe having her kit based around "routine". She wakes, she sleeps, she dreams, she wakes, etc. While she's awake she does something, while she's asleep she does something else, perhaps she can dream in both states but her dreaming is weaker while she's awake...see where I'm going? Your ideas have to be tied in with each other and they have to be balanced around that premise you're going with. I wish you all the luck in the world with your idea, but I'm just not seeing it with your current draft.

Kuzja11 votes

[{quoted}](name=Milodic Mellodi,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=aK0JqAr5,comment-id=0001,timestamp=2016-09-13T09:14:41.659+0000)

I appreciate the time and effort put into this idea, but I don't think it'll ever make it. Vision is probably one of the worst things to balance a Champ around, and her Passive is really pushing it. Speaking of her passive...so what you want for it is 1) free vision for your teammates when she's dead, 2) mix between Mordekaiser's Ult and Sion's and Karthus' Passives -- in that she pretty much gains control of any opposing marked champ when they die and can use their abilities for an incredibly short duration -- and 3) after she's done possessing that one, she can still give vision but cannot gain control anymore until she next dies. It's like it's balanced by being unbalanced, but it's so unbalanced that I don't think she'll come back from the nerfs Riot will give her once it happens. Q forces opponents to run with little-to-no counterplay, and has an ally-based buff on top of that. It's like Nunu and Sona used their E at the same time, it doesn't seem really fair. Nor does it seem very healthy, causing the ghost to appear behind the target generally means that the only way to not get attacked by it is to run towards her...which generally means whoever she's supporting is getting free damage. I don't know what to make of her W. Last 5 seconds...does this mean "last 5 seconds before activating her W" or "last 5 seconds of her W"? Either way, it's generally Ekko's Ult with the cost of being static like Karthus' Ult -- the way you worded it suggests she can't end the channel, and to be frank being static for 10 seconds is really bad for a basic ability. Her E is a massive-but-temporary Armor and MR shred. Really good ability, but terribly-balanced scalings and bad kit to use it on. Even with your description of its origin it looks like you just shoved it in there because you didn't have an idea of what would be another good ability for it. Terrible R. "Can't be targeted by melee attacks or skillshot ranged attacks", and "can still be hit by homing range attacks"? You're pretty much saying "screw Riven's autos and Ult, oh no a Tristana!" Not to mention other unbalanceable things like Veigar's Ult. Why this is even a thing I don't know, but I digress. Apparently, she gets this for 4 seconds and gets Kayle's E with the ability to screw spaghetti code and fly through -- and get stuck in -- walls. Nice. Continuing about my disgruntledness about her Ult...so pretty much she becomes a useless sack of distraction once a fortunate opponent focuses her down for like .1 seconds. And apparently she gains even more vision while flying, a whole map of it. Because the Fog of War apparently doesn't exist for a single champ and that's okay. And they can see her, but only her, because that's balanced. Quotes have less originality and relation than Taliyah's, but then again so does her kit so it's not much of a big deal. Her taunts make her look like a Mary-Sue, and her relation to Aurelion Sol is kind of pathetic (he's an ancient Star Dragon, not a dream forger, and Sol kind of hates humans so I think it's a one-way relationship here), I think the only thing I like about her is her premise. She's a champ based around sleep and dreams, but the only thing I'm seeing from her kit is she's a narcoleptic banshee who has out-of-body experiences. One idea I'm suggesting is maybe having her kit based around "routine". She wakes, she sleeps, she dreams, she wakes, etc. While she's awake she does something, while she's asleep she does something else, perhaps she can dream in both states but her dreaming is weaker while she's awake...see where I'm going? Your ideas have to be tied in with each other and they have to be balanced around that premise you're going with. I wish you all the luck in the world with your idea, but I'm just not seeing it with your current draft.

Thanks for the feed back. I did a lot of changes with the concept. Take a look and see if you need anything else.

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

Passive is balanced and fits with her premise, good job. Assuming she's a daydreamer, something like falling asleep to regain health based on time is a really nice passive as long as she can still move -- because having a manditory self-root as a passive would be very bad for a Support. I would make the scalings somewhat lower, though, because one could build her as a Tank and completely negate burst damage from things like ganks or the simple ADC all-in. Still, I like it a lot and it has real potenial as a passive. I also like the Q. Being able to push the ghost back means that even immobile champs can deal with it (because not dealing with it means they get slowed, and dealing with it means they have to pause which puts their opponents closer). Also the 10% MS towards the target makes her a better support because her Carries can move closer and therefore trade better, not to mention teamfights in general would be better when bursting down a target. One thing I was thinking when I saw this was that maybe the ghost can gain more speed depending on how much speed its target has, but that might be a little unbalanced considering her allies move quicker as well. Her W is pretty nice in that it's a Windwall that takes damage and attracts most ranged attacks but should be generally weak and acts like a ticking bomb. I personally think only enemies taking damage on the explosion is a little unbalanced, but you shouldn't change that for my sake because it might as well be balanced. I do however disagree with the Rammus-esque damage reflection, especially when the ability already deals magic damage...perhaps a massive slow, or even a short stun, instead? I think the later-rank damage growth from her Awake!E could be lowered a bit, because one could build her Full AP and completely destroy her incapacitated target by herself -- which isn't something a Support should be easily capable of doing. I think her Sleep!E's health storing is a little underwhelming, considering that even if she's mitigating damage she's capable of receiving a lot of harass and can be shot down by targeted Ults. It's also pretty underwhelming as an ability when you take into consideration one building her as AP wouldn't be able to benefit nearly as much from it as one building AD would, but then again Riot made Kled and apparently his dismount kit is balanced so I'm not one to judge here. I do think the AoE heal is pretty good, considering Kiyome makes an obligatory zone for her teamfights...in this way she's like a supportive Illaoi, which makes me grin a bit. Perhaps her Sleep!E could deal some extra magic damage with her attacks based on her AP, at the cost of having a maximum amount of health stored. This extra magic damage would also benefit from her pre-rework!Guinsoo's Rageblade-esque auto attacks, which I find pretty balanced considering that version doesn't exist any longer. I like her Ult, considering it should have a max range and max time she can move before she goes back to her body and awakes again. I like the bit about neutralizing her Passive while under the effects of her Ult, considering she's already asleep and meaningfully shying away from fighting after she takes some damage just to regen some health would make teamfights pretty irritating. I do find the 20% total self-harm damage (from getting CC'd and from getting shot down) is too much for her, I'd stick with just the 10% from getting shot down. Though the CC spreading to her real body (in terms of a nightmare she's sleeping through) is a nice touch, and considering the application of the Oppressor mastery when she gets damaged it's a pretty good balance. I'd also think it would be good for her Asleep!self to act a bit like Illaoi's E -- in that any damage she takes while out of her body would be simultaneously dealt to her real body in a reduced manner (this balances the risk/reward for using her Ult, imho). It would also fit considering the premise of Illaoi's E. Perhaps her Ult could have less overall max health than her real body, and her out-of-body self dying wakes her like getting shot by a targeted Ult does; obviously, if her real body dies while she's out of her body her Ult dies as well. Overall I think you did an excellent job patching her up. If you're still in the middle of improving, I'd like to see exactly how much more you can improve on. I'm not even close to getting much experience in what Riot does, I'm a simple guy with an opinion at this point...but I know my Champs. Sorry about how harsh I was before :) I hope to see what you come up with.

Kuzja11 votes

20% total self-harm damage (from getting CC'd and from getting shot down) is too much for her

20%? I didn't put 20% did I?

Sorry about how harsh I was before :) I hope to see what you come up with.

Naw, you can't be too bad cause look, it's good now, right? That's all that counts. It's been awhile since I've made a champion concept. Boy, this one sure paid off. I hope my next one pays off too.

The trouble I have though with making these abilities is placing the stats of each ability like how much base damage it does, the scaling as you level it up, how much it heals, etc. It's a struggle that I don't want to bother with.

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

20% I didn't put 20% did I?

I was assuming you meant that she'd take 10% from getting shot down, and she'd also take another 10% if she'd gotten CC'd. "Any stuns, rooting, pushes, and suppression takes effect upon her real body, that will also cause her to take 10% true damage after her soul falls from the sky." I know the struggles. I recently made a concept on a champion based around tarot cards, and her kit revolved around not being able to see opponents for a duration which added certain stacks of passives to her abilities. It's hard knowing how to build something when you just started. I noticed you changed her E. I don't really like the forced stun, but I think it could be better if you switched it to her...instead of a stun, it could be a self-root like how Zilean's passive or Fiddlestick's W works. The addition of context of the added magic damage of her Ult is pretty great :) Keep on keeping on, you're doing wonderful. EDIT: I just had a good idea, I think. You know how her basis is around sleeping, and her E is a lullaby? What if she had various lullabies for other champions as a Dance option? Like she could just hum random things normally, but in front of someone like Aurelion Sol she could hum a bit of "twinkle twinkle little star". It'd be endearing and cute, children would enjoy it, girls would giggle over it, and we'd all get nostalgic about how our parents sung us those songs when we were kids. It could be like Yasuo in that she discontinues when she moves, but unlike him she does it almost immediately as compared to him having a small wait.

Kuzja11 votes

EDIT: I just had a good idea, I think. You know how her basis is around sleeping, and her E is a lullaby? What if she had various lullabies for other champions as a Dance option? Like she could just hum random things normally, but in front of someone like Aurelion Sol she could hum a bit of "twinkle twinkle little star". It'd be endearing and cute, children would enjoy it, girls would giggle over it, and we'd all get nostalgic about how our parents sung us those songs when we were kids. It could be like Yasuo in that she discontinues when she moves, but unlike him she does it almost immediately as compared to him having a small wait.

Various lullabies, huh? Sounds adorable, music to my ears, exactly how I want to portray her. Perhaps certain lullabies depending on locations each champion is from. Upon impact from the projectile, you'll hear her voice singing the lullaby. The lullaby sings for the duration of the sleeping effect and can be interrupted by cleanses or Gangplank 's Oranges (I wonder how he eats oranges in his sleep)

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

Do you mean when her E hits an opposing Champion? I'm not sure how that will work when it becomes AoE though, unless it just does a random Champ within the AoE. Upon inspection, I'm not sure her "flying" would count as being "Airborne". Unless I'm mistaken, Aurelion Sol using his E doesn't count him being able to be Ult'd by Yasuo, so Kiyome being under the same rules would be free from him. "Airborne" is a sort of Crowd Control, if you know what I mean. One really risky idea I have though is making her susceptible to ranged skillshot attacks when she's under CC, it shouldn't make sense that she should be able to shut down a Veigar without counterplay, simple because he uses his Ult against someone else. I think it would have a Ghostbusters vibe to it, and since her Ult dying technically shouldn't kill her I don't see why it shouldn't have that weakness. Continuing off her Ult, though, I think it should automatically recall to her once she goes below a certain Health percentage. Also, no matter whether she woke from a nightmare or not she should get the Health back and share it with her allies regardless (now that I look, though, where is it? It looks like you removed that part of her E).

Kuzja11 votes

[{quoted}](name=Milodic Mellodi,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=aK0JqAr5,comment-id=0001000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-09-15T07:22:35.252+0000)

Do you mean when her E hits an opposing Champion? I'm not sure how that will work when it becomes AoE though, unless it just does a random Champ within the AoE. Upon inspection, I'm not sure her "flying" would count as being "Airborne". Unless I'm mistaken, Aurelion Sol using his E doesn't count him being able to be Ult'd by Yasuo, so Kiyome being under the same rules would be free from him. "Airborne" is a sort of Crowd Control, if you know what I mean. One really risky idea I have though is making her susceptible to ranged skillshot attacks when she's under CC, it shouldn't make sense that she should be able to shut down a Veigar without counterplay, simple because he uses his Ult against someone else. I think it would have a Ghostbusters vibe to it, and since her Ult dying technically shouldn't kill her I don't see why it shouldn't have that weakness. Continuing off her Ult, though, I think it should automatically recall to her once she goes below a certain Health percentage. Also, no matter whether she woke from a nightmare or not she should get the Health back and share it with her allies regardless (now that I look, though, where is it? It looks like you removed that part of her E).

The E is a skill shot that hits just one champion. The projectile is as big as Ahri 's E I'd make that risky skill shot idea work but design wise, it wouldn't look fitting since pretty much every skill shot goes straight and her spirit is up high in the sky. It would look as if there's a hit sensing problem. I know that's already a weird thing when shill shots hit people who are knocked airborne but that's barely noticeable because the airborne effect is only brief. As you said earlier, the dream eater effect seemed a bit underwhelming. I had to change it to healing just her. I was thinking of changing Yasuo from the struggle list. Give me a moment. Maybe I might have another person who fits better. Any ideas?

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

I was thinking of changing from the struggle list. Give me a moment. Maybe I might have another person who fits better. Any ideas?

Kog'Maw is a good one. She doesn't have reliable mobility, she can get bursted down in her Ult on both her bodies because of his range, her Ult won't last long because he's a Ranged Champ with the most DPS of all champs...the list goes on. Now that I'm thinking about it, Ahri would be a huge counter to her as well. Her E could hit her real body and wake her up, completely shutting down her ult because her real body's moving. Perhaps CC with movement-based effects (Ahri's E or pretty much any Fears) could be ineffective on her real body while in her Ult, so as to not get completely shut out of her Ult? Meanwhile she could still be Feared by Fiddlesticks and Nocturne in her astral form. EDIT: It also might be a good idea to context her other weaknesses. What about Tethers? They're not homing, but they're not skillshots either. I think it would be better if you listed it as "targeted" abilities or attacks, so Tethers and Auras and such could be implied.

Kuzja11 votes

[{quoted}](name=Milodic Mellodi,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=aK0JqAr5,comment-id=000100000000000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-09-16T09:00:19.171+0000)

Kog'Maw is a good one. She doesn't have reliable mobility, she can get bursted down in her Ult on both her bodies because of his range, her Ult won't last long because he's a Ranged Champ with the most DPS of all champs...the list goes on. Now that I'm thinking about it, Ahri would be a huge counter to her as well. Her E could hit her real body and wake her up, completely shutting down her ult because her real body's moving. Perhaps CC with movement-based effects (Ahri's E or pretty much any Fears) could be ineffective on her real body while in her Ult, so as to not get completely shut out of her Ult? Meanwhile she could still be Feared by Fiddlesticks and Nocturne in her astral form. EDIT: It also might be a good idea to context her other weaknesses. What about Tethers? They're not homing, but they're not skillshots either. I think it would be better if you listed it as "targeted" abilities or attacks, so Tethers and Auras and such could be implied.

Alright, I've made a few changes on the list. It should look better now.

Also, I decided to add some dialogue. We'll discuss it on her lore once I get it up later. It's a big lore so I have to put it on a different thread.

Milodic Mellodi1 votes

The context of her passive is a little weird. Like, does the healing start once she stops moving or does she automatically stop? I think it's the former but I'm curious. I'm still curious about Tethers against her Ult. I like the bit about area targeting abilities being a weakness, so Veigar can still go against her with everything but his Q. Even then, her W blocks projectiles so it becomes a matter of timing for him to do anything to her astral body other than his E. Another funny little fact, this makes it so Annie can stun Kiyome with Tibbers' summon but the bear can't attack her...so this makes Kiyome a good aggro target against a ready Annie; however, I think Kiyome killing Tibbers might cause it to go to her real body since he can't target her astral body? I'm not sure why she needs two orbs for her auto attack animation. Do the orbs have something to do with her lore? Was she taught to use the orbs, or did she know how to use them already? These will probably be explained in her lore thread, but I thought I'd ask. That's all I can see for now. Keep it up :)

Kuzja12 votes

[{quoted}](name=Milodic Mellodi,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=aK0JqAr5,comment-id=00010000000000000000000000000000000000000000,timestamp=2016-09-18T00:43:34.086+0000)

The context of her passive is a little weird. Like, does the healing start once she stops moving or does she automatically stop? I think it's the former but I'm curious. I'm still curious about Tethers against her Ult. I like the bit about area targeting abilities being a weakness, so Veigar can still go against her with everything but his Q. Even then, her W blocks projectiles so it becomes a matter of timing for him to do anything to her astral body other than his E. Another funny little fact, this makes it so Annie can stun Kiyome with Tibbers' summon but the bear can't attack her...so this makes Kiyome a good aggro target against a ready Annie; however, I think Kiyome killing Tibbers might cause it to go to her real body since he can't target her astral body? I'm not sure why she needs two orbs for her auto attack animation. Do the orbs have something to do with her lore? Was she taught to use the orbs, or did she know how to use them already? These will probably be explained in her lore thread, but I thought I'd ask. That's all I can see for now. Keep it up :)

  • Her passive has a similar mechanic to Teemo 's. You just have to stop moving for a moment when out of combat then she will fall asleep and heal herself. But as the passive is state, this can be deactivated anytime just by moving and cool-down is reduced depending on how soon it's interrupted.
  • I guess I could make Tibbers as another exception since his summoning is an ultimate. But only when he's summoned, the stun effect will cause Kiyome to be forced back into her body. Think of Tibbers doing a body slam when he's summoned. Ouch. Perhaps that could also apply to Pantheon but that will also be a little complicated.
  • I'm glad you caught that part. I forgot she had two orbs for her auto-attack animation. I'm still trying to write her lore on how she came to be. It's a pretty long lore. All I can tell you about it for now is that an unpopular goddess in Ionia gave her these powers just so Kiyome can sleep soundly despite her parents' stress growing worse as they struggle to make money. I'm going to make another concept once Kiyome's lore is finished. I don't want to spoil the details but I can say these two concepts have lores that connect with each other.
Milodic Mellodi1 votes
  1. In that case, would her Passive be a HPS (heal per second) like Janna's Ult, or is it immediate? Also, there would probably have to be some math to determine when her passive is activated, because just pausing to auto attack could trigger the passive without getting any heal.
  2. With that wording, it sounds like any Crowd Control on Kiyome will automatically send her soul back to her body. I think that seems a bit unfair for something that has 50% of the main body's Health, it completely shuts down her Ult if she gets any CC on her once?
  3. I can't wait to see what you come up with on your lore on that, and whether you're keeping the orbs or not. The other concept sounds like it'll be fun.

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