The Juggernaut Club: Part 24

EbonyBladeJ88··6 votes·854 views

Garen is being led into Bandle City by the hand by Tristana.

Tristana : So, is this an official visit from the Demacian Consul?

Garen : What?

Tristana : Is Poppy with you?

Garen : No.

Tristana : Oh, darn. Anyway, is she enjoying herself there in Demacia?

Garen recalls the "treatment" he got at her hands in the Court Drama scene.

Garen : Oh she's... Loving it.

Tristana : That's great!

Garen : (Under his breath): Pshaw, you weren't on the receiving end of her "Hammer Express".

Tristana : So what brings you here anyway?

Garen : Passing through to Noxus.

Tristana gives Garen a confused look. Why was a Demacian going to Noxus? She then shrugs her shoulders

Tristana : Ehh, to each their own. By the way, watch your head.

Garen : Watch my wha-

Bonk!

Garen's head smacked into the much smaller doorway of the Yordle-style buildings. As he grabs his head in pain, he fails to notice a stone sticking out of the ground, and stubs his toe on it. Switching his attention from his head to his feet causes him to bump his ribs into a stone wall. This goes on to where he continues to smack various body parts on stalls, and other Yordle things because of the differences in size. Eventually he trips over a merchant's stall, falling onto the ground. Tristana watches him as he does.

Tristana : Wow! Never knew humans were so clumsy! How'd you people live long enough to invent tools?

Garen : Grumbling

Rumble sees Tristana helping Garen up to the best of her ability, despite their size difference. He frowns.

Rumble : After MY Tristy, are we, Garen? I'll fix you up but good.

He heads off towards his house to get his Mech-Suit.

In Shurima, at the Void Fan-Club clubhouse, Malzahar has finally given up on arguing with Kassadin.

Malzahar : That's IT! Rekky, get him!

He turns to Rek'Sai and points at Kassadin. But, because of all the time the two spent bickering, she's laid down on a pet-bed, and it looks like she's fallen asleep.

Malzahar (Exasperated tone) : By the Void, come on! He shakes Rek'Sai, trying to wake her up, to no avail Fine, where's Kog'Maw? He looks around the main room of the clubhouse.

Outside, Kass laughs.

Kassadin : HA HA! TOO BORING FOR HER, EH?

Cho'Gath, still seated at the table, takes another sip of tea, and then speaks up.

Chogath : He's currently nurturing a sore stomach, my good fellow. Ate too many of my home-made crumpets.

Malzahar : Gah! When you want something done right-

There's a knock on the door.

Malzahar : NOW WHAT!?

Leblanc, seeing an opportunity, smiles. She steps in front of Malz, because she knows the person that's knocking is Lux.

Leblanc : No, no, allow me.

Malzahar : Fine by me! I'm gonna go find Kha'Zix, maybe HE can help me shoo off Kass.

Malzahar walks off in a huff. Cho claps approvingly to Leblanc.

Chogath : Thank you. Perhaps it's another wench, this club could always use more sacrifices- I mean, Ladies!

Rek'Sai leans her head up and screeches in a displeased fashion at Cho, revealing she wasn't asleep, but just was feeling lazy and didn't want to help Malzahar.

Chogath : You KNOW I didn't mean you!

_ Cho walks off, laughing nervously. Rek'Sai watches him before laying back down._

Lux is standing outside the door.

Lux : Anyone home? Hello?

The door then opens. Leblanc is the one.

Leblanc : Well, well! What brings Lux here to-

However, that was as far as she got. Lux just punched her in the face! After falling to the ground, Leblanc looks up and sees Lux winding her arms as she steps inside the clubhouse

Lux : Oh-ho-ho-ho, been LOOKING FOR YOU! Time to show you what happens when you impersonate my brother!

Leblanc (Thinking): Oh no... you just recovered from one beating, and now you're about to receive another... why'd you leave Noxus again, Leblanc?

Lux charges Leblanc, who gets up and runs, with Lux hot in pursuit. Back in Bandle City, Garen has "squeezed" into one of the cafes of Bandle City. He's very uncomfortably seated across from Tristana.

Tristana : Why you going to Noxus anyway? Don't you and Darius like, hate each other, or something?

Garen : I-

CRASH!

A part of the roof and one of the walls are blown in by Rumbles bombastic entrance!

Rumble : Fear not, Tristana! I'm here to save you from that Demacian Dolt!

Tristana : What?

Due to the roof being destroyed, Garen's now able to stand up straight.

Garen : Ahh~ I don't have to worry about my spine telescoping now!

Rumble : Oh it will, once I'M done with you! Get away from MY Tristy!

Garen sighs as Rumble charges at him

Garen : Why, oh why, oh why...

He being just as tall as Rumble is in his Mech-Suit, Garen reaches over and grabs Rumble by the throat, and easily lifts him out of his Mech-Suit, which continues to run and then trips over a table, crashing into the opposite wall of the cafe.

Rumble : GLURCK!

Garen shakes Rumble violently.

Garen : WHY IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE DOES EVERYONE THINK THE REASON I COME TO ANOTHER COUNTRY IS TO STEAL THEIR GIRL!? THIS IS REALLY GETTING OLD! KATARINA AND I ARE NOT BREAKING UP, WE ARE NOT HAVING RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT OUT TO STEAL ANYONE ELSE'S GIRLFRIEND!

Tristana : What makes him think I'M his girlfriend anyway? We haven't even done anything together, except that one Pentakill concert. Even then, he wasn't as into it as I was.

Garen : ALL I WANT TO DO, IS GET BACK TO NOXUS AND GET MY FREAKING JUGGERNAUT CLUB MEMBERSHIP BACK! THAT'S ALL!

He drops Rumble to the ground, and looks at Tristana as he breathes hard, whose eyes are widened in surprise. She then calms down.

Tristana : Well why didn't you say so in the first place? We could have avoided this little misunderstanding!

Rumble : Coughs as he tries to stand up L-Little? Wh-what about my mech-suit? A-And what about the damage to the Cafe thanks to Justice-Dolt- OW!

Garen bopped him on the head with a fist when he said "Justice-Dolt".

Tristana : You're the one that caused the structural damage. YOU will be paying for it! Or Teemo's gonna be knocking on your door.

Rumble is visibly disturbed by that possibility. Outside, Corki, who is patrolling the skies of Bandle City, sees the destruction wrought on the cafe building.

Corki : We got ourselves a potential bogey! Time for a sortie!

He dives in the direction of the cafe.

To Be Continued...

13 Comments

LostFr0st2 votes

Cho walks off, laughing nervously. Rek'Sai watches him before laying back down.

lol

Lux being a real boss in this one. Go Lux! (feels strange to cheer for her tbh...)

Garen finally not holding back. Was wondering when he'd snap.

Rumble is visibly disturbed by that possibility.

Stay strong Rumble.

and why do I not trust Corki at all...

EbonyBladeJ882 votes

Well, it IS stated that Cho and other more "civilized" Void Monsters fear Rekky, as she's a more animal-like/feral Void being.


She's found her next target. https://img00.deviantart.net/5fd7/i/2016/341/e/2/dark_elementalist_lux_wallpaper_by_raikoart-daqucuy.png (This was the closest thing I could find to an evil smile for Lux)


Beware, Bandle City might go up in flames... http://leagueofpictures.altervista.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Garen-League-of-Legends-Fan-Art-190116.jpg (If the image doesn't show, let me know and I'll try updating the link)


NO-ONE IS STRONGER THAN TEEMO! https://i.giphy.com/media/l1KVa93IdKtyWN9YY/giphy.gif


It's his mustache, isn't it? He always makes ME think of Snidely Whiplash. https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/deathbattlefanon/images/4/4d/Snidely_Whiplash.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170117020409

LostFr0st1 votes

{quoted}

Well, it IS stated that Cho and other more "civilized" Void Monsters fear Rekky, as she's a more animal-like/feral Void being.

Oh, I don't doubt it. It was just funny watching it in my head.


She's found her next target.

O.O


Beware, Bandle City might go up in flames...

No QQ you just made me remember the fur ignites quote. That's too sad for here...


NO-ONE IS STRONGER THAN TEEMO!

I think I'll keep picturing him getting kicked like a football :P


It's his mustache, isn't it? He always makes ME think of Snidely Whiplash.

I see that. Hmm, why didn't I make the connection 'till now...

EbonyBladeJ882 votes

{quoted}

O.O

Aurelion Sol was just the warm-up. Now she's really mad, and she's got her target locked.

No QQ you just made me remember the fur ignites quote. That's too sad for here...

Remember, it will be written in a humorous fashion, or as near on as I can portray it.

I think I'll keep picturing him getting kicked like a football :P

http://i.imgur.com/Tqp48ub.gif?nodirect

As a mainly Melee-champ player, seeing him getting his dues was...

MOST Therapeutic. [sg-jinx]

LostFr0st1 votes

{quoted}

Aurelion Sol was just the warm-up. Now she's really mad, and she's got her target locked.

Remember, it will be written in a humorous fashion, or as near on as I can portray it.

Yes, yes. I'm aware... my mind wanders sometimes though...

http://i.imgur.com/Tqp48ub.gif?nodirect

As a mainly Melee-champ player, seeing him getting his dues was...

MOST Therapeutic. [sg-jinx]

Indeed it was. I don't play melees much, but I often hear my top-laner brother cursing about him.

EbonyBladeJ882 votes

The Chaos from before continues, with increased intensity. J4's voice is heard, disembodied from some unknown place.

JarvanIV : And now, you'll NEVER know how the .5 series will end, LostFrost, because I RULE THE SCHOOL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

JarvanIV : Behold the MADNESS!

Various League characters are seen walking around in very twisted and grotesque shapes, akin to the movement of characters in Gmod (Also known as Garry's Mod) videos. They also speak in unintelligible or nonsensical sentences, like so...

Darius tips an non-existent hat to Garen as they walk by one another.

Darius : I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for some RP today!

Garen : Well I think that's Fantastic, Darius! That's the best stack of VHS tapes I've ever seen!

Illaoi's head pokes in-between them out of nowhere.

Illaoi : AWWWHm Open for interpretation!

Inside the cafeteria of the Studio, Mordekaiser is scolding Beekeeper Singed.

Mordekaiser : Remember, keep your Bees off government property! Good day.

Mordekaiser walks off with a large bounce in his steps. Singed is trying to hock his bees off to any passersby, like Ebony, who is the only person in this chaotic madness that still looks normal.

Singed : Alms for the pudgy, Alms for the pudgy!

And he's just digging himself deeper, I swear. Every time it looks like he's hit rock-bottom, someone throws him a diamond-plated shovel...

Ebony walks past Singed and out of the cafeteria and into another hall, going by the door of Lux's dressing room, where Trundle is seen putting on make-up. He then takes a feminine pose.

Trundle : I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright~!

Sejuani suddenly charges the door down, with a beaten-up Tryndamere over her shoulders. She points at Trundle, with her movements growing more and more erratic and chaotic as she speaks.

Sejuani : That's a REAL popular song! wHo WAntS TO heaR oF iT 50 TIMES MORE?!

Things continue to get more and more chaotic, and J4 is heard laughing maniacally as he revels in the madness.

JarvanIV : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The door of J4's hiding place is suddenly kicked in. In walks Ebony, who is looking VERY displeased with his arms crossed. J4 sees him and smiles sheepishly, and waves in like manner.

JarvanIV : H-Hi, M-Mr. Ebony sir, I-I was just playing a joke. A prank! Nervously laughs

Have you never heard of the rules on Peter's Evil Overlord List, J4? I quote...

"Rule 20: Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly." Unquote.

Time for some "Narration" just for you, J4...

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/iYEQN6NJ-the-juggernaut-club-part-25

LostFr0st1 votes

I'm a day late Nooo. QQ I have failed you.

Truth be told I was hunting with my dad. Was very fun. We got a bird and a bunny. ^^

J4 sure does have some special thoughts/wishes for the juggernauts huh XD I'm glad he gave himself away maniacally laughing. Makes such a nice flip into the sheepish face when I play it out in my head.

Mord walk-bouncing and Mr. Pretty Troll looked disturbing. I think I'll stay up tonight.

Liquid Poro 1 votes

Ay :)

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

Thanks. As I've said in some of the updates to others, overcame the Writer's Block just in time.

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/iYEQN6NJ-the-juggernaut-club-part-25

25 is up and running.

As a heads up, I'll be taking the weeks that Thanksgiving and Christmas fall off, so when those weeks come, don't expect a chapter. (I know it's disappointing, but them's the breaks.)

Critmaster Garen1 votes

{quoted} He being just as tall as Rumble is in his Mech-Suit, Garen reaches over and grabs Rumble by the throat, and easily lifts him out of his Mech-Suit, which continues to run and then trips over a table, crashing into the opposite wall of the cafe.

they need to make that a gameplay option. im so tired of his crap, every time i want to go for a minion.

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

To be honest, the image I had in my mind when I wrote that was the scene in The Incredibles:

You know, the one where Mr. Incredible grabs his boss at Insuricare (No idea if I'm spelling that right) by the throat.

This part, in case my explanation isn't doing it:

https://i.giphy.com/media/3ohBVg4vpwb8yXTsXe/giphy.gif

EbonyBladeJ881 votes

https://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/skin-champion-concepts/iYEQN6NJ-the-juggernaut-club-part-25

25 is up!

A little earlier than usual, and it comes with an announcement:

It probably should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway. I'll be taking the week of Thanksgiving off, and the same will most likely apply to Christmas too.

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