The Juggernaut Club: Part 30

EbonyBladeJ88·12/18/2017, 7:28:02 PM·4 votes·1,037 views

In Piltover, Quinn is looking around for Valor, who has vanished while J4 continues to rant and rave over his declaration of war on Noxus.

Quinn : OK, Camille, have you seen Valor anywhere?

Camille : Valor isn't a thing you see; it's an Ideal, a trait reminiscent of bravery. Well, I guess that could mean it IS something you see. Whatever.

Camille shrugs her shoulders and refocuses her attention on the paperwork she was preparing to file.

Quinn : No, my pet bird! His NAME is Valor!

Camille points to the door with a thumb.

Camille : Oh, he went outside.

Quinn goes outside, and there is Valor, holding a now dead carrier-pigeon in his mouth.

Quinn : Valor! Spit that out right now! You don't know where that pigeon's been!

Upon command, Valor spits out the pigeon. Quinn then sees a note tied to its foot, and removes it. She opens it to find it has the King's Seal on it! She skims it over, and goes back inside. She grabs Jarvan by the shoulder.

JarvanIV : -And those Noxians'll be shaking in their boots when- WHAT!?

Quinn : It's from your Dad.

JarvanIV : Ah, good! He's already gotten the word and is readying the army for my command, right?

Jarvan grabs the note and starts reading it aloud.

JarvanIV : "To my dear wayward and bratty son... All the soldiers in the army have been put on Disaster Recovery Duty thanks to that Sion fellow as well as our idiotic Golem protector Galio causing essentially the apocalypse on our fair city. So NO declarations of war until the city is back in ship shape. From your father, Jarvan the 3rd.

P.S. You need to grow up and stop being so petty. Like that Garen fellow, he's more of a prince-like person than you are. I'm sending over the Disciplinary One to bring you home and I'm going to give you a spanking, because Xin told me the truth about what happened."

Jarvan throws down the paper and starts ranting and complaining like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

JarvanIV : OOHHH! BUT I WANT TO GO TO WAR!

As he continues to rant and rave, Quinn is both shocked and annoyed. She's shocked because she's never seen this side of her prince before. She's annoyed because he's acting like a spoiled brat. Camille is just outright ignoring it, to the best of her ability.

Just outside, from a different window, Ezreal is seen peeking in, with some kind of hex-tech camcorder device, recording everything going on inside.

Ezreal : HAAHAHAHA! Wait until Lux sees THIS side of her Oh-So-Wonderful Prince!

Caitlyn : Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?

Ezreal : SWEET HEX-TECH!? Who's there!?

Ezreal turns around, and there is Caitlyn, with her hands on her hips, looking at him with a VERY displeased expression, along with Vi, Jayce and the still tied-up Jinx.

Caitlyn : And just what, pray tell, are YOU doing with Heimerdinger's prototypical Hex-tech Recording device, hmm?

Ezreal smiles sheepishly.

Ezreal : Umm... testing it for him?

Caitlyn pulls out a set of handcuffs, grabs the recorder and then puts the cuffs on Ezreal.

Ezreal : HEY! What gives?

Caitlyn : You're under arrest for suspicious behavior. Hey!

She turns and looks at Jinx.

Caitlyn : You just got a new cell-mate!

Jinx : REAAALLLY!? YAAY!

Ezreal : What!? OK, I can handle going to jail, but being HER cell-mate!? MERCY!

Ezreal motions to Jayce.

Ezreal : Hey, Jayce, help a guy out here! Aren't you supposed to be a superhero or something? Help people in need? Well here's a prime opportunity!

Jayce shakes his head no.

Jayce : Yeah, I'm a hero. But hero-work doesn't pay the bills! Why do you think I went into the construction business with HER Gestures to Vi of all people?! Besides flunking the re-entry to Heimerdinger's Hex-Tech Labs 5 times in a row.

Vi shakes her head at Jayce.

Vi : You know, if I didn't have to keep Jinx here in line, I'd be caving your face in with my gloves.

Caitlyn : Come on, let's go!

Ezreal : No! I said I can take jail, but not being cell-mates with HER! NONONO-

Jayce sighs, walks up and baps Ezreal on the back of the head with his Hammer. Seeing that he had dropped the camcorder-like device, Caitlyn picks it up and stuffs it into her pocket while checking to make sure no one was watching. Ezreal is dragged off by Jayce, who is followed by Vi with the still tied-up Jinx and Caitlyn, as a figure approaches the Vi and Jayce offices.

Meanwhile, in Shurima, Lux has finished pounding Leblanc. And now is... carrying her on her back towards Noxus?

Lux : You should feel lucky I'm not the kind of person to leave someone out in the cold. I'll at least take you back to Noxus. Garen had BETTER be there, or ELSE.

To Be Continued...

30 of 'em, just in time for the holidays!

https://i.giphy.com/media/xUA7b7O3atoEknirKg/giphy.gif

An Announcement!

Due to the stress of the holidays, I won't be just taking off Christmas, but New Year's as well. So, don't expect the next chapter until AFTER the 1st of next year! Happy Holidays, my readers!

12 Comments

LostFr0st12/18/2017, 7:36:41 PM1 votes

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EBONY! [leblanc-funny]

I know it annoys to show up early but this chapter was really fun and I can't hold back this time. Sorry.

Weedbro12/18/2017, 8:00:03 PM1 votes

Jayce sighs, walks up and baps Ezreal on the back of the head with his Hammer.

Jayce sighs, walks up and baps Ezreal on the back of the head with his Hammer.

Jayce sighs, walks up and baps Ezreal on the back of the head with his Hammer.

Are you the Cringelord? do you require cringe in order to maintain your existence? Because if so, mission accomplished. Your enthusiasm is noteworthy and admirable, but you could really use some work on your writing in general.

https://ibb.co/gVF15R

Mordepool12/18/2017, 10:07:36 PM1 votes

Christmas come early 😃

Critmaster Garen12/19/2017, 2:42:43 AM1 votes

ezreal better not drop the soap.