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Champion Design Concept : Wang Xi the Lootus （Please Comment and help me improve the champion）

xXAcceleratorXx·5/4/2016, 7:16:41 PM·3 votes·1,071 views
Champion Design Concept : Lootus The protector of Hope

Ｓｏ ｏｎｅ ｄａｙ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｃｒｅａｔｉｎｇ ａ ｃｈａｍｐｉｏｎ ａｎｄ ｐｏｓｔ ｉｔ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｂｏａｒｄ （ｌｉｎｋ ｉｓ ａｂｏｖｅ）， I saw a comment about how should i improve the concept my champion design so i decide to change some more and also waiting for more comments to improve. I have also notice that ( actually i read it from the comment XD) that there is not any champion has Chinese elements in league so that makes me wanted to design this champion more. I would see the comments and improve more. Thanks for you looking at my design XD ) Ｎａｍｅ： Wang xi Nickname : Ｔｈｅ Ｌｏｏｔｕｓ Age : 17

Lore : "Grrrrrr" I looked over the grass there is a gromp attacking a little cute puppy. I stand there not moving but waiting for what is gonna happen. The gromp jumped toward to the puppy, The poppy went attacking the gromp but it didn't work. The gromp then open his mouth and preparing to eat the puppy. Suddenly the rock under the gromp flew up high in to the sky and flied away. The puppy looked toward me, I smiled, walking toward to the puppy and kneel down to pet him. " You did good. Spem" The poppy bark jumping around me. Looks like he likes he new name. " Never lost hope. This is the most important. Never forget it ok ?" I am telling Spem as i also reminding my self about the past i went through" "Please don't hurt me! " A boy cry out of tears he wanted to run, but he cant. His lost his power to even stand up. The Giant creature didn't listen and walk toward him. The boy lost all the hope to survive and waited for being eat. " Don't give up ! Stand up ! I will help you ! " There is a voice echo in the boy's head. He stood up slowly, but still confused what to do. "Raised up you hand imagining the piece of ground flew up" The voice echo in the boy's head again. He closed his eyes and did what the voice told him to. When he open his eyes he is surprised. He saw the scene that he imagined happening right in his eyes. " Lets sent him away alive " The girl voice that echo in his head again. The boy try imagining the rock move back and it did. The boy rush back to his village and told his parent about it but non of them believe him also he lost his specially ability. 2 years later, this small village got attack by Noxians, The village had no hope to win the battle, some of the villager suicide include his parents. He sitting in a corner in the house waiting for his death while there is a familiar voice echo in this voice " Dont give up ! Run ! " The boy remember that day he escape from his death. He stood up and run away from his house. He ran as was as he can until he met a man holding 2 axe. " WELCOME TO THE DRAVENLAND !!! " Then he throw his axe to the boy. The boy was scared then he closed his eyes. Suddenly his eyes came out with light and the axe which draven throw to him bounce back ..... no is more faster and stronger then draven thrown at him. Draven doge the axe and was stun. The boy walk slowly toward to draven "Go or die" he speaked. Draven knows that now is not a good time to fight with him so he pick up his axe and walked away. The boy remember all the memories before he is born. "So you finally remember Lootus ? " The girl voice echo in his brain finally talked again. " I remember all the things now. Got to stop that "thing", he will destroy the world. right ? Azanesper." The boy smiled and walk away from the village. I stood up and and picked up the puppy. "Hey Azanesper. What do puppy likes to eat ?"

Basic in formation :

Attack type : ranged

Health:616.28 (+84.25 per level) Armor: 22.88 (+3.5 per level) Attack Damage:53 (+4 per level Magic Resist:30 (+0 per level) Attack Speed:0.658 (+3.2% per level) Movement Speed:345

Skills : Passive: Wu xing : Tu Passive 1 : When ever Lootus use a skills he will grant 5% of Wu xing bar. When the Wu xing bar is full he skiils will grants special affect. Passive 2 : Lootus deals Ad damage until he reached 200 ap and he will deal 50% of his ap scale instead of his ad scale ａｌｓｏ ｇａｉｎ ａ ｓｈｉｅｌｄ ｗｈｅｎ ｈｉｓ Ｗｕ ｘｉｎｇ ｂａｒ ｒｅａｃｈ ａ １００% Shield : 30/55／６０% Aｂｉｌｉｔｙ ｐｏｗｅｒ

Q: Wu Xing : Shui Lootus creates 2 waves and then the waves after a short delay, they ｃｏｍｂｉｎｅ ｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ ａｎｄ deal Magic Damage and slows enemy champions. When Wu xing bar is full : It will blinds enemy. Damage : 70/110/150/190/230 (+50% Ability Power) Ｓｌｏｗ ： 14/18/22/26/30%.

W: Wu Xing : Jin Lootus will create a metal spike and knock up the enemy and poison When Wu xing bar is full : It will cause the enemy to get bleed Damage: 80/135/190/245/305 (+100% Ability Power) Ｂｌｅｅｄ： 10/20/30/40/50(+３０% Ａｂｌｉｉｔｙ ｐｏｗｅｒ） posion: 2% of missing health

E : Wu Xing : Mu Lootus sends woods through the ground to ensnare his target, dealing damage and rooting the first enemie that come across. When Wu xing bar is full : It will also ground Damage : 80/120/160/200/240 (+60% Ability Power)

R : Wu Xing : Huo After a short delay, Lootus flew up in to the mid air and creates a huge pillar of flame under himself dealing magic damage to enemy units within the area healing his teammate for 5 second also raining random fireballs outside the pillar of flame which summoner cant control. Wu xing bar is full : dealing Burning damage for 9sec Damage : 175/300/425 (+80% Ability Power) Heal : 80/110/140/170/200 (+60% Ability Power) Burning damage : 22/34/46/58/70 (+30% Ability Power)

Thanks for all of your attention, Hope you guys can give me some comments to improve my designs

[slayer-jinx-catface]

7 Comments

xXAcceleratorXx5/4/2016, 10:25:30 PM1 votes

Amumu

fugertech5/9/2016, 2:04:40 PM1 votes

Quick insert: I don't have the time right now (as in I'm currently busy with something that will take quite awhile), but I plan on coming back and writing a full review for this champion. Till then!

fugertech7/14/2016, 8:47:25 PM1 votes

Looks at previous comment

Damn, many many apologies for this massive wait. I got caught up in school and haven't had access to Internet for the longest time. Well, I'll rectify that right now!

I told you that I'd review your champ and so I shall!

clears throat Alright now how do you do this again? I kid, I kid.

We'll start off at the Lore:

Quick warning: I am a writer so I'll probably be fairly critical about this.

Overall I like the idea of this lore. It's sufficiently interesting and, although it could use some work filling in gaps, it convey's the point enough to be understood. HOWEVER, I'm going to point out some flaws I noticed. First and foremost is the overall lore: there are some odd usages of punctuation, spacing, and tense that make it somewhat difficult to read. That's 100% alright, I get that not everyone is amazing at those parts of the writing task. It might be worth looking into getting someone to read over the lore and check for mistakes.

Also, I just want to say: what? So Draven shows up, acts un-Draven-like and then just...walks away? I mean I get that somehow the boy throws the axe with enough power to astound Draven, but you have to remember that Draven has years of experience with twirling these things around and almost no-scoping people with them. Also, how did the boy throw the axe with any accuracy? He has shown no prior knowledge of them at all, so....how?

Anyways, we'll move on to the stats so I don't rant myself to death.

Stats: Hmm...attack damage and defensive stats look good but WHAT IN CHRIST'S NAME IS THAT HEALTH?!

He has sooooo much base and scaling health. Pl0x tone that down just a bit so that he doesn't out-tank the tanks. He does appear to be a Mage or carry role.

Abilities:

Passive - I'm confused and also the shield is worthless. sigh Let me try to make sense of this. If we're going for a bar-filler, make his abilities fill more than 5%. That is 20 ability casts before he gets a special one. I'm assuming that once he casts the special ability it uses the bar so make each ability cast fill like 10% minimum. Also what in Riot's name does the second part of the passive do? I think I get that something happens once he does 200 AD, but not only is that a teensy number, the rest also doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Q - So like Malzahar's Q, but with a slow and possible blind instead of a silence? Sounds alright, just make it less like Malzy's Q and also add a blind duration.

W - Too much damage mi amigo. Tone that scaling and that damage down, and also what is with all this CC? Most champs have one or two abilities that are a form of CC- We're two in and already you have two DOTs and three forms of crowd control. Something needs to change.

Also why the metal spike?

E - It's Zyra's E (I think) but it can also ground people! All three of Lootus' active abilities have a form of CC by this point. I hope your lane opponent doesn't like moving because when you hit level three they won't be able to.

Otherwise, forgetting the butt loads of CC the damage looks like it could use some toning down for the earlier ranks. Otherwise you'd have just tons of burst and CC at level 3 without needing anything but your abilities, and suffering no consequences for casting them.

R - Assuming that the damage this deals is every second for those 5 seconds, then three things: A) The damage is too damn high. He deals is consistently and it looks like he may be untargetable whilst using this ability. B) The healing is mediocre at first but quickly scales into the massive range at rank 3. That needs to be adjusted if you want it balanced. And C) The fireballs are interesting, but I made this point to talk about the DOT. Scaling with AP, that DOT is overpowered as all hell. For 9 seconds someone will take upwards of 70 magic damage every second, being unable to back and probably unable to survive. Not to mention if they got hit by any other of Lootus' abilities and the brunt of the Ult damage, this Ult makes 5v1ing easier than shitting my pants.

Overall: Look, I like this idea. It's fairly unique and Lootus has the potential to have a really cohesive kit that works well in a mid-lane situation. However, I wasn't lying when I said this needed work. There are too many things that make him overpowered in both the laning and team-fighting phases of the game. I apologize if anything I said upset you; the use of dramatization and hyperbole serve to drive home points I made. Take any of my advice as you will and feel free to respond in the comments.

It's been a pleasure reviewing this champ, so hopefully I've shed a bit of wisdom somewhere along the line. Best of luck in the Fields of Justice, and as always; Stay frosty.

P.S. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS DRAVENLAND????