The Juggernaut Club, Part 4

Having traveled for some time, Garen now approaches the gates of Demacia. A sentry sees him. He runs to Jarvan IV.

Sentry: My prince, Sir Garen approacheth!

: What? Cue his theme to welcome him home!

Sentry: Yes, sir! Strike up the band!

_ He turns to a group of other nearby gathered Demacian soldiers, and they nod in agreement, and run in various directions to gather their instruments._

As Garen nears the gates, they open unbidden by him. Jarvan IV is standing there with his arms outstretched.

: The Crown Prince welcomes home the Might of Demacia!

A huge orchestra behind Jarvan IV starts playing an instrumental version of "No one Ganks like Garen". Garen groans. He grabs Jarvan IV and shakes him violently.

: I TOLD YOU, STOP PLAYING THAT BLASTED SONG EVERY TIME I WALK INTO THE CITY!

: But it is so fitting for you, my friend! For no one can match the Might of Demacia!

The orchestra behind him stops playing and salutes.

Orchestra Members: Demacia, now and forever!

Garen lazily salutes back as he walks past Jarvan.

: Demacia, now and forever, yadda yadda. I'm just here to have some time to myself in my summer home.

The members of the orchestra start mumbling among one another.

"Summer home?" "What's he talking about?" "Why would anyone want to live somewhere OTHER than Demacia?"

Jarvan takes a firm pose in front of the men.

: Everyone, please! He only refers to a small, modest abode OTHER than the Crownguard mansion that he uses for training in seclusion!

"Ah, I see!" "Always seeking to increase his power, that Garen!" "To better serve Demacia and Justice, of course!"

: Yeah, yeah, that's right. Anyway, I'm outta here.

He walks off into the city. He eventually comes to a stop in front of the huge Royal Palace. He cups his hands as he prepares to yell.

: Hey Kingy!

Xin Zhao leans his head out a nearby window, wearing a paper crown.

: Who disturbs the king!?

: Your stint in house-sitting is over, Xin, I'm back!

: You're not a member of the royal family, why should I let YOU in the palace?

: Because it's MY palace!

: This belongs to the Lightshield dynasty, not you Crownguard fools!

Garen exasperatedly runs a hand over his face

: We've been over this before, Xin! J4 GAVE me the palace as a birthday present!

: I recall no such event!

Xin goes back inside the palace

Garen makes a "rolling back his sleeves" motion on his arms

: OK, you ASKED for it!

Garen charges at the doors of the palace

Meanwhile, the members of the Juggernaut Club have now reached the border-town bar where Riven works to stop for a drink. Or rather, they find the RUINS of it.

: Sweet mother of Sion, what happened here?

"Bubbles", Mordekaiser's enslaved Ocean dragon Ghost, lifts its head out of the rubble.

: Bubbles!

Mordekaiser runs up to the dragon ghost and pats its head.

: Good work, obviously the naysayer was found in here!

: Did somebody... call Draven's name?

: Wait... Draven!?

Darius walks over and lifts up some rubble, where Draven lays battered and beaten.

: DAMN IT, DRAVEN! THIS IS THE 4TH TIME YOU'VE GOTTEN THIS BAR BURNT TO THE GROUND, AND THE 4TH TIME I HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL THIS MONTH!

Jhin pokes his head out of a pile of rubble a small distance away.

: Did somebody mention the number 4?

Darius rolls his eyes

: Trundle, if you please...

: Sure thing!

Trundle smacks Jhin on the back of the head with his club, knocking him out

Darius lifts Draven out of the rubble and puts him on Volibear's back.

: Swain isn't bailing us out anymore. The repair fee and your hospital bill is coming out of your processions from the Execution show!

Riven slowly rises out of another pile of rubble, her face set in a very displeased frown.

: AND I'm getting that 25% extra because you promised me I'd get it if this idiot brother of yours did this again.

: B-but Draven needs that money to... be Draven!

: And I thought that Leblanc had cured you of the "referring to myself in third-person" thing.

: You can't cure Draven when there's nothing WRONG with Draven!

Riven punches Draven in the face, knocking him out.

Everyone in the Juggernaut Club sighs.

: What's all the sighing and moaning and groaning for?

: It means we're getting sidetracked to take Darius' idiot brother to the hospital.

: Which means a side-trip to Zaun.

And how did it fare with Katarina, who ran off in pursuit of Garen?

Katarina is seen standing on top of a high steeple on a large building of Demacia.

: I know you're around here somewhere honey-bunny.

To be continued...