The Juggernaut Club: Part 6

In Demacia...

Jarvan IV is walking through the city, holding an ice-cream cone in his hand. He rounds a blind corner, and suddenly stops, and his jaw drops as he beholds...

The Royal Palace is in tatters, completely ruined with some of the building even partially demolished and exposed to the outside air. There is a path of destroyed buildings in the direction of the road leading to Noxus. Jarvan's shock is so great, he drops his ice-cream cone on the ground.

Garen walks out of the smashed front doors, dragging a badly beaten Xin Zhao by his shirt collar. He sees J4 and waves.

: Hey there, Jarvy.

Jarvan doesn't respond.

Garen rubs a hand on the back of his head.

: Yeah, I think I know what you're in shock about. Don't worry, I've learned my lesson. Never let Xin Zhao house-sit.

Garen drops Xin on the ground. He lets out a deep breath.

: Ahh, that felt good to get some frustration out.

Jarvan walks up to Garen, his jaw agape.

: Wh-what happened, my friend?

: I'll explain...

We flashback to when Garen charged at the doors of the Royal Palace

He stops, and tries to open them. They're locked!

He tries banging on them, to no avail. Shaking his head angrily, he steps back a couple paces, and charges once more. He crashes through them with a shoulder-charge, bolstered by his armor, and he looks around the entrance hall

He turns around and looks at the now-ruined doors, and grimaces

: The cost for the repairs is going to be coming out of YOUR paycheck, Xin!

Xin's voice echoes through the halls

: (Mocking tone) Come and get me! I won't pay a single red cent of it! After all, it's not MY palace, now is it?

: You only make this easier!

Garen starts searching through the rooms of the palace, one by one, trying to find where Xin is hiding, and all of the rooms he goes through are in huge messes

He eventually comes up to the door leading to the dining hall. He kicks it open. The room is in disgusting shambles, and this is BEFORE he's searched it for Xin. His eyes widen in surprise.

: Takes a deep breath, then grunts in anger

(Whispering to himself): I swear I'm never letting him inside this palace ever again.

Garen rummages his way through the mess, looking for possible places of where Xin is hiding. He then hears a sound of something getting squished. He turns. Xin is standing in a mess of half-eaten pie.

: Aww, and these were new boots!

: There you are!

: Imitating Zoidberg's retreating noises as he runs out of the dining hall

Garen follows the trail left by Xin's soiled shoes, with it leading to the armory

He opens the door, only to find a shoe flying at him. He ducks and it flies over him, smashing a window in the process

He looks up and Xin is making a mocking facial expression

: And the repair fee just went up, ya stubborn bonehead!

He lunges at Xin, who barely dodges Garen's attempt to catch him and runs out of the armory

: Angrily muttering

Outside, Lux is walking around the corner of a building, and sees a shoe and glass shards flying at her.

: EEK!

She instinctively uses Prismatic Barrier, and the incoming debris is deflected by it

: Phew! What's going on at the Royal Palace?

She comes near the smashed front doors, and hears the sound of another window breaking

: There's another 2000 Gold added to the bill!

: Neener-Neener-Neener! You'll never catch me, you Juggernauts are too slow for us Divers!

: At least SOMEONE acknowledges it! But I swear to Justice, When I get my hands on you-

_ Glass breaking noises, Wood splintering, and other destructive noises continue to echo through the building as Lux silently listens_

Suddenly Lux hears glass breaking close to her, and turns. A pie had just been flung and broke through a window, and was now heading straight for her!

: Ack!

She ducks, and Katarina appears behind her, having Shunpoed down from an unknown location above

: Hey, Lux, have you seen Garen anywhere-

SPLUT!

: Huh?

Lux stands back up and turns to Katarina. Katarina's face is now covered with a mess of pie.

: Katarina? Wha-? How? Why?

Katarina slowly wipes the pie off her face, her expression less-than-pleased.

: Uh, sorry about the pie. I didn't throw it though, I swear!

Katarina just stares at the mess of frosting and pie crust on her fingers. She then licks it.

: Hmm, not bad.

Lux's face scrunches up in confusion

: What?

: The pie. It's blueberry. Not my favorite, but it's still good.

: Shrugs her shoulders (Thinking) Roll with it.

: Anyway, where's Garen?

Lux turns and points at the Royal Palace, which is suffering more damage by the second.

: In there, apparently. He and Xin seem to be having some sort of dispute.

: That's all I needed to know! Giddily giggles

Katarina pushes Lux aside as she walks towards the Royal Palace

Inside, Garen has finally caught Xin

: GOTCHA!

: SHHII-

Garen clenches his teeth as he rears back a fist.

: YOU brought this upon yourself, Xin!

: Oh holy crap, I'm so sorry, just let me get my checkbook and-

WHAP!

Garen starts beating the tar out of Xin Zhao. Katarina, as she walks though the halls of the Royal Palace, follows the sounds of Xin's shouts of pain. She finds the room that Garen and Xin are in. She pulls up a chair and sits down, and watches Garen continually beat Xin with a longing sigh

: Sighs

: Huh?

Garen turns, and sees Katarina, who is watching with an enraptured smile

: Oh, don't mind me, honey-bunny, keep doing what you're doing!

Garen shrugs, and goes back to beating Xin

: SERIOUSLY!?

This continues for a short while, with Garen beating the snot out of Xin, and Katarina just watching happily as she admires the love of her life. Suddenly, the ground rumbles, and what sounds like a roar fills the air.

: Hey, did you hear that?

: Oh, yeah, that's probably Sion meeting your giant golem thingy.

: Meeting our what!?

Then, the ceiling above them gives way as something huge crashes into it from the outside. Garen and Katarina quickly evacuate the room, although in their haste, they left Xin behind to get crushed by the rubble.

CRASH!

When the dust settles, they see Sion lying among the rubble. He resets his jaw-bolt.

: OK, this is NOT what I had in mind when Swain said, "Go meet Demacia's Golem".

He turns and sees Garen and Katarina.

: Oh, Hey! You guys are here too?

Both of them stand there silently. Garen keeps shifting his eyes at Sion, then looking underneath him, remembering that Xin is now stuck underneath Sion.

Sion stands up, dusting himself off.

: So Garen, any luck with rejoining the Juggernaut club yet?

: N-no, I was coming here to try and think of a method to do so, though...

Sion shrugs his shoulders

: Ehh, you know Darius. He'll come around and reinstate you at some point.

: After I perform an amazing feat that leaves him in awe, like the last two times, yes...

: Ahh, THAT must be why Olaf went hunting those Freljordian serpents!

: Yeah, that was his initiatory.

Sion then turns to Katarina.

: What's new, pussy-Kat? Chortles at his own pun

Katarina's eyes widen, one of them starts to twitch involuntarily. Her hands form into fists, and her whole being starts to tremble with anger. Sion is taken aback by this reaction.

: Umm... Garen, what's with Kat?

: I don't know, I've never seen her react like that when I make that kind of a pun.

Katarina reaches for the daggers at her waist, and then lunges onto Sion, swinging herself around so she is on the back of his neck, and starts stabbing him furiously in various areas.

: OW! OW! HEY! STOP!

: ONLY MY HONEY-BUNNY IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME PUSSY-KAT!

: OK, OK, I GET IT! NOW STOP!

: NO!

Sion starts running through the city, trampling buildings along the way as he thrashes about, trying to get Katarina off of him.

: ARRGH! I'M TAKING YOU BACK TO LEBLANC SO SHE CAN PUT YOU ON THOSE TRANQUILIZERS AGAIN!

Sion starts plowing his way through the buildings, headed in the direction of Noxus. Katarina, still in anger-mode, continues to attack him.

Garen just watches all this silently. He then shrugs his shoulders and starts digging through the rubble for Xin. He finds him and smiles.

: You know, you deserved a WHOLE lot more for the trouble you caused me. But I'll call it square with this.

He grabs Xin by the shirt collar, and drags him out of the ruined palace.

The flashback ends

: And that's what happened, Jarvy! Uh, Jarvy?

Jarvan is lying on the ground, having fainted from shock at some point during this explanation. Swain's pet raven Beatrice is perched on a building, watching all this.

To be Continued...