Tristalee Sinali, the Ball of Stats

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Tristalee Sinali is a ball of yarn that bounces around the battlefield with it's many stats, looking for unviable champions to farm off of.

Tristalee Sinali attacks by rolling over his enemies, however he has a ranged aa so he doesn't get downgraded by the stupidity of melee attacks.

Passive: Tristalee Sinali gets double stats, but they are reduced by 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%

When Tristalee Sinali kills a unit he gains 120% of their stats for five minutes

When Tristalee Sinali kills a melee unit he laughs and says "ranged 2 gud" in all chat.

Q: To make sure Tristalee Sinali gets the gold he needs, he kills all enemy or neutral monsters on the map. Also affects champions because 'fuck counterplay'.

W: Tristalee Sinali jumps across the map to avoid getting caught and killed by those stinky melees, lol. Range: global Also deals 500% of all melee champion's health in Tristalee Sinali's vision range while casting, just to make sure they don't catch him.

E: To make sure Tristalee Sinali doesn't get 100-0'd by stupid no-counterplay champs, he stuns all enemy champions for 99999999999999999 seconds.

R: Tristalee Sinali starts to bounce, Tristalee Sinali now bounces to the area of your cursor instantly just like her W, except that all champions in his vision range die wherever she is during the duration. Lasts for the rest of the game.