Boards›Player Behavior

I had a game where I was greatly offended. I would like to talk about it.

nintentwins··72 votes·5,193 views

I was simply playing a game of league of legends. Playing as udyr to practice for when I can have the hilarity that is the definitely not udyr skin. Everything seemed ok. Our mid, whom was Zed, was having an argument with the enemy mid, Anivia. I didn't think too much of it, until something happened. The enemy Anivia tried to insult our Zed by calling him autistic. Even though she wasn't talking to me at all, I felt greatly offended. As I, myself, am autistic. Then Zed responded by calling her retard, to which again, I am offended. Then the enemy blitz gets into the argument himself, and combined with the fact our support Anivia literally admitted to trolling. (She was taking cs from the adc, and was trying to build IE after she refused to get sightstone.) It all and all made me feel very awful, and sad. It was 44 minutes of sheer agony. I have autism, it is a disorder I'v been through my whole life. But it's not just a stereotype saying I'm stupid or something like that. I can be really smart, especially in school. But I can't socialize with others, and I have trouble communicating to people, even in game. Autism affects everyone differently, it should NOT be used as an insult. Being a retard and being autistic are also two different things, neither should be used as an insult. And if they are, it should not be taken lightly. League is still one of my favorite games of all time, I will never stop playing it. But I can't deny the game has alot of toxic people. Very rarely do they draw the line with me. And using autism and retard as an insult, is where the line is crossed. People, everywhere. Please don't use those two things as insults. Real people suffer from them, but it's not a pure stereotype as it affects each person differently. I just felt offended is all, and I wanted to talk about it. I apologize if my rant offends anyone, that is not my intention. For all that took the time to read this wall of text, bravo. Thank you for reading. This is my first discussion post on the boards so if I made any mistakes let me know, I'm new to using the boards and website for communication rather than the actual game. Been playing for years and I just now use the boards, took me long enough. xD Thank you for reading. Reply if you feel the need to do so. I just had a rough experience in a game and I wanted to share it/talk it out. I hope whoever is reading this has a great day! Season 6 HYYYYYYPPPPEEEEE!!!!! : D

Edit: I meant to edit this earlier but I was lazy, my bad. xD Anyway. Thank you guys for all the responses, but I'd rather it not be as popular as this ended up becoming. I don't like so much attention. xD Anyway. I have learned not to be offended by such insults anymore, at least in league anyway. Since this post I'v experiences the same thing again, only this time I have learned to mute them, report them afterwards, and just get on with the game. Now I have learned to ignore the toxicity that tends to happen from time to time.

Thank ya'll for the advice, and for all the negative responses I have learned to ignore those as well. If I knew how to edit the title I would change it to "NEVER MIND PROBLEM SOLVED" or something like that. xD

Anyway I hope whoever is still here has a great day! I'm super exited for snowdown, I hope others are too~

96 Comments

ModWuks34 votes

I agree with you; using disabilities as a derogatory term isn't acceptable in the game and is becoming less accepted in society. If anyone does that, politely tell them, "Hey mister/ma'am, that's not an ok thing to say!" If they continue to be offensive, it's your choice whether you'd like to report the player or not depending on how offensive his/her comments may be.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day as well, and if you'd like to discuss anything else, I'll be on the Boards for a while xD

T RexHasTinyArms6 votes

TLDR; It's not increasing, just shifting. Simplifying the issue just pushes it onto other people, and while it's great to support this post, it's more important to think about why you do/don't support or emotionally react to this post, and what that means for your behavior and ideology.

I'm not sure that it's been increasing so much as social progression is an actual thing. If you consider that anyone using a disorder is essentially just moving to a more socially accepted form of discrimination, then I'd say it's probably less prevalent than it has been in past generations. In the past ridiculing race/gender/sexual orientation was very common and prevalent. Now that those have become more universally rejected as acceptable behavior people have shifted to discrimination that is not lashed out at as much. Autism is actually an interesting case here, because it straddles the line between what is perceived as mental health vs physical disability.

It has become less and less socially acceptable to ridicule someone for a physical disability such as being paralyzed, but as this happens it seems that people have shifted into ridiculing mental health as a perceived issue w/ the person rather than a medical issue. For instance (and I hope my belief here is wrong) it seems to me that the support and traction given to this post is much stronger than it would be for some mental health related issues. People frequently say that muting people who are negative is a solution so people need to be more thick skinned, or that some of the things people consider behavior that is unacceptable in their teammates does not really constitute toxicity or an issue, but just them being rude having a bad day. For some people who are sad/depressed it is an environmental stress issue that will pass when their life changes and they process the problems they are currently experiencing. However, for many people there is a biological component to their depression which makes them prone to ruminating on negative input, so the rest of the game they will focus on a player insulting their play or something and not be able to enjoy the game even if they use the mute button. This is a similar issue to being autistic and not being able to change that, yet my experience of how the boards reacts to the issue is that the reaction is fairly different.

In part this is difficult bc it is easy to say "don't be a jerk and make autistic people feel bad," while it is much more difficult to address the nuances of mental health. For instance, even smaller issues that would not effect many players will harm a player w/ depression who is having a symptomatic day (even w/ meds the brain chemicals have high days and low days so sometimes people are experiencing symptoms even when being treated properly). However, if you fully cracked down on the behavior that harmed them you might be unfairly punishing players who were struggling w/ increased stress in their life and acted in a way they usually do not because they were struggling to find the mental resources to deal w/ both bad news in their life, and stress in the game that requires them to regulate their behavior w/ higher level brain functioning. This issue is additionally compounded by the fact that many people have adrenaline and anger responses that function at higher levels than normal, and so it may be more difficult for people to regulate themselves during stressful events in the same way that it is more difficult for people with clinical depression to be resilient to stress/criticism/negativity. It is a complex issue of where to draw the line about what is socially acceptable and isn't and often saying "this isn't acceptable" rather than addressing the underlying concept that the behavior is discrimination/bigotry/stereotyping will only lead to sliding the behavior down the line. I'm glad this is getting traction on the boards, but people should think about why they do or don't react to this topic, and how they think of similar issues rather than just glibly answering w/ the socially acceptable statement and saying it's all good, let's move on.

lofi n chillhop17 votes

I 100% agree. the increase in popularity of using "autistic" as an insult is not OK at all

Vikíng17 votes

Mute. Report. Done.

KitsuneTrickster2 votes

That is not the point because reporting is not enough anymore, you sound like someone who is doing this kind of negative stuff. The point is this needs to stop!

Vikíng9 votes

How do I sound like I am negative? o.O It's just a simple solution.

MrWasjig1 votes

Reporting may not be enough but it's the ONLY thing we can do. Sure you can tell them to stop but we all know people won't listen.

TheEvilQueen1351 votes

most people when asked to stop just get worse too :(

MrWasjig2 votes

Which is another problem with simply telling people to stop. They see it's annoying you so they carry on. Like Jaurim said, Mute, Report, Done.

thit1 votes

The problem with that, is muting is only good AFTER the damage is done. Which is pointless. Once damage has been done it can't be reverted.

True, muting does prevent more damage from being done but it's useless past a certain point.

MrWasjig1 votes

But how can you preempt someone being jerk? In a lot of cases it can be out of nowhere or something small happens in game and they fly off the hook.

Using the mute all would also fall into what you're talking about so that's not an option by what you say either.

So what would you suggest then? We don't mute people?

Narsicus1 votes

You are right, we should have some kind of system where players can identify other players that are consistently toxic in their games so that they can be removed so that their behavior does not effect anyone in the future.

If only Riot had a system like this, what a huge oversight.

But seriously now, what do you expect Riot to do that stops people from negative behavior BEFORE they act? We aren't in 1984 or Minority Report quite yet, give it another few decades at least.

nintentwins6 votes

Thank you for all the positive responses so far. I admit. During the end of game screen I left right away, did not report any of them. I just wanted to get away from them. And while a part of me feels I should'v stopped to report them, another part feels I gave them another chance. I'd rather not be the one to ban somebody from my own report, I'll let someone else do that if they should ever be toxic again.

Veraska6 votes

Preach man, I work with people with mental and developmental conditions at my day job, and when people use ableist slurs or use those conditions as deragatory terms, it rubs me the wrong way.

These are people who deserve to be acknowledged and respected, don't use there condition as an insult, it implies that condition is something to be ashamed of, and it isn't.

The Patriachy5 votes

I completely disagree with the op. Insults are designed to offend people. If they didn't insult people, they would be neutral remarks/praise. "You are a pussy" - lack of manliness "You are a bitch" - lack of femininity "You are autistic" - lack of social intelligence

People should be allowed to insult each other. They weren't even talking to you. Stop spending your life being offended. You cannot erase insults from the human language.

Hello I am Bird1 votes

K...Kappa?

3ofGot40ve1 votes

I think he meant to type that in after but forgot.. Atleast i hope..

jawd552 votes

Using the term autistic as an insult is literally denigrating to every single person that has autism. So whether or not they addressed the insult at him doesn't matter. They insulted him by implying - through the use of autism as an insult - that he is in some manner intrinsically less valuable as a person. That's what using the term autism as an insult does. It implies that somehow every single person that is autistic is less valuable than a person who does not have it. Which is not okay. Yes insults cannot be erased from the human experience but that doesn't make it okay to insult people in this way, just as it wouldn't make it okay to start using the term %%%%%% as an insult. Which by you're logic would be absolutely fine to do and its simply not. In short, find a different way to offend people. The way you're doin it isn't acceptable.

ZachGrady4ever1 votes

you... are not making any sense.

ModUlanopo2 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Patriachy,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=7oVNimtd,comment-id=001d,timestamp=2015-11-12T09:50:02.680+0000)

You cannot erase insults from the human language.

No one is saying that. You obviously understand that words have meaning and purpose. Why not combine that with an understanding that not every word or phrase is appropriate for every venue?

AntipopeTeemo4 votes

[deleted]

nintentwins4 votes

Figured Id reply to ya. I feel ya when it comes to anxiety. I take medication for my anxiety, but even that's not enough at times. I'v had many anxiety attacks in my life, it ain't a good feeling. I wish you the best of luck man. Have a good day! ^.^

AntipopeTeemo2 votes

[deleted]

nintentwins4 votes

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. Both with the surgery and in game. :D

Nivloc3 votes

Read it, and I am sorry it happened. Also, Season 6 HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPPPEEE! =D

MofoJames3 votes

I'm sorry you had that experience, and I'm sorry people still think that kind of language is acceptable. I hope that negative feedback from the community (and increased awareness in general) will help that person understand how to comport their speech with other people's feelings.

ayNigerianPrince3 votes

If these people were reasonable they wouldn't be calling each other autistic to begin with.

Transgressor3 votes

"We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're offended and expecting us to give a fuck"

(not mine, I saw it on the internet somewhere)

Top Lane Terry2 votes

I got in a game where the enemy mid laner and jungler camped me as lee and yasuo, and insulted my mother for no reason. Like, heavy insults. They were probably on skype.

Anyway, I really hate these kinds of people. I can't even call them people.

3ofGot40ve2 votes

I myself am not autistic, however when people use the insults you listed i still get offended. While i was in some of my earlier school years i made friends with MANY people who had similar cenarios as you. And they are all awsome people no matter how severe they have it. Everyone has their ups and downs no matter what. I often here those same remarks in public and it makes me sick. I hope you and everyone else doesnt have to cross people like that in-game ever again :(

KitsuneTrickster2 votes

I agree with you. It is no different than someone using gay as an insult, but people do not understand how it hurts us. Riot says those instances will not go unpunished but the perpetrators always get away with it, reported or not and that is a problem.

Smoleyoaks2 votes

the only thing that "offends" me about your post is that there are no paragraphs or spacing ^_^. My real question is what does someone calling me autistic mean? As you say, autism has a different effect on anyone that has it depending on severity and maybe on other factors of which I am unaware... what exactly is being referenced when someone calls me autistic?

Dehorn2 votes

you know what happens when you get offended? nothing.

Samus722 votes

When I was a kid, an age where all this political correctness did not exist, calling someone "retarded" was to imply the target was dumb, stupid, or dull witted. Somewhere along the line, that became a phrase that you just didn't say without EVERYONE turning against you. The word "autistic" was not even a word at the time. Or one that very, very few people used. And those that did usually had several professional degrees hanging on an office wall. (Today, defining what is and is not "autistic" is so broad a topic that just about anyone can be labeled with it. But I'm not posting to start a medical discussion.)

Another thing I noticed, even before my chronological age had double digits, was how quickly people started to say they were "offended." Adults were really big on popping that word out there. "Oh, I was offended." "Those words offended me." Etc, etc. Along with being offended was how quickly THAT became the only part the offended party would focus on. They were offended. The entire space / time continuum stopped at the moment of offense. Once someone was offended, that was it. Beyond making sure that everyone else knew the offended person was offended, that is.

Can I empathize with the OP? Certainly. Was the OP offended? Clearly. But what did the OP do about it? Did the OP report the jerks? The original post does not say. Did the OP mute them? Again, the post does not say. But more importantly, did the OP make note of the jerk's name so that if they ever played a match against them, they would up their game and gank the ever-loving frell out of them? Nope. The post does not mention that either.

You'll have to forgive my nationalism (or whatever the word is,) but this is a very American type of thing. Americans will complain and complain and complain about something. But they will never DO anything to fix it. And don't blame me for that outlook. I first heard about this type of outlook from the novel "Rising Sun" which has a movie adaption starring Sean Connery. "Fix the problem, not the blame. Find out what's messed up and fix it. No one is blamed. We (meaning Americans,) are too obsessed with who messed up." And it's quite true. For the last fifteen years, any time there has been a tragedy of some kind, school shooting, child beatings, you name it, there's always a bunch of someone's who jump up and loudly point a finger. "Blame that person!" "Blame this!" "Blame that!" Meanwhile, more offensive things happen with more people pointing fingers.

Here is my point: did someone offend you? Fine. Channel your anger in to something more useful than telling everyone about it. Report the jerks. Go up against them and stomp a mud hole in their butts and then tell them in post game chat "Take THAT, jag off!!"

Stop being offended and DO something about it. Anything else is just a waste of time.

Hello I am Bird1 votes

I'm going to assume that he reported the player. Of course if he didn't then yknow, I get that But also, the OP Is doing something about it. They are making this post telling others not to use the insult. You have to admit that isn't doing nothing.

ZachGrady4ever2 votes

I understand, it kinda offends me when people say that something is "gay" when they mean bad. Hopefully people will just use the correct words to insult people in the future, like "doodoo head", Kappa. But really tho...

o0sketch0o2 votes

I think people shouldn't insult people at all. Period. There is no excuse for rudeness. I am sorry you have to deal with people like this. I honestly hope the community gets better, but to tell you the truth, I would have a better chance at winning the lottery than that happening. Try other games, it's really refreshing to find very helpful people when you're trying to achieve the same goal.

Subject 52 votes

You probably shouldn't be on the internet at all if something like this offends you.

World war 3 begins and down votes storm my post

Seriously though, the mute button. THE MUTE BUTTON. People will always act this way on the internet, go to 4chan, reddit, this boards is filled with people that use words like that. If you get offended and have to make a post about it I feel very sorry that you don't get to see the outside world that is real.

EvilDustMan1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Subject 5,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=7oVNimtd,comment-id=0035,timestamp=2015-11-14T22:15:48.566+0000)

You probably shouldn't be on the internet at all if something like this offends you.

World war 3 begins and down votes storm my post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU

The reason I don't go to 4chan is because I wouldn't be able to tolerate the human cesspit for more than 4 threads. It's not something we should use as a barometer for acceptable human behavior.

Subject 51 votes

{quoted}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU

The reason I don't go to 4chan is because I wouldn't be able to tolerate the human cesspit for more than 4 threads. It's not something we should use as a barometer for acceptable human behavior.

Youtube comments Anything intelligent on Reddit Google plus (Because we all love google plus!) Chan4chan Literally every porn website I go to American culture is based on ignorance and enforcing moral as of recently we have only came to accept autistic and challenged people into society as respectable members. Public schools are full of people like this. You will experience this if you are a heretic of a nation you are in You will experience this if you are a heathen of a nation you are in You will experience this if you are a minority of a naton you are in You will experience this all over the internet

Don't just take 4Chan out of the picture because it was easier to justify the fact. I dislike 4Chan but I'm not about to give bias about the fact.

ApexInTheCircle1 votes

{quoted}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU

The reason I don't go to 4chan is because I wouldn't be able to tolerate the human cesspit for more than 4 threads. It's not something we should use as a barometer for acceptable human behavior.

You're hating on 4chan but I'm assuming you're talking about the shitstorm boards and not the others like /pol/ or /v/

Tract1 votes

Sorry this happened to you, you seem like a pretty nice guy/girl. Ignore them and mute them, and there is a good chance they are on tilt and arnt thinking too well. Just ignore it, mute it, and report them. Dont take it seriously!

KitsuneTrickster2 votes

It still hurts. The idea of it hurts. The idea that it is even a valid insult.

53872273_DEL1 votes

I'm truly sorry you had to experience that. Unfortunately in this life people for no reason get seriously angry if they are having a bad game. Like me. Do I get angry? Hell yeah, when im getting hammered into the ground. Do I call people horrible names? Yes, but starting today I am dismantling all chat, in hopes of finding peace and fun, instead of other toxic people. New Season. New Habits. ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL... LIFE, LIBERTY, AND PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!!! summoner 4 Braum item 2010 summoner 32

3ofGot40ve2 votes

Pre-Season resolution homie :D

nintentwins1 votes

Holy crap I haven't checked this post in two days and so much has happened since then. How the heck did I get 54 upvotes on this, when this is my first post on the boards, ever???? Is this normal? I don't care, actually. But this is too much. I don't need this much attention, it's starting to overwhelm me a bit.

Allow me to continue on a bit more. The reason I was upset is not cause I got insulted, but cause their insult was pretty much a slap to my face. Me being autistic, hates when autism is used as an insult. Obviously because I'm autistic myself. Austism and mental retardation are real life disabilities, they are not supposed to be terms to describe someones intelligence. Even one whom is autistic, and even one whom is a retard in a literal sense, can still be very very smart people. So using autism and retard to describe stupidity isn't even a valid insult.

Sorry if I ranted on so much, but let me continue. You guys have given me some advice. From now on I'll try to make sure things like that don't get to me. I need to just mute them, keep a smile on, and focus on the game at hand from now on.

I see I have some people bashing on me here, but I'm not gonna let it bother me. If I did let it bother me, I'd be giving ya'll individual replies. I'm kinda sensitive, but I can get real defensive at times. But instead, I'll ignore the hate, and thank everybody else for the support.

As for some that said I should have done something about it. Your right, I should have. I should have at least reported them for toxicity, but I didn't. I left the end game lobby without a second thought. I'm experiencing a bit of familiarity with that as well. I'm gonna be extremely vague on this next sentence, for privacy's sake. But let me explain. There was a time I would complain about something, something specific actually. I would complain saying "this needs to be resolved", but I didn't do anything. For months I kept putting it off and off again. Until I talked with some friends and finally helped out to do something about the situation.

Thank you guys for the talk. I posted this cause I wanted to talk it out, share what happened. I did not intend to offend, or even insult anybody. And I especially didn't intend for this post to become so popular. If the responses keep coming this quickly I might delete this post, as it's so hard to keep up, and there are so many responses, that it's taking a toll on my anxiety. If I feel overwhelmed (Which a bunch of people talking at once gets me overwhelmed, personally.) then it causes me to get anxious slowly but surely. If it's possible at all, slow it down a bit? xD That request is just bonkers, I know.

Thank you all for the positive feedback that has been given. I really didn't intend for this many people to show up. I hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful day! I'v been having fun with preseason so far, hope ya'll are too. ^.^ Ta ta for now.

shyv1 votes

hey sorry to bring back a really old discussion, but using the word retard to describe autistic people is really outdated language and usually offensive even coming from an autistic person. i get that you're autistic too, but if you called me a retard i wouldn't exactly be happy about it :P

otherwise though, great post, it bothers me a lot too. last week i saw my team mate call someone retarded, and when i brought up the fact that i'm autistic and they should use a different word, it just ended up with them making fun of me for being autistic. sigh

Chimewlan1 votes

Some people don't really care about what they say and how it affects others around them. It really makes me wonder how they'll mature later on...

ApexInTheCircle1 votes

I've honestly stopped taking offense to anything anyone says. I don't condone harassing other people or arguing although I've done it when my nerves reach their limit, but then again we're all human and WE ALL have a breaking point. However, if I was you I would just stop listening to what others say or do, especially in league.

At the end of the day they weren't targeting you with their insults (although I do understand where you're coming from) I have a facial twitch from a baseball bat incident from when I was around 8 and I got called retarded all the time in high school and middle school but I just shrugged it off. IMO let karma deal with the idiots I.E report them.

HayRoss1 votes

I'm Autistic as well, and while it is pretty offensive that people use my disability as a regularly used insult around the internet, I just suck it up. People of the Internet will try and use ANYTHING seemingly derogatory as an insult. People get called gay, %%%, queer, retard, etc. mostly because it's commonly perceived as being a bad thing, when in reality, for the most part, it isn't. calling someone autistic is just another thing that people will throw around as an insult for an amount of time before they get bored of it and move on.

It sucks, I know, but it will (probably) move on in the future. There's nothing we can do to change it faster, we just gotta suck it up until then

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