Let's have a serious discussion about whether or not riot will give me 90LP

Hey, it's time to talk about something I think the community finally has to address:

Is Riot going to give me 90 LP? We need to know.

You might ask me, "Why do you need 90 LP?" Well, let me be frank: I need to change my name. You see, I'm no longer the best Talon ever.

I know. Shocking.

But, after 9 games, many of which were losses during what I like to call the "skill development period", I'm finally ready to say this beyond a shade of doubt:

I am now the Best Azir Ever. It's simply not disputable. Please, Riot, allow me to change my name to reflect this recent change to the competitive League scene. I even bought the Galactic skin, so you know I'm serious about this.

All I need is 90LP. The time for change is now. Also, while I have your attention, allow me to bring your attention to a matter very close to my heart: KONY. He's still out there. We still haven't found him. KONY2014