Got deranked, Alistamazing plan to get back to gold...

So I haven't been playing for weeks and inevitably got deranked back to silver 1. However this opens up an opportunity to get to gold by using my secret weapon...

Alistar top.

Ranged harrass? No prob, got the feels for dem heals. Hard trades? Pfff, say hello to the birds while you're up there. Want to get that siege minion? Sure, if you can get it from 650 units away it's yours. Trying to stand-up fight me? Trying to gank me?? Trying to kill me??? Hopefully my cleanse, 70% damage reduction and 95 AD will send you flashing your butt on the Nope-Train heading for ScrewThatVille.

Hey, teamfights eh? Hey mister Nasus, nice stacks bro. I don't wanna fight you anymore. I'll just make my Adc legendary after feeding bot, because you'll never touch my beatiful adc. Yo, heard Kog'Maw is viable again, you probably wish you were on my team now, eh? I'm Ali yo, stack resist and ult. Has 2346 hp, Over 90000 effective hp, your puny on hit effects won't save you from the horns! My sweet team... Lemme check my lolnexus real quick. My sweet team... Lemme see what their teamcomp is first. My sweet team... Lemme see what we need... You go tank? Ok. My sweet team, need a magic damage tank? Need on hit effect bruiser? Need another adc? No worries, I'm no bully, Alistar is in it to win it. And will build accordingly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll ride the Golden Bull to Gold and beyond.