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The Official Church of the Glorious Evolution

Flay and Pray·3/10/2015, 9:21:30 PM·11 votes·2,545 views

To join in our community discussion, join the "The Glorious Evolution" chat room on your LoL client.

http://imgur.com/QHOq0os

Let us begin with our opening prayer:

Our Father who art in Zaun, hallowed be thy name. Thy Evolution come. Thy will be done in Valoran as it is in Zaun. Give us this day our daily augments, and forgive us our flesh, as we forgive those who have yet to evolve, and lead us not into viruses but deliver us from emotions

For thine is the Herald, and the Creator, and the first of many, for ever and ever.

Amen

What/Who we are

Allow me, TechPriest ShortWired to explain the reason for this cult to exist. We are the first of the glorious master race. If you wish to have eternal life and leave your weaknesses and petty emotions behind you then you are a welcome comrade. Eventually, the human race will crumble and our superior technology and bodies will soon rule Valoran. Our leader the glorious Viktor hath brought to us a salvation. Through his wisdom we will crush all who oppose us and the age of the Glorious Evolution will commence.

For additional information: Please leave a comment asking any questions you have regarding our methods or what we have to offer. Viktor is busy with his work, so I will answer any questions you have!

If you wish to partake in this moment and stand beside our leader and comrades watching the new age that we will create follow the simple instructions below.

How to EVOLVE:

Leave a comment below stating "I __ will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension", leave any additional comments but be sure to include 1 of the 7 sacraments provided below. By looking at these I may assign you to different sections. Be sure to include the picture of the sacrament you chose and explain why you chose it if you want to.

Sacrament 1: Researcheritem 3200 Lucky you! You get to work alongside Zaun's most brilliant minds and develop new methods of increasing the efficiency of our soldiers and acolytes.

Sacrament 2: Engineeritem 3196 While metal may be perfection, the marks of war show even on our best weaponry and soldiers. You will help repair what has been damaged and maybe even improve what is already there.

Sacrament 3: War Machineitem 3197 You realize the power that the evolution has brought you and fight on the front lines demonstrating to the puny fleshlings what a superior construct can do.

Sacrament 4: Inquisitoritem 3198 While we know the true path, our efforts have yet to reach city states such as the very stubborn Piltover. You will demonstrate the power of our nation to these individuals and preach to them the only true way to be saved. We may be steel, but our cores still beat. We must save as many as we can.

Sacrament 5: Security Droneitem 3027 You have the privilege of working beside our master. You will guard our most important laboratories and scientists, including the herald himself. There are some out there afraid of our acts, and wish to plunge the world into its undeniable doom. These people will stop at nothing to halt our progress and you will be our first line against them.

Sacrament 6: Enforceritem 3116 Sadly, even within our own walls many decide not to abide by our guidance's and poison our systems. These acolytes must be taught discipline, and you are our method of doing so. Working closely with the security drones, you may not spread our evolution but you are what keeps it running.

Sacrament 7: Techmaturgionitem 3001 Many of our acolytes seek to augment themselves even further and with new recruits every day, Viktor cannot be bothered to save them all from their flesh. You will help these seeking enlightenment and using the tools our herald has devised alter their flesh to a much better alternative.

Thank you for taking the time to see what the Glorious Evolution has to offer

**WARNING: Viktor and his followers are not responsible for any impalement, dismemberment, decapitation, frying, overheating, viruses, circumcision, brain damage, short circuiting, disfiguring, scars, acne, amputations, diseases, unusual growths, or any other side effects that may occur from joining in the Revolution **

Have a nice day, but remember your time is limited unless you join the GLORIOUS EVOLUTION!

34 Comments

hallos3/10/2015, 10:15:07 PM3 votes

I've never been one for religious dogma, but shoulder mounted death lasers appeal to me. Hallos Pledges to Sacrament 3 item 3198

JDmage3/10/2015, 10:42:00 PM3 votes

I JDmage will relinquish my flesh and flaws to partake in the next step in ascension! I would like to acolyte for a Researcheritem 3200, for I believe I have a a vast knowledge that I can give to the cul... I mean Church of the Glorious Evolution.

insaiyanbacca3/10/2015, 10:07:01 PM3 votes

I insaiyanbacca will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension, i offer up sacrament 6 item 3116

PONCHOGRANDE3/11/2015, 3:32:48 AM2 votes

I PONCHOGRANDE will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension!

I pledge to devote myself to the enlightenment of humanity. To bring His light to those shrouded in the darkness of their own ignorance. To seek out and cleanse those who would dare defy His will. I am the sword of the Herald. I wish to invoke Sacrament 4item 3198, I will be relentless in my quest to save humanity from itself.

KwangoTango3/11/2015, 5:13:48 AM2 votes

[deleted]

TheGamingWay3/11/2015, 6:14:23 PM1 votes

I TheGamingWay will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension.

I wish to invoke Sacrament 5item 3027. I shall not let any one interrupt the herald in his mission to save humanity from itself.

OhOkYea3/10/2015, 9:51:36 PM1 votes

Why are you using words from the bible in this? If you just want to have some fun messing around with lore, that's fine. But leave Jesus and the bible out of it. You are demeaning God's word by misusing the text and basically idolizing a false God.

Please remove the sections that are offensive towards the Lord Jesus Christ.

Itadaki Seieki3/11/2015, 8:01:05 PM1 votes

"I Phijkchu_Baku will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension"

BEEP BOOP. item 3198

We are the one true cult.

TonyTonyMordecai3/11/2015, 12:40:48 AM1 votes

I TonyTonyMordecai will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension. I offer up sacrament 2 item 3196

CBosss3/11/2015, 5:59:37 AM1 votes

I CBosss will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension. I pledge myself to acolyte 3 item 3197 to serve under our glorious leader Viktor in war, live or die may the glorious evolution live on!

LostSoul6663/11/2015, 3:01:54 PM1 votes

I Lostsoul666 will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension. I offer myself for augmentation for Sacrament 3item 3197 . I shall crush those who oppose the glorious evolution. Their weapons shall break against my Armour, those who resist will be consumed in the fires of evolution, I will not stop until all of the world witnesses the Glorious Evolution!

DoomsdayFo3/11/2015, 6:10:03 PM1 votes

I, doomsdayfo, will relinquish my flesh and my flaws to partake in the next step to ascension

I wish to join sacrament 4, so that i may show the true power of the glorious revolution to anybody who doubts us

I also wish to begin my career as a inquisitor with an inquire, what shall we do about the shadow isles, will we destroy them or try and get them to join as battlecasts?