Lost... Worse than Rek'Sai without Tremor Sense
Right now I am more lost than ever, with really no idea what or where to go. I have always been the guy with a plan some idea of what to do in the darkest of times. Now I just don't know... I feel so apathetic and not even remotely empathetic. I have lost many of my friends whether from moving or dying. I know... you're thinking "Wtf is this person saying or typing any of this out"
But, I really just need to vent before something stupid is done. League is like that one bright light left in my life. Its kept what few friends I have left in touch. My frustration reached the point I finally broke the first bone in my body(my hand). Even now, I am still typing with it... Despite the pain I think I sorta like it there, it reminds me I can still feel something. I have loved helping people but now... Maybe I am too selfish. I just don't feel like helping or doing anything... Everything I touch, just ugh.
I can literally count on a hand "my friends" and now the list is even smaller with my marriage ending... I knew we had troubles no one is perfect that is part of the thing that makes to love the individual... Those little quirks, mistakes, and problems we have. I feel nothing, I really just don't care.... I had dreams and plans everything just fell apart. I am very figuratively and literally lost. Where do I start? Do I remember how? How do I move on? This was hard enough when my friend died? Does it matter? How when I learn to trust someone again? Or even love? How do I talk to girls again? Will I even want to?...
Like I said Lost like Rek'Sai without Tremor Sense... What do I do? League is a game I like because its fluid, always changing there is plans to lay and actions to execute, people to help, people to save...
I have always been that kid in the back of the room watching everyone else. I enjoy other people, I love watching other people smile and have fun(probably the reason I love the support and jungle roles so much). I know I cannot hold this all inside so I just need someone to talk to... as sad as it sounds its better for me to talk to anyone than the other results.
