You are now a Riot employee...
and you are told to get busy, what do you do?
Lets assume you can begin work on whatever you want. Also please be respectful.
122 Comments
I'm going to the Lore department and you won't see me for a few weeks. Ask me after I reemerge.
Servers. Don't care how. It'll get fixed. I'll shoot the guy in the dick with a nerf gun that's spilling coffee on them.
Sit down with IronStylus, thank him for all his hard work, discuss a new twilight themed champ to go with Diana, and also Eclipse themed skins for Diana, Leona, and said champ
Get a team together to go through the boards and try to have every thread looked at/commented on atleast once
Make Lore a priority
Open some contests where community ideas would be polled/judged and once a month there would be a three day implementation of winning idea (a month would hopefully be enough time to program whatever it was) and if it got a high enough rating by the community implement it into the game
Best for last-
Rework the leveling system so that the levels seen by people would be based on the champion you are using, so like the current experience, except only for the champion that you are using during the game, for example- Say you main Diana, after a certain point you would reach lvl 30 Diana, and **receive a special skin **for Diana (which is only obtainable by reaching lvl 30) as well as a summoner symbol of the champion (in this case Diana) and a Banner that would show what lvl you were below your name during the loading screen- i.e. you could be lvl 30 Diana one game and everyone would see, but next game you try out Nami, and it shows lvl 1 on the loading screen.
Hotfix Lee Sin.
During an internal review of Lee's champion archetype and gameplay, we realized that the blind monk did not convey a "blind" feel. To remedy this, players who choose Lee Sin will only be able to see vision provided by teammates, wards, or his q and e on their computer screens.
While this will be a shocking change, we feel that it will relieve the dissonance between Lee Sin's current gameplay and his archetype
I'd remove all Summoner Spells and put them on items. I'd make sure that non-Summoner-Spell items were buffed to compensate or the new items would provide very little in terms of stats for the cost. I'd bring back Force of Nature (though I'd have to change the Health Regen thing to something else because of the way Warmog's works now). I'd put skeletons everywhere. Grim Reaper Karthus would actually be a Grim Reaper. I'd revert the lore revamp. League of Legends would be League of Legends again. I'd ask the skins/art team to work on Dragon Master Swain. Every time Morello pops up to say that despite the fact that he said it would be made, no progress has been made on actually creating it... Eugh. I'd get the Fighter/melee rework in motion. It needs to happen, and it's extremely late. I'd remove RNG from the game entirely. Crit would be reworked to provide bonus damage based on a "counter" system (25% crit = bonus damage every four hits). Brand's ultimate and Fiddlesticks' E would have specific parameters for choosing which targets to bounce to. I'd nerf/rework Fizz. I'd nerf Caitlyn's attack speed, but increase her starting AD and natural scaling AD. Perhaps rework her Q entirely. I'd make sure that the USA and Europe get a number of new servers proportional to the distribution ratio of servers to players that League currently has in Asia. The East coast would be my first target. I'd encourage all Rioters to post on the actual Boards instead of Reddit. I'd advocate for more female "monster"/nonhuman champions. Anivia's lonely.
I guess this is all based on the idea that I get to control Riot, not work within it. If I actually worked for Riot as a regular employee... I'd post on the Boards exclusively, at least. That, and I'd advocate for all of the changes I listed above.
Immediately force all skin development type people onto the Pool Party Katarina skin that we so desperately need. Soon after that was completed all resourses (ALL), would be focused on getting a east coast server up and functional. After lunch I would tell everyone to go home and spend time with their families, since we as a team had handled all of the companies most pressing issues.
I'd personally want to see all the crazy stuff that gets put in internal playtests (the stuff that doesn't even make it to PBE). Also I'd like to either work in an URF mode for each map, or make a separate URF map, balance out URF a bit better (ie. some champions might need some changes for this map in particular).
Rioter? Busy? Hahahahaha!
If I had infinite power, I make a beeline (I trust Riot with champs) for the lore. I start simple, accept the league is gone. Actually first thing I do is make that final. Then I start organizing the champs mentally, making a map where everyone's located and everyone's loyalty. Next step, start calling up video-game bookwriters (Christie Golden, Aaron, ect. ect.). I assign one to each major faction (Shurima, Fjelord, Noxus, Demacia, namely), I set a couple of guidelines (focus on X champion, show off someone's fighting prowess, but focus more on political intrigue) and I let them know what I want them to lead up to. Finally, once that's complete, I have the writer of the best novel out of the four to write a final novel, a world war ending with the formation of the League of Legends. From there, I show the League is in fact, a weaker association then first thought, causing tention between the factions. from there....who knows.
Teemo buffs.
I'd give Doran items actives
Grab a refrigerator full of Hot Pockets and Root Beer, 'cuz I'll be swimming in that legacy code for a looooooooooooooooooong time.
Immediately start development on some of the awesome champion concepts on the boards (and yes even some of my own XD).
i will buff all champions so that everyone is op. so no one gets nerfed anymore.
I would go write some lore! Lore may not be the basis of gameplay but it is definitely an important part of the immersion! LORE! :D
Start working on fixing east coast ping/disconnect issues.
Gonna get my broom and clean the floor.
I think i would make guilds on lol or companions for champ (a little pet (like poro) that follow you everywhere ...i think it should be really cool and would give a lot of money to lol)
oh another thing I would do is to be able to rebuild tower after 30 min for 1000gold (only nexus and inhibitor towers)
First, I would bring my cat into the office (he comes in with me on Fridays where I am at currently) to raise spirits and give people a fun distraction during the day when needed (red dot anyone?). Secondly, I would do some marketing research by reading boards/forums/comments/posts to see what people really want. I've seen a lot of common themes from people and wondered why Riot doesn't seem to pay attention to them. I'm sure changes/updates are planned months in advance so there is a lot of planning involved. Riot also needs some surveys. I haven't seen one yet and having players vote on new champs/skins would be fun as well as well as helping make sure new "products" are developed that players actually want. Map skins. I think this would be easy, allow skins to be purchased in the store that you can select to appear in your game only. I get visually bored while I'm in game. The sameness bothers me haha.
Begin refactoring/rewriting the Minion class out of everything.
I would work on a better AI. It has been a dream of mine to create an AI for league that could at the very least make it out of bronze.
Retcon everything in sight so i don't have to do any real work
Create a new teemo skin to maximize profit for the quarter!
start developing the concept of a new champ, maybe a Faun. You already have many of the mithological creatures, not this one. Another thing i would do is start developing skins thinking of Latin America market, you already have skins related to Europe, Asia and NA, nothing targeted to Brasil, Mexico and so on.
Probably request to begin work on a new olaf rework pump out an amazing idea in a single day and proceed to get a bonus for all my hard wok at the end of the year
Get off my ass and start putting a server farm on the East Coast. (HINT FUCKING HINT)
I'd give Quinn's Q the ability to proc Harrier (and hopefully on-hit effects), slightly increase the range on Azir's Q, add a bonus AD ratio onto Kog'Maw's Q of about 75%, increasing Aatrox's base armor to 20, give Urgot's W a 3% of max mana scaling, change Gangplank's E to a grenade toss ability that shreds armor that operates nearly identical to Corki's Q (albeit with a slightly lower base damage ratio), and finally give Morgana and Taric full visual updates.
I'd go find the team who worked on Sion's revamp, sit them down calmly, and slowly start removing fingernails until they give back his old ult.
I'd also probably set up a script to grab the threads on Boards with well thought out gameplay changes and blast them out to the appropriate people on staff. Flash reworks, Intelligent champion reworks (they only take two-three minutes to read apiece), etc...
Definitly would get ao shin out, also drop all challengers back to bronze and boost me to challenger
Step 1: Delete 
Step 2: Resign