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Murphy's Laws of League

Me actually·6/2/2016, 1:24:04 AM·42 votes·2,557 views

  1. That one OP champ that nobody banned will be first picked by the enemy team. Corollary: If your team has first pick, all the OP champs will be banned

  2. You will always use mobility spells after being targeted by Vi ult/ Maokai w/ Nocturne ult, etc.

  3. The enemy will never have an AFK Corollary: An enemy AFK will come back at just the right moment to make an impact.

  4. Volibear will always go 4-1 in the first 10 minutes.

  5. Your Shaco will always take summoner 4 , and the enemy Shaco will always take summoner 14 . Corollary: Nightblue3 will never take summoner 14 on Shaco.

  6. A Karthus will only have ult when you are low health.

  7. Botlane will always feed.

If you know any others, comment them!

59 Comments

CannonLordFreed6/2/2016, 1:32:39 AM19 votes
  1. Allied Azir LeeSin Vayne and other high skillcap champs will feed. Enemy high skillcap champs will be gods.
The Whamboozler6/2/2016, 10:02:51 AM16 votes

Your Vayne will think she can 1v5.

Your enemy's Vayne actually CAN 1v5.

TheSequelsRBad6/2/2016, 3:29:30 AM7 votes

Illaoi will either have 18 kills, or feed and be useless.

Surge066/2/2016, 9:28:39 AM7 votes
  1. Any time you are struggling to climb or win games is always due to changes implemented by Riot and nothing to do with your own inherent skill.
  2. Their team are both incredibly friendly even when they're losing. Your team reports you for taking one of their 27 kills.
  3. Their Illaoi Vayne Yasuo Graves or Darius will be able to effortlessly 1v5 your team. Yours will feed whilst accusing everyone else of being noobs.
kitcat3006/2/2016, 3:32:09 AM7 votes

Using and Off-meta/unusual strategy.

Entering game: "Please don't troll."

Losing: "Report intentional feeding."

Winning: "You're boosted."

Malicious Metal6/2/2016, 10:00:34 AM6 votes

Your Morde's either trolling or Brazilian.

The enemy's Morgoth and Dio's unholy offspring.

HayRoss6/2/2016, 1:15:22 PM6 votes

Their Garen always knows what they're doing

You Garen always ults people at 2/3 max health and builds this: item 3083 item 3111 item 3056 item 3025 item 3091 item 3748

ThatH1N16/2/2016, 2:33:37 AM5 votes

Your LeeSin sucks ass, their LeeSin is a god.

LSmaster166/2/2016, 2:29:42 AM5 votes

If you step into a bush Garen will be standing there.

B1naryB0t6/2/2016, 4:17:11 PM4 votes

"Corollary: If your team has first pick, all the OP champs will be banned" Haha, as if all the OP champs are gone after 6 bans.

Swaid6/2/2016, 2:55:28 PM3 votes
  1. No matter which team he is on, Bard is your enemy.
  2. If you are a support with kills, you stole them, even if your ADC was nowhere near the fight.
  3. Your jungler will get the shitty drakes, the enemy jungler will get the good ones.
  4. There is never a meta where banning Fizz is wasteful.
Arsenic Sulfur6/2/2016, 2:06:06 PM3 votes

Twitch will pop up every time you head to dragon.

If you make a big star as Aurelion Sol, no one will be in mid lane to hit.

If you choose a melee champ, your opponent is Kayle.

A Teemo shroom will kill you when you survive a teamfight.

DemainaNyx6/2/2016, 10:43:56 AM2 votes

Your Blitzcrank couldn't hit a hook if the enemy stood still, and even then, he'd hit the Amumu with ult. The enemy Blitzcrank hits nothing but the ADC and APC, especially right before the team fight.

If your bot lane is winning or staying even, someone will go down and make sure the enemy Vayne / Draven gets an early triple. If you are the bot lane, the assassin or bruiser will get fed and come down to murder you.

The enemy assassin can 2 shot the ADC and APC without dying. Your assassin can barely manage to chunk a squishy without being murdered.

Only Play Darius6/2/2016, 5:08:13 PM2 votes

If MasterYi is on your team, he will never gank and die 1v5 late game

Corollary: If MasterYi is on the enemy team he is Cowsep

Also can be substituted for Udyr and Trick2G

Project Riven6/2/2016, 7:17:14 PM2 votes

If you're rude and toxic, don't expect your team to help you win the game.

TheEloGoblin6/4/2016, 2:45:07 AM1 votes

Master Yi Qs when you use something to stop him.

Covert Ops Gnar6/2/2016, 8:27:04 AM1 votes

Other team is premade

Your team is all solo

Erdamon6/2/2016, 1:36:22 PM1 votes
  1. Volibear will always go 4-1 in the first 10 minutes.

Doesn't that apply to all champions as long as they're on the enemy team?

Crowe Stalker6/2/2016, 3:10:05 PM1 votes

The Enemy Mid-Laner and Jungler will always roam in a game you are playing an Immobile ADC and you do not have a Support Thresh.

Your (X (Champion)) can't hit (Y (Ultimate)) if someone had a gun to their head. Their (X) could hit (Y) on 4 people while playing Stairway to Heaven and delivering a speech on National Television.

JarvanIV will always ult at least one of your allies and subsequently get them killed. If they have an Anivia Gnar Illaoi or other champion who loves fighting in confined spaces, elevate that to two and at least one fight he'll ult in your whole team.

Chatillon6/2/2016, 3:13:49 PM1 votes

Can confirm the Volibear one

kDrakari6/2/2016, 6:49:56 PM1 votes

No, if your team has first pick it's a one trick pony... and his champ is banned.

Reaper55996/2/2016, 9:21:31 PM1 votes

If your team has Blitzcrank he will miss every hook, even point blank hooks

Corollary: if the enemy team has Blitzcrank, he has made their MissFortune 10/0 at the 10 min mark.

World Ender6/2/2016, 9:46:53 PM1 votes

The jungler will always be blamed.

hoes and bows6/2/2016, 9:49:42 PM1 votes

1.If you call Teemo, he will be banned. by your team. 2.If there is a bush, there is a Garen in it.

ARequestOfDeath6/2/2016, 10:28:09 PM1 votes
  1. Don't chase Singed
ManiacalCoyote6/3/2016, 5:26:12 AM1 votes

Their Singed will take all of your turrets and never die. Your Singed will die 10 times on each turret and only get to inner.

Their Teemo will always have vision on you. Your Teemo will stack all of his mushrooms in one spot and wonder why he cannot oneshot an enemy who steps on the pile.

Their Nasus will have 200 stacks at 10:00. Your Nasus will have 200 stacks at 30:00.

Ralanr6/3/2016, 6:21:54 AM1 votes

Your Poppy/Alistar/anyone with a displacement will always knock the enemy into a favorable position for them or an unfavorable position for you. Always.

cuddlykitten46/3/2016, 2:58:24 PM1 votes
  1. You will lose your promos regardless of any win streak you are on. (you forgot this one)