How to become a Pro-Player: Pro-Tips

Hi,

You should follow this guide, it's the best! Don't look at other guides, they SuX0rZ!

First of all, YOU ARE THE BEST, EVERYONE ELSE SuX0rZ, PERIOD!

• Don't go for objectives such as Dragon, Rift Herald, or Baron... You don't need them, you're the best. Let the enemy have them, it shows how weak they are and that they need all the extra help!
• When a team member pings for assistance at an objective, ignore it... what they really want is help staring at how pretty the objective is animated. Don't waste your time, and walk past them.
• Since you're the best, you can always at least 1v2 or 1v3 ... if you happen to die, they were just lucky, and as we all know luck runs out... it's basically utilizing the mathematics of chance, you are smart like that using science.
• You can and should chase enemies into the fog of war, it's safe there by definition since what you can't see, can't hurt you. Think of it like this: When a baby holds its hands before their eyes, it thinks it's invisible... League of Legends works like that too.
• Adding to the previous point, DO NOT WARD! If you have vision of the enemy they can hurt you. No vision means they aren't there! Adding to the adding: Wards are annoying growths on the skin that no one should want around... incidentally spelling is also not important to play League or do anything else in life.
• Always stand in front of your minions! You're the leader, and you should show that you are by leading the charge!!
• Ignore responses for help by team members, it teaches them self-reliance and builds character. Since they respawn anyway, Nietzsche's saying "what does not kill you makes you stronger" still applies. The claim that League of Legends is a team-based game is false, and simply a ruse by Riot to make it socially justifiable.
• Warning pings by your teammates are actually meant for the enemy to signal just how dangerous, great and majestic you are! March onward !
• Since towers in League of Legends don't move they are even more useless than in chess... let someone else beat the statue... you need to hunt movable targets!
• Always try to get the kill, even if your teammates did all the work. You deserve the kill, they know it, and will be grateful that they could watch how you spectacularly took the last 10HP of the enemy.
• When you've died 9 times in 20 minutes due to the enemy 'luck', and a team mate dies for the second time, it is their fault the enemy is fed. This is due to the 'first in, first out' principle, and since you are not the last to die, your deaths don't count. Make sure to tell the team mate he/she is a 'feeder' and that they enemy is now fed. It is surely new to them that dying to the enemy is not what the game is about, and perhaps they will die less in the future so you can die more... to the 'luck' of enemy teams.
• Don't test new champions in the Practice Tool or in bot games... that's for n00bz, you can master champ instantly, you are just that good. In fact, you are so amazing, that you should immediately pick a never-played before champ in a ranked game.
• Make sure to pick the Windspeaker's Blessing Keystone on a champion without healing, that's why you need it that much... it's the only sensible thing to do!
• Likewise, Pick the Courage of the Colossus keystone on Champion without stuns... You'll be fine. Your performance will be so fantastic and amazing that the entire enemy team will be stunned by your display of awesomeness, and that is when CoC will activate anyway... How you play defies the rules of League, you're the best, you're the game breaker!
• If you 1v2 at level 1, for example mid-lane against enemy midlaner and jungler, and you die, it's the fault of the support, who is in botlane, for not saving you. What kind of support are they if they can't recognize your awesomeness, and read your mind that you need some audience support. Blame them in chat, the support will surely pay closer attention to you!

Any great and amazing Pro-Tips I forgot? Leave them in the comments below.