Top Lane

**Please take this with a grain of salt ** I am a tank and a bruiser and I focus on run away tactics rather than entirely deciding between offense or defense. I can deal tremendous amounts of damage, stun, heal myself and I have to escape that shred armor if I want to engage or escape. I have an arsenal of dashes and I can erect my blade if others are out of my reach. I am Riven's better, gayer version. I can block turret shots because of my big shield and I refresh this passive by leap stunning others. I have unlimited base damage and my dashes are only limited by how many friends you ask the help of. I can riposte your teleport and send you back to base. I can make you bleed harder than my ignite and my ult will execute you if you're still alive and reset in case you ask for help. I can poke with my basic attacks and poison you from afar while killing the bot lane with some strategic mushroom bounces. I will not be in lane and I will punish you for trying to find me. I int. I will farm until I become stronger than all of the assassins and I'll slow you with my bind. I will block all of your damage, stop you from making more damage and I'll jump on you with my knives. I will do the same, but with a lamp. I will only fight and my mount can tank all of the world's attacks. I can do magic crit and I will heal off of everything. I'm not a Top laner.

We are all overpowered and will always be, since change means we become useless. We will never change. We are stupid.