Yes don't blame the jungler
but sometimes things are beyond your control.
For example:
Player gets counterpicked, they play safe and get decent cs, some point during laning phase they get ganked but survive, although they are forced to back. While returning to the map your opponent roamed, ganked a lane / engaged in a skirmish and picked up a kill or two.
Now they are not only a counter but blatantly stronger than you are you find yourself falling behind because they can no longer safely CS.
I would not blame an individual for such a predicament. No it is not the junglers role / responsibility to help them. Depending on the circumstances on the game it may be wise too, it may not. However if the jungler does not aid them the laner has no business blaming them.
However the laner in question cannot be justly blamed for loosing the lane. Especially if he doesn't receive aid.
Just because the other teams jungler helps a lane doesn't mean your forced to help hat lane too, but you need to acknowledge that sometimes a small presence for them could potentially have a large impact on the outcome of the lane if not matched.
For example if you have two mages mid and only one receives a blue buff (NOT SAYING THE JUNGLER NEEDS TO GIVE BLUE I FREQUENTLY TAKE 2-3 MYSELF) it needs to be acknowledged that the one lacking blue will likely not be at a disadvantage, because they lack the resource to compete with the extra harass / poke stemming from their opponents blue. Could very well be a contributing factor to lost cs, loss of tower from being forced to back or even a death. However since the person with the blue is likely to push an you match the other junglers contribution with a gank, you may swing the lane in your teams favor.
I am in no means the best jungler, but just as I expect to not be blamed by a laner for their hardships, I will not blame them for the state of their lane if I have helped them significantly less than the enemy jungler / they are in an unfavorable match up. (This is assuming that are at least semi competent, not some moron blatantly hard pushing without wards)