HOW TO BE A LEGENDARY BEAST LIKE ME

Hello everybody, I'm MuffinFTW! Obviously, as you all know, I'm a ****ing BEAST at this game. (Level 19, sup?) Anyways, because I'm a ****ing BEAST, I always get legendary every game. Since, I pity my noob teammates each game, I decided to write a guide on how to be pro like myself. All you have to do is follow my few simple steps and you'll be astonished at the results from so.

Step 1: Obviously, you're thinking, "My god, MuffinFTW, is a ****ing BEAST." and "How the hell can I become a BEAST like him?". Well, first off, you must get into the BEAST mentality. To do so, you must act like a BEAST, and flaunt your BEASTNESS by calling all your teammates garbage. This makes your teammates realize that you're a BEAST and that they should be honored to have you in their team. You should do this step multiple times throughout the game, so it reminds your teammates of your BEAST nature.

Step 2: Now that you have the BEAST mentality, you must prove that you're a BEAST, by playing like a BEAST. So you're probably currently thinking, "How do I play like a BEAST, now that I have the BEAST mentality?". Well, that's actually quite simple. You simply must NEVER waste your skills on the enemy, until the enemy is near the point of death. Also, you must farm throughout the game by assisting your teammates whenever they try to kill neutral creeps (make sure you get the last hit on them for the gold). After all, you're the ****ing BEAST who needs that money. After that, during ganks and team fights, you wait until all your teammates waste their ulti on the enemy... Then... BOOM!!! You use you're ulti and other skills to get the kill!

So basically the following: Farm farm farm - Team Fight - Wait for teammates to nuke enemy to low hp - Run in and take kills!

Step 3: "I see, BEAST MUFFINFTW!!! But, there's a problem... I keep dying after getting the kill, since I have to save my teammate, and now I can't get legendary..." - Anonymous BEAST apprentice.

Well, there's a simple solution to that. All you have to do is simply get the kill, then abandon your teammates. Who says that you must save them? Since, you're a ****ing BEAST and got the kill. They're merely worthless garbage that belongs on the streets, so why should a BEAST like yourself waste your chances of legendary status? Exactly, you don't have to!

Step 4: By now you're surely legendary! But of course the worthless garbage that is your teammates, start to think that you're garbage, despite the fact that only they are. You just have to remind them throughout the game that you're a ****ing BEAST carrying them and that BEASTS don't assist garbage such as themselves. Simply say, "OMFG YOU'RE ****ING GARBAGE... COME AT ME BRO. COME AT ME." Then, challenge them to a 1 vs 1 after the game, because usually they'll dodge after seeing your score. But in an event where they actually accept, just go, "LOL BRO. YOU'RE GARBAGE, I ****ING WENT X SCORE. You're ****ing worthless, not even worthy of my time bro." Thats how you deal with the worthless garbage.

Step 5: Now to solve the final problem that you may have, you're probably going, "BUT BEAST MUFFINFTW-SENSEI, I GET LEGENDARY, BUT LOSE EVERY SINGLE GAME BASICALLY!!! T_T". Well, that's unfortunately unavoidable that despite the fact that you have every single BEAST item, that your teammates can't get the enemy on low hp for you... It's a simple fact that we must learn to accept as BEASTS. But hopefully whenever people look at your match history, they'll go, "HOLY ****, THIS GUY IS ****ING 15441515145/0/0 EACH GAME! HE'S A ****ING BEAST! But why is he losing every game though? Oh well!!!".

After thoughts: So by now you're finally a BEAST like MuffinFTW, by playing like a BEAST! I hope you all are able to become BEASTS like myself from this guide! But remember, there can only be ONE BEAST in a game. So if somebody is already a BEAST like MuffinFTW, then you should be the worthless garbage that must assist him. But if you ever do encounter the BEAST master MuffinFTW, don't even bother trying to be beast like him. Instead, you should just assist the BEAST master MuffinFTW. Since you're level of BEASTNESS is garbage compared to him.