Hey Riot, Here is your Evaluation

I'd like to give you some feed back on your game, League of Legends. But, I must tell you that in order to evaluate your game, I decided to randomly add it to a "team" of four other random games that are approximately equivalent based on some algorithm I made up but will never share with you. I then pitted your "team" against another random bunch of five games. (I just gathered what was available to me at the time.) Your team consisted of* League of Legends*, Parcheesi,* Pac-Man* for Atari 2600, * Hannah Montana: The Movie*, and some title-less vaporware. I'd like to have evaluated your game on its own, but that would be complicated and unlikely to ever come to fruition, because I am not really interested in actual fairness. With that said, please be advised that your game is awful. Horrific, actually. Worst of the worst. If a dead cat was a game, it would be the same rank as yours. The other "team" of games beat your "team" hands down. Based on your "team's" performance I can tell you that out of all the games in existence, yours ranks in the bottom tier of the lowest level. The other "team" led by E.T. the Extra Terrestrial for Atari was better. Don't worry, however, only 1% of all games ever rank higher than our second of five levels. I usually focus my attention only on those 1% of games because, frankly, the other 99% of games, like yours, are a dime a dozen and who really cares about those? I may add too that your evaluation may be somewhat biased because one of the games that was on your "team" didn't ever come into production, so I had to give it a score of zero across the board. Our algorithm is unable to account for situations like this. It could, but we don't care enough to be bothered with adding a little code to see if the teams were really even. A team of four versus a team of five is fair enough, right? I'm sorry that this reflects on you, but you must understand that gaming is really about teamwork and Riot should use positive reinforcement and encouragement to get other game developers for other companies working harder to succeed. Your individual evaluation is based solely on team performance. So, get out there and improve your teammates. You'll need to improve all of them because we will never put you on the same team as before. It will be different every time and we will continue to pick your teammates for you based on how poorly you perform. We will try to match you up with teammates that suck just as much as you do. I know that even though you are getting a very poor evaluation, your game is really popular and I know that you work hard to make it better all the time. But, who are we kidding? That really doesn't matter much. You are, in fact, only one tenth of the equation when it comes to us evaluating your worthiness. Our ranking algorithm must take into account the four other games on the random "team" we chose for you and, of course, the five other games on the "team" we pitted you against. I'm sure you can see that this is fair. So, good luck and good try. Hopefully, with a lot of practice, you will learn from your failure and climb out of the bottom of the barrel. But, let's be honest. Since you can't chose your teammates and you have no control over the nine of ten factors in our algorithm, the likelihood of League of Legends ranking higher is very unlikely. Oh well. Perhaps you may be good at pottery or baking snicker doodles.