Dynamism or Stagnation (CNNN News Flash)
And we now tune in live with Broke Baldwin for CNNN, reporting from the RIOT HQ in cold and miserable LA,
Questions have to be asked. Why all out of a sudden did the development team decide to make the poor richer and the ever so rich scared to earn anymore Gold in the rift.
The simple answer to that question would be the rise of Demacia spreading its terror and destruction over our peaceful RIft, but is it?
With the current changes to League of Legends in patch 5.16 (Already called Doom's day patch) Supports have received a unusual amount of love and praise for stealing kills from their carries.
Pre 5.16 a Support player would receive a abnormal amount of hate and death threats if he or she ever dared to steal a kill from the carry and claim that much desired gold and power. Not anymore, Supports are carried on hand and feet when they manage to claim the last hit on a enemy that is about to die.
Since Doom's Day patch the ADc starts to support the support, the jungler only ganks the lane for the support to get a kill and mid laners will try their best to make sure they never get a kill on the board flashing out of the fights to avoid accidentally getting that last hit in.
The game is in a critical stage, Do you ban Garen or not.
If only it was that simple. We at CNNN held a straw poll asking Summoners how they feel about banning Garen. From the 4 participants that participated in the straw poll 2 stated that they simply refuse to ban the Might of Demacia, to scared to look like a noob and low rated player for banning such a colossally sh*t champion.
The dichotomy is ever so real. The rift is divided by Summoners who want to see Garen perma banned, simply to afraid to face him and lose more LP in bronze 5. Others are adapting to the new game we're all playing, League of Assist Farming.
The new meta that is taking the Rift by storm looks like a sick version of a Dora the explorer for world domination play. Pacifists everywhere refusing to kill the enemy. Teams that play against Garen will either opt to Surrender once he hits lvl 6 or not kill anyone and push turrets.
Others go for a more strategic play called "Greenpeace Feint"
The lowest ranked player in the team is forced to play Support and take all the kills. Being life bait for the Might of Demacia to eventually lose the game regardless.
We've all been suspecting the development team to tug on that crack pipe during lunch break and produce nothing but weird drawings of Penguins being sexually abused by Antarctic fur seals.
Conspiracy theorists claim that the development team has their hands tied. Reliable sources state that Brandon Beck (CEO) and Mark Merrill (President) have been taken Hostage by Greenpeace and are being forced to stop the brutal murdering and killing of the innocent in League of Legends. To make league of legends a farming simulating game without any form of violence towards other players.
Information leaked by the notorious leader from Greenpeace, King Jum-Un shows that after Worlds all the minions will be replaced by miniature Gray California whales and that the new objective of Summoners Rift is to rescue and feed as many whales as possible before the time runs out.
The world is in shambles, holding its breath to see the outcome of this "Battle of Armegeddon - Revelation 19" and how our Rift will never be the same again.
CNNN convokes all their viewers to vote for Donald Trump, as we believe he is the only man alive to stop this madness and bring back world order.
Thanks for joining our afternoon broadcast, this was Broke Baldwin for CNNN and we wish you luck on the fields of justice.
