The Tahm Kench Cookbook

RiotGlyceroll·Aug 19, 2015·135 votes·196,382 views

When it comes to culinary gems, Tahm Kench is League's forefront connoisseur. Straight from Kench's kitchen - here's a few League themed recipes to impress your friends and family!

Made in collaboration with community artist Knockwurst and Bioluminescence.

Dare to try one of Tahm’s sinister recipes? Let us know what you think below!

397 Comments

lightdragoon88Aug 19, 2015327 votes

Thresh Do you have any Soul Food?

IcyPepperAug 19, 2015221 votes

Instructions unclear, Kalista Kebab hopped away and keeps kiting my melee ass.

aWildTardAppearsAug 20, 201566 votes

You cooked it at too high an ELO. Bronze kebabs would never escape from you.

FellowInTheNorthAug 19, 201580 votes

Hey, what's Thresh 's favorite food? FLAY MINION (filet minion)!

RiotRiot SilogAug 19, 201534 votes

this is excellent

OrisiAug 19, 201527 votes

I would've said fried chicken, hushpuppies, maybe cornbread.

Y'know, soul food.

A Wild GoombaAug 20, 20154 votes

Filet mignon*

I'm sorry ._.

TensorAug 19, 201569 votes

Are these real?... "MOM! MOM WARM UP THE STOVE!"

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 2015151 votes

Yup! All these recipes are tried, tested, and delicious. Pls don't burn down your house.

DetaramE KiddinGAug 19, 20154 votes

Do i haz to use chicken hearts. I wanna try the kalista kabobs but do you think it would be good if i marinated chicken breasts instead of chicken hearts? :3

RiotBioluminescenceAug 19, 201525 votes

{quoted}

Do i haz to use chicken hearts. I wanna try the kalista kabobs but do you think it would be good if i marinated chicken breasts instead of chicken hearts? :3

Chicken breast would work fine, but you would get a more flavorful/chicken-y result if you used chicken thigh meat. No need to bake them as long as you don't use pieces that are too big, and ensure you grill them until cooked all the way through!

Aelam220Aug 21, 20154 votes

I love how the Rioters are so concerned for our safety, "Don't burn down your house" and "Cook your chicken all the way through"... Thanks Riot for showing you really care about the community! <3

Ironclad DragonAug 19, 201523 votes

Heimerdinger Jessie, we need to cook.

Admittedly, I don't know a Jessie, but hey, references!

Hydrogen BraumAug 19, 2015162 votes

YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Rew711Aug 19, 201532 votes

This name fits perfect with what is written. +2

WaruiAug 19, 201527 votes

{quoted}

Yup! All these recipes are tried, tested, and delicious. Pls don't burn down your house.

Now we need to see pictures of the Rioter(s) that made these dishes or this is invalid. Pics or it didn't happen. :3

timesphereAug 19, 20158 votes

{quoted}

Yup! All these recipes are tried, tested, and delicious. Pls don't burn down your house.

You people eat chicken hearts?

StoryofTeemoAug 19, 201520 votes

I love a good chicken heart

N3CR0S3Aug 19, 201536 votes

Everyone loves a good chicken heart, you know just chop off its head let it run around a little and then reach your hand in rip out its heart while drinking the blood from its veins like a gogurt, then eating the still beating heart....... Delicious

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 201584 votes

http://i.imgur.com/hXGtYfh.gif

KinnyStrikesBackAug 19, 201515 votes

Make sure dyrus doesn't get his hands on these recipe or else.... gg tsm house

Dr MedícAug 19, 20157 votes

What is a house to an Emperor? Azir

ValentenAug 19, 20152 votes

Could we do hard boiled eggs instead of tomatoes if we arent fond of tomatoes for the eyes for the noodles :O

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 20156 votes

Definitely! I've also heard of someone using meatballs or sausage to replace the tomatoes with a more meaty substitute.

RandomikariAug 19, 201532 votes

I particularly love how the Amunoodles specifically note that they only serve 1. Even in noodle form, Amumu is forever alone. Looking forward to trying these.

RiotBioluminescenceAug 19, 201537 votes

{quoted}

I particularly love how the Amunoodles specifically note that they only serve 1. Even in noodle form, Amumu is forever alone. Looking forward to trying these.

The lightly-salted water for cooking the pasta is there to represent his tears, also. Cooked in his own tears.

Rew711Aug 19, 201530 votes

"I'll have 2 helpings of Kalista Kebabs and 4 Kruggets please."

"May you like to try a free sample of Amumoodles?"

"Sure, why not."

(Food is brought out.)

Now that I've finished, lets try these Amumoodles."

(Takes bite.)

"Wow, I love these. How did they make this?"

"With Amumu's tears, of course."

(Amumu is seen through a window crying. The man then throws up.)

FurballeAug 19, 20156 votes

Delicous

honorspellAug 19, 201530 votes

infinite breadsticks Kalista please.

General KeithAug 19, 201553 votes

Olive Garden Kalista confirmed.

ssaaeAug 19, 201526 votes

TahmKench can have a cook book... but graves can't have a cigar? Graves item 3070

ClockHeadAug 19, 201519 votes

Cook books help you make yummy meals. Cigars do bad things to your mouth hole so you enjoy said yummy meals less.

ssaaeAug 19, 20159 votes

Food makes you obese which can give you heart attacks bruh

Handsome JhinAug 19, 201517 votes

The only solution is to make food illegal. item 2009

ZubianGloryAug 19, 201522 votes

Did anyone else read this in Tahm Kench's voice? Or was it just me?

FaiIedAug 19, 201517 votes

the skewers in my Kalista kebabs keep disappearing after a while. how do i fix that? XinZhao offered me a tip. not sure if it would work.

Foreman GrillsAug 19, 20154 votes

[deleted]

THE SNEED MANAug 19, 201512 votes

omg really you gotta take it that way they condone it because not only do they eat meat but most of the league community eat meat so would u please stfu with this shit this isnt a vegetarian complaint forum this is a lol based food forum maybe they will make the red bramble back salad for u sometime but till then stop with this shit

Foreman GrillsAug 19, 20153 votes

[deleted]

Fin FerAug 19, 201541 votes

My friend, you're welcome to your own beliefs, but it is incorrect and unfair to impose them as moral absolutes. There is nothing wrong with eating other animals, and it is not by any means, as you say, murder. To murder is to kill another human. That is all. They may be innocent, but they do to need to be "guilty" to provide food to creatures who are omnivorous (like us) or carnivores. I understand you feel emotionally connected to them, but this is not the place to argue about vegitatianism. This is Riot. We should be complaining about why graves can't have a cigar ( Graves item 3070 ) .

Addendum: just because my friend above did not give an "articulate" comment, doesn't make his points any less valid

FoúrAug 19, 201511 votes

I believe the tear goes out of his eye item 3070 Graves

NinaviAug 19, 20153 votes

Making these this weekend probably :)

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 201510 votes

Be sure to send us pictures!

LeviathinCommandAug 19, 20151 votes

Glyceroll you are seriously awesome you are always on the forums... and i saw that you were majoring in something related to cooking so i assume you helped make these recipes with Mr.Kench?

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 201517 votes

Haha thanks!!

I'm majoring in Food Science right now and working in the NA Editorial/Publishing dept at Riot (makes SO much sense). The recipes were actually entirely the brainchild of Bioluminescence! I ate them though if that counts? TahmKench

FlippyGoneTrippyAug 19, 20151 votes

Man I want to make these. Sadly I have never tried Chicken Hearts and I don't know if I have the balls to. I think I will make the Krugettes though; if I do I plan on coming back with some pictures. ^^

Speaking of, I think some photos of these meals would have gone great in this thread. That food colouring lol.

RiotGlycerollAug 19, 201534 votes

Ask and ye shall recieve! (Super super poorly done pictures, pls don't judge too hard!)

Here's a picture of Amumoodles: http://i.imgur.com/g8SNbjp.png

and here's a picture of Krugettes: http://i.imgur.com/L5O68TB.jpg

FlippyGoneTrippyAug 19, 201512 votes

Rofl the amunoodles look freaking hilarious. Thanks for the pics ^^

Smite EzrealAug 19, 20151 votes

So this "Kalista kebab" Why food coloring? Do you even see blue color after "Browning" them or when they are done? Other than that sound cool, need to make that to my parents in 2 days when I visit them.

RiotBioluminescenceAug 19, 201513 votes

[{quoted}](name=Smite Ezreal,realm=EUW,application-id=2XjzURgc,discussion-id=u78pishu,comment-id=002d,timestamp=2015-08-19T21:18:12.479+0000)

So this "Kalista kebab" Why food coloring? Do you even see blue color after "Browning" them or when they are done? Other than that sound cool, need to make that to my parents in 2 days when I visit them.

The blue food coloring is for the wooden skewers - purely cosmetic so they look more like Kalista's spears. You can choose not to color them if the appearances aren't your main concern.