Boards›Story, Art, & Sound

Riot hates Marriage

Pollyanna Wright·7/23/2015, 9:47:36 AM·3 votes·3,130 views

Want proof? That's why you clicked this thread I hope, so lets go.

Currently we have 126 champions. Out of those, we have only two ( ) married right now.

Champions who either were or might of possibly been married are .

Out of those Varus and Lucian have dead wife syndrome, Kassadin's only clue is he might of had a daughter, and Lissandra had a love once.

When it comes to characters outside of the lore, we have no information on a good marriage aside from Ekko's parents existing.

Tahm ate a couple. J3 and Catherine is a political marriage. Vayne's parents died because her dad wouldn't cheat. Nidalee's parents died cuz treasure bitches! You don't even hear about Orianna's mom. Udyr's parents threw him into boarding school. Most of the Demacian characters don't even have parents (aside from Fiora's douchebag dad). Shen had a dad, no mom. Syndra didn't have any parents, only "elders". Katarina and Cass have a dad, no mom. Quinn has a mom. Leona had parents, but I dunno what they do now that she's the avatar of the sun.

Etc etc.

The only marriage we know of that exists right now and is "happy" is Ekko's parents. And that's only because we got that info in an AMA.

What the fuck.

Would not at least some of these champions have a marriage or parents that MATTER TO THEM?

79 Comments

Vistha Kai7/23/2015, 10:00:58 AM8 votes

Vayne's parents died, because she's Batman. Nidalee's parents died, because she's Tarzan. Orianna's a robot, c'mon. Syndra's parents are most likely still alive. Leona's parents belong to Rakkor tribe, not Solari.

At least bother to check the source, before spewing bullshit, please.

Trylobyte7/23/2015, 12:13:48 PM4 votes

There are a number of issues at work here.

Champions tend to be young, exceptional individuals dedicated to a single purpose or to an extremely high level of training. People with this sort of driven, single-focused personality are less likely to be in a relationship, especially young ones since they haven't had time to pursue one yet.
Many champions - Probably about a third of the roster - are simply unmarriageable, either due to biology or psychology. This would include children, the undead, Void monsters, psychopaths, recluses, and robots, among others. This also includes champions with an overpowering devotion to exactly one thing who couldn't notice romance if it shot them in the head, like Malzahar, Morgana, or Shen.
Some champions may be married, but there's no reason to mention their marriage. This is probably the biggest group. Like in comic books, parents and spouses are only going to be mentioned if they somehow matter to the character's story arc. Would being married have any effect on, say, Karma or Gangplank? No, not at all. So why bring it up? It's just a distraction from the story you want to tell.

GreenLore7/23/2015, 11:59:59 AM2 votes

You forgot Azir who had a wife(possibly even multiple ones)

Overall the thing is that most champs aren't married and there lies your problem,because the champions are the most important characters,so everyone else receives almost no focus at all.

You don't hear about Oriannas mom,because she didn't play a role in Oriannas creation,you wouldn't even hear anything about her "dad" if he wasn't the one who built her.

Now you do have a point in that almost no champion is married to someone(at least not to someone who is still alive),but that is probably more because making the champion single is a lot easier to write.You don't have to bother with the champions husband/wife when writing a story about him/her.

Not to mention that some champs are simply unlikely to have a love life simply based on their concept alone: I mean its no surprise that champs like Aatrox Bard Blitzcrank Galio aren't married,because they aren't even human,the concept of marriage(and maybe even love) doesn't exist for their kinds. And of course champs who are rather young like Annie , Ekko and maybe even Ezreal aren't married because they are still too young. Then there are champs who have become immortal in some form like Xerath Nasus Karthus Lissandra and unless their loved ones became immortal too,there is no way that they'd be still alive.

And then there are the ones where it is simply unlikely(although not impossible) that they'll marry someone based on their character alone I mean Varus for example doesn't seem to care about anything than vengance now,not many people would be insane enough to get into a relationship with DrMundo , Graves is a wanted criminal so a relationship with him would be difficult,etc.

HowPlayGAEM7/23/2015, 10:45:32 AM1 votes

[deleted]

Dextix LT7/23/2015, 7:49:17 PM1 votes

You know, i read all of this, and i am just laighing out loud.

In case you didnt know, you need a woman and a man to have a child. So you saying "X had only x" is bullshit, because at some point of ther lifes, they had both of the parents. Just because they arent mentioned doesnt mean they do not exist. Because someone had to "make" the children.

Please, come back when you go through sex ed, because i will reveal a secret.

Children are not brought to people by storks.

Centuros7/23/2015, 8:10:09 PM1 votes

Riot doesn't hate marriage, they dislike romantic relationships in general. Pretty sure almost everybody Blitzcrank's Fleshling Compatability Service matched up (not a lot) aren't still together today (except Rammus and he cactus, which is riot's otp), TF and Eve broke up, Ashe x Trynd might not be canon with the retcons, Lux x Ez are barely canon, if that, and still no mention of whether Taric actually HAS a sexual identity.

AMYS GRAVE7/23/2015, 8:17:09 PM1 votes

When it comes to characters outside of the lore, we have no information on a good marriage aside from Ekko's parents existing.

Well... every humaniod champions parents existed....

Charmed by Ahri7/24/2015, 2:38:12 AM1 votes

well if you get married, down the line, chances are you'll have a couple of kids and be sitting on the phone with 3/4th of your wine bottle gone saying something to likes of this https://bbbanality.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/child-proofed.jpg

Ironclad Dragon7/24/2015, 5:25:13 AM1 votes

Nothing but a troll, ladies and gentlemen, looking for attention. Move along. https://homeschoolersanonymous.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/1d38007b_tumblr_lh52r8ffry1qhwx3io1_500.gif

Rockman7/24/2015, 1:02:11 PM1 votes

Dextix LT needs to get laid

Melancholy Exile7/23/2015, 10:13:52 AM1 votes

It's not entirely clear what they're doing now, but Caitlyn's parents certainly played a role in getting her career started.
Annie's parents, potential retcons aside, are significant figures in the Voodoo Lands.
Marcus and Lilia Crownguard are members of the Demacian Legislative Council.

Revering7/23/2015, 10:35:20 AM1 votes

Tryndamere and Ashe are together!? I am officially looking up the fanfictions. summoner 30