New Champ lore and concept : Ni'ak

RaDat·11/1/2018, 11:39:08 PM·3 votes·2,712 views

Born in Piltover, Nik was always fond of protecting people and doing the right thing. While growing up he saw a boy fighting Spyros, just fighting with everything he got to survive, who was left by his own parents. Nik also saw that child being tossed down into Zaun by Spyros. Then he realized that there is nothing in this world that can be trusted and he devoted his whole time to studying. He surpassed everyone’s skill in making robots. He could have done anything with his robots but he decided to use the power to do help others. Most of this early life went roaming around the street trying to protect people with his inventions. He never asked for help, he had his robots to do everything for him. He invented the robot just for 2 reasons: - helping others and protecting him no matter what, as no one else can be trusted.

Then there was Nak who was complete opposite of Nik. He loved to see people suffer and didn’t trust anything expect his Falchion, who he thought will protect him from everything. Nak grew up in Zaun and his Falchion was invented by none other than Warwick. A single cut from his blade poisoned the person who is struck. Who ever held the sword started to get affected by the poison and get killed trying to use the sword. Nak being a child who got betrayed by his own parents and got tossed into Zaun, had nothing but rage in his heart. When Nak heard about the sword he compared his life to the sword, that how lonely that sword must be, as he has been Alone. With all the rage in his heart he held the sword, and for the first time in many years he felt something, he felt complete. It was almost like the sword was making his hand move.

Nik kept on saving people of while Nak kept attacking people stealing and killing whatever was precious to them. Nik giving people his inventions to give them someone to trust, giving them reason to trust something, while Nak took whatever they trusted the most, letting them know nothing lasts. Every night Nak dreamt about the day he fought Spyros. He dreams being beaten up by Spyros, he dreams being thrown down to Zaun, he dreams watching his parents run away, he dreams seeing a boy just standing in the corner watching him doing nothing. Nak then for the first time since that day, made his journey towards Piltover to end his nightmares by killing the things connected to that day.

He went killed Spyros with just a slash with his sword, he didn’t even have to hit him, he just swung sword towards him and Spyros started to cripple in his fear. Nak then just touched his sword Alongside both arms of Spyros making a very small wound on both arms. Spyros started screaming in pain, he couldn’t feel his arms anymore. Nak took Spyros’s arm because Spyros trusted his arms the most. He then left Spyros, knowing there is no cure for his arms and now he has to live without them.

Then he confronted his parents asking them why they left him there to die? When his parents saw him, they didn’t ask for forgiveness, they said “we know we did the wrong thing, but you don’t know the truth”. Hearing this Nak got more furious and started shouting “I don’t know what happened that day? HUH I WAS THERE THAT DAY I SAW EVERYTHING, there is nothing you could say that could deny that”. He said he is sorry and they shouldn’t have left him Alone before ending the lives of his own parents.

Then suddenly there was a bang on the door, though which Nik came forward. He shouted “You have suffered enough”. Nak looking at him remembered that he was the child that he saw that day. He got more furious and started running towards Nik destroying all robots with his sword and then finally slicing Nik’s heart open. Nik lying on ground said “So big brother, I guess this had to end this way. I am sorry that, that day parents chose to protect me over you. I saw you get beaten up and I cried. After that day I left our parents too, but now I realized that this was the best they could have done. I saw them cry every single day after that day. Please forgive parents, as they had no choice. I am sorry I hoped it was me that got left behind that day, not you." Nak after hearing this got down on his knees, completely emotionless, and slowly started to remember what actually happened that day. As Nak remembered, Nik’s robots came there and saw Nik lying down with his heart open. Nik’s instruction to robots was to protect him at all cost. So, they started to combine themselves into Nik but still half of his body didn’t function including the heart. Then the robots started cutting Naks body up and started stitching them into Nik.

Nak didn’t move at all from his spot, while the robots took him apart. As the robots were about to take out the heart, a tear dropped down from Naks eye. Confused, he used his hand to feel that tear drop coming out of his eye. Then suddenly all the emotions started pouring inside him and tears went on, till the robots finally took the heart out.

Nik woke up to find that he is still alive and he has his own robots and brother parts attached to him. He felt that he has something in his right hand. He lifted it up and saw his brothers Falchion in his hand.

He felt powerful and full of emotions that he never felt before.

He realized that he no longer the person he used to be, thus he changed his name to Ni'ak.

To this day, Ni’ak heart still pumps out his brothers’ emotions into his body.

Passive:- Every attack on champion or minion gives them poison stack. Every stack does more damage. Max 5 stacks. Whenever near ally minions his health regen gets reduced by small amount, when no ally minions are nearby his health regen goes back to normal.(as he trust no one not even his own minions)

Q:- he slashes his sword in front of him releasing poison in a conical shape, damaging and applying +1 stack of poison.

W:-he throws? His hand with sword in a straight line, connecting to the first thing it hits. If the connected thing is smaller than the thing he pulls them towards him and if its larger than the thing he gets pulled towards them. Damaging and applying +1 stack. Can interact with minions and walls. Minions being pulled to him and him being pulled towards the wall.

E:- he touches the ground with his sword, leaving a small trail of poison behind. Which damages the champ walking on it (only once) and applies +1 stack every second. He cant attack or use any other abilities while this is active. With slight movement speed increased.

R:- He shuts his robotic side down unleashing all the emotions of his brothers’ heart onto him, making the sword release more poison. Then he takes the sword and plunges it onto the ground creating an area of affect where everyone in it takes damage over time and shreds both armor and MR. Also at 5 stacks slightly reduces the movement speed of enemy. He can’t do anything while using this ability. After his used R his robotic side takes over for X seconds making all his abilities do reduced poison damage but making his robotic abilities stronger. Passive less damage no loss of health regen, Q less damage,W more damage pulling every champ to him,E less damage more speed.

hopefully you liked it. English is not my first language so there would be many errors, sorry for that. it still needs a lot of work. Thank you for reading, feel free to criticize in the comments below. [sg-ahri-2] might change names though

6 Comments

ff 20 please ty11/1/2018, 11:42:18 PM1 votes

Copies too much of other champions, seems like it is pretty good though change the skills just a tad and i would say it would be pretty good ( the ult is pretty good dont need to change that)

honor level 111/2/2018, 4:28:21 AM1 votes

make it be called ni'ka

rareform11/7/2018, 7:51:26 PM1 votes

Hey OP, I read through the concept. It's not bad, well in my opinion at least. I won't pretend I have any room to judge. I'm doing this review for the CCOS competition and want to give you some input on how to make this a better concept all around. And since English isn't your first language, good job by the way, I figured I could help you with wording to make it flow better. You don't need to make any of the changes I suggest, I'm just all about the flow so I want to make your kit flow. Let me know what you think.

Original

Passive:- Every attack on champion or minion gives them poison stack. Every stack does more damage. Max 5 stacks. Whenever near ally minions his health regen gets reduced by small amount, when no ally minions are nearby his health regen goes back to normal.(as he trust no one not even his own minions)

My edit

P: Spare Parts


Ni'ak picks up parts left behind after killing enemy units empowering his next auto attack. Minion parts add 5-40 + (x% of AD) on-hit physical damage. Large Monster parts add 10-75 + (x% of AD) on-hit physical damage. Champion parts add 50-150 + (x% of AD) on-hit physical damage. .

I chose to change up your poison passive and I plan to throw it back in later on down the road, but I really like a champion's main passive ability to be heavily related to the lore. It makes for a really cohesive kit, and one that you can take a lot of pride in. You need to imagine someone one-tricking your champ, give them something to love. This character by the end of the lore consists of robot and his brothers parts. That's his thing, he's made up of parts kind of like Urgot, but also kind of not. Let's make him use the parts to his advantage, and build a play style around it.

Original

Q:- he slashes his sword in front of him releasing poison in a conical shape, damaging and applying +1 stack of poison.

My edit

Q: Third Arm (couldn't think of a better name atm) | Cooldown 10 seconds at all ranks


Ni'ak creates a third arm that increases his attack speed by x% for 6 seconds. .

This was also a complete overhaul of your ability. Your ability wan't bad, but I couldn't think of why you wanted it. Understanding why a champion has an ability makes a kit better. Again Ni'ak from my perspective is all about these spare parts. So it would be cool if he used his robot building skills to aid him in battle. With his W ability helping him stay in melee range it makes sense to have a melee empowering kit.

Original

W:-he throws? His hand with sword in a straight line, connecting to the first thing it hits. If the connected thing is smaller than the thing he pulls them towards him and if its larger than the thing he gets pulled towards them. Damaging and applying +1 stack. Can interact with minions and walls. Minions being pulled to him and him being pulled towards the wall.

My edit

W: Steel Tether | Cooldown 16/14/12/10/8 seconds


Ni'ak whips his sword arm in a target direction elongating his reach. A target impaled by the sword is pulled toward Ni'ak. However if the target is larger, Ni'ak will pull himself towards it. Imapling an enemy unit deals 75-200 + (x% of AD) as physical damage. .

I didn't reall have a change for this ability other than the wording. Again I don't judge you for your wording, I understand English is not your first language I just want to help out. I think this wording is a little more clear.

Original

E:- he touches the ground with his sword, leaving a small trail of poison behind. Which damages the champ walking on it (only once) and applies +1 stack every second. He cant attack or use any other abilities while this is active. With slight movement speed increased.

My edit

E: Trailblaze | Cooldown 12/11/10/9/8 seconds


Ni'ak dashes forwards dragging his sword behind him leaving a trail of poison for 2 seconds. Enemies that walk over the poison trail are afflicted taking 45-125 + (x% of AP) magic damage over 4 seconds. The timer is reset each second the enemy remoains in contact with the poison trail. .

Besides the fact that your original ability was singed poison trail almost exactly just re-mapped to the E button, poison trail is a really hard mechanic to play around. It's different and unique, but in order for the kit to flow I wanted to re-invent the ability. The way I suggested gives Ni'ak the much needed mobility. With a kit that plays around collecting parts from fallen enemies and keeping melee range with enemies, Ni'ak needs another reliable source of making that happen. This abaility will have a short cooldown at max rank and 40% CDR. I incorporated the poison trail in this ability because it was cool I liked that part.

Original

R:- He shuts his robotic side down unleashing all the emotions of his brothers’ heart onto him, making the sword release more poison. Then he takes the sword and plunges it onto the ground creating an area of affect where everyone in it takes damage over time and shreds both armor and MR. Also at 5 stacks slightly reduces the movement speed of enemy. He can’t do anything while using this ability. After his used R his robotic side takes over for X seconds making all his abilities do reduced poison damage but making his robotic abilities stronger. Passive less damage no loss of health regen, Q less damage,W more damage pulling every champ to him,E less damage more speed.

My edit

R: External Abandon | Cooldown 160/120/80 seconds


(.75 second cast) Ni'ak sheds his robotics releasing his built up emotion into his sword, and impales it into the ground beneath him spreading pain throughout a large area around him for 8 seconds, dealin 50 + (% of AP) magic damage to all enemies within. During this time fallen enemies within the area are re-animated as robots that fight for Ni'ak. The re-animated robots deal 50% of Ni'ak's AD, and will remain until killed. .

I think thematically your Ult hit the spot. I just wanted to stray from poison and keep up with the robotic side of the champion. There still is the poison aspect of this ability however it is not the highlight, unless you were to build full AP so I gave it AP scaling.

I hope you like what you see. I don't want to take away from your creation, rather to build on it. I also like to layout my concepts in this manner to help the flow as you read through it. Enjoy!