Hill Billy Garen (A.S.A.P)

Banjo for a sword. Plaid shirt, straw hat, tight jeans and fashionable Cowboy resembling high top boots. Hill Billy Garen. Hill. Fricken. Billy. Fracken. Garen. Slams his sword. Instead of the familiarly loud clang! of cold steel being suplex'd against terrain (??? wtf rito,) you hear BOING!

Let's make this happen. Now.