Hey! Looks like your new to the boards, so if you have any questions please ask me.
Also, for the feedback, don't feel obligated to change Dastan into MY character. Its just feedback and you know your character better than I, so I suggest you take serious consideration into my reply but don't feel like you have to change it all.
Anyways, I'll go in order of your kit, because you don't have much more in this concept.
Passive: The sands of time
after Dastan dies he can take the time back with his dagger fully restoring his HP and Mana (200 second CD).
Okay so this ability is most definitely over powered. That doesn't mean you need to remove it or completely rework it.
If you compare Dastan's Sands of Time passive to other revival passives like Anivia's or Zac's, his passive not only has no delay, but it also COMPLETELY restores his health and mana while having a lower cooldown. In every way this passive is better than Anivia and Zac's.
And unlike Anivia or Zac's, this ability doesn't have much counterplay. With Zac, you can kill the green bloblets before he revives. With Anivia, you can destroy her egg before she revives. But with Dastan? He just immediately gets up without his enemy able to do anything.
You should do a few things for this passive:
- Increase the CD
- Give it some delay where the enemy can stop your revival. Currently his passive cannot ever and will not ever fail, as long as its off cd.
- And base how much health and mana he gets off how well the enemy tried to stop your survival. Anivia gets more health, the more health her egg had. Zac gets more health, the more bloblets that reformed at his position.
Q Power of the medallion:
passive: every 6th attack prince will use the power of his medallion and create an explosion which will deal damage to enemies around him
active: after using this ability prince will hold his swords and counter the next attack or ability of the enemy stunning them and dealing true damage
I really like parry abilities, so this one I'm instantly more interested in. The passive seems like its gating his windows of burst, which is alright, although there are more interesting ways to gate how often you can do burst. The active is cool, although it would NEED some sort of delay.
There are abilities like this in the game Battlerite. Its one of my favorite things about Battlerite. However the reason that this type of parry works in Battlerite and not League is because in Battlerite you can cancel spells that you were casting up until the last moment. And in Battlerite, everything can be dodged.
So as long as the Q Active has a delay, its a fine ability.
W:Dancing Sword
prince will throw his weapon at enemies dealing damage and slowing them also skill can be reactivated and prince will jump into the location of the weapon he throw
A simple gap closer that gives me a cool picture in mind. This ability doesn't make me think of him as "The Prince of Persia" or any sort of magical sorcerer from the desert. It seems like Dastan is supposed to be a Slayer, which is a new class label. And this works okay for him, although unless the ability is relatively low CD, Dastan is almost never going to escape enemies after he dives in.
I'm not sure what the range of this ability is, but maybe you could make it a shorter ranged dash that resets if you land the sword throw. Currently Dastan doesn't require any skill except timing his ultimate and timing his Q.
Because you didn't give me any numbers for any of the abilities, I can't really tell how much damage or what the size of his W is.
E:Wrath of Prince
prince will gain a huge amount of attack speed and move speed for a few seconds
This ability is pretty boring to say it honestly. Its just two stats you get for a few seconds.
I think this ability could be so much more interesting, because honestly any fighter could speed up for a few seconds. But we're talking about The Wrath of the Prince, which should show how devastating his power is.
I highly suggest you change this ability.
R:Mask of the wraith
prince will put his mask on reducing the sight of all enemies for a short time and dealing a huge amount of damage to enemies nearby for a few seconds.
This ability, while really cool and thematic, is too similar to Nocturne's ultimate.
Maybe you could reduce the sight of a single enemy? Or have a patch of Fog of War following you around so enemies can't see you for some time, but they can see the Fog?
The damage over time around him seems sort of wierd and tacked on. You don't need to completely remove the damage but you should make it more burst than DoT as Dastan isn't very durable from kit alone, and needs to kill people quickly.
If you wanted Dastan to be more durable, you should give him some sort of damage mitigation like a shield, specifically say so, or nerf his passive. One of the reasons Anivia is an incredibly squishy champion, and has super low defensive stats is because of her passive. Because she has a revival passive, to make her fair, they gave her really low defensive stats. The same would most likely apply to Dastan, to a lesser extent.
Overall Dastan is real cool. I would love to see a character like him, he reminds me of Sandstorm Ekko but as a champion.
However I'd like to note a few things:
- Dastan couldn't be the next champion because champions often take many months, even a year, to make. Dastan would have to have been in production for many months before now.
- You should not reference him as the Prince of Persia because Persia does not exist in League lore. You could easily place him in Shurima however, which is heavily inspired by Egypt, Persia, and other countries of Earth.
- You should really format your post more. If you look at this champion concept, by clicking the gold text, you can scroll down and see how some formatting goes a long way in making a champion concept easier to read. If your concept isn't well formatted, people are less likely to read it because its harder to read, and chances are if you didn't spend much time on the formatting you didn't spend much time on the character concept.
- You have a lot of thoughts to write down, so you should expand Dastan. Write some lore, even if its short, and try to make it new, try to stray away from cliche as Dastan's base character is pretty generic already. Maybe find some art for him too. Whatever you do, you should give champion concept making another try as it can be really fun!
I hope my feedback helped!
