Ranchero Braum?

So I've been thinking about this for a while now. Braums a really fun to play champ, and while I don't know his positioning in "pick-ability" in ranked Q's, I do know I see him often in normals and even in ARAM(Albeit this is random I feel like it does indeed favour certain champs).

So I've been thinking. Braum is the Poro King... So....

Why is there no Ranchero Braum?

Where instead of his shield he has a pasture gate or barn door, considering Dragonslayer Braum has a door I feel this is reasonable. He could lob a ferocious Poro, possibly one of the poison Poro's from Blitz's Roundup (If you guys have played it you know what I'm talking about!). When he goes to jump to another player, a Ram-like Poro shoots outta the ground and ramps his head into Braums well defined tooshie, lobbing Braum to his intended target! WHEN HE SUMMONS HIS SHIELD! A LITTLE ANGEL PORO COULD DESCEND FROM THE HEAVENS AND CAST ITS GLORIOUS LIGHT WHERE THE PALING IS INTENDED TO BE!

And, my favorite though... When Braum ult. A cute little hoard of poros come running out of his gate, running over Braums back and shoulders, eating grass and bowling under enemies knocking them up and getting stuck in the mud that has resulted from the removal of the grass (yeah I know this part might need work...)

I don't know if it's been suggested, I imagine it has... But. I just really wanna see it...