I told a player to stop with the negative attitude

IcyPepper·Jun 6, 2018·68 votes·16,887 views

He actually apologized to the (admittedly underperforming, and quite likely stressed) Lucian and stopped being a negative Nancy for the rest of the game.

[sg-janna]

What alternate reality is this?

46 Comments

Zombie GerbilJun 6, 201829 votes

Some people can come to an understanding if asked right without any ill intent in your request. Players are humans too.

But I agree... that is rare.

Von EverlyJun 7, 201814 votes

[zombie-brand-mindblown]

THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE, HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE

AneirinJun 6, 201810 votes

[sg-zephyr]

ShaolinToiletJun 7, 20183 votes

I've had multiple people add me after games and apologize for being toxic. Hasnt happened in a while though

Eternal TormentJun 7, 20183 votes

[sg-ahri-1] dark magicks are at work here

ModiJun 6, 20182 votes

Told, or asked nicely?

HighwiseeneJun 7, 20182 votes

A slight tangent here: I've been told to "stop being negative" quite a few times in my life(not league), and i've never really understood why people say it. It's not like I can change the way I view things just off of one statement. I just can't ever see anything going well for me ever in my life since nothing has ever gone well for me in the past, so that attitude transfers over to league.

On a side note, negativity in chat is stupid, there's no point in saying stuff like "gg we lost" or "bot too fed gg", it won't help anyone.

CaveslothJun 7, 20181 votes

True, but sometimes people just need a slight nudge to correct their behavior. It's rare these days, but as one of the people that have had that said to them and its worked, I have to say I appreciated the effort.

IcyPepperJun 7, 20182 votes

There's a difference between being negative and taking out your frustrations on others (flaming, essentially).

The guy was laying it on a little thick because our Lucian wasn't doing so hot, so I asked him to stop. Surprisingly, it worked.

Lincoln Hawk Jun 8, 20181 votes

{quoted}

There's a difference between being negative and taking out your frustrations on others (flaming, essentially).

The guy was laying it on a little thick because our Lucian wasn't doing so hot, so I asked him to stop. Surprisingly, it worked.

I don't understand the wasted/cost of time to be negative that could have been used to better the team or try. At the end of the day it's just a game

DoormakerJun 7, 20181 votes

Naymlyss, on your tangent, from my limited experience, in my personal opinion:

When people say that they themselves are ‘positive’ or ‘negative’, they usually mean that they tend to be that way relative to other people, rather than to whatever the ‘objective truth’ of a situation is. In my experience, pretty much everyone more or less see’s themselves as realists--If you asked someone why they are they way they are, they’ll generally give you a reasonable justification for it. For example; some version of “I’m positive because I’m confident I can succeed or that I can accept the failure.” or “I’m negative because experience has taught me to brace against general problems that are specifically unpredictable.” Occasionally you get something like “I like the effect it has on other people.”, but the more the situation personally matters, the less common that tends to be.

Which is all to say, if people are telling you to “Stop being negative”, and you think you’re simply being rational--then I wouldn’t look at it as a 'view' or 'attitude' issue; It’s a communication one. As you said, you likely can’t (and probably shouldn’t) make massive, sudden shifts to your worldview based on flippant remarks from others. In my opinion however, you can and should try to get good at being able to quickly adjust how you communicate to people--being effective at tailoring your communications to the person you’re talking to is a pretty damn strong advantage for the people who can do it well, regardless of their perspective, values, or goals.

Something I try to communicate when I’m told that I’m being negative is that I’m pointing out problems because I really care about succeeding and want to ensure they’re overcome. Offering solutions or alternatives is an important follow up, though. Those more positive then me seem to generally understand and appreciate it, and it makes it clear I'm not just being negative for the sake of bringing them down. If people tell me I’m being overly positive, I tend to try to get feedback on any potential pitfalls I may have overlooked, and rational people more negative than me generally either, at worst, appreciate working through the issue, or at best, help me avoid mistakes I didn't see. Either way, the trick is focusing on what works for the person you’re talking to, and explaining the things you think in a way they’ll understand--not necessarily the way that’s easiest for you to understand.

On the other hand, if your being negative is defeatism or depression: People are saying that to you because they want to see you succeed but aren’t really sure how to help you. If you’ve ever known someone who lost someone they loved, I’m sure you know the sickening feeling of helplessness that hits while you’re fumbling through words you know won’t help. Be kind to them: Be super clear on exactly what you need("I just need someone to listen, not give advice," or "I need a hug," or "I need a distraction," are some examples). Either way however, if you don’t think your general world view is helpful to survival and success, than that’s a cycle to try to interrupt. It never feels either worth the effort or possible to break when you’re in it; So it takes a bit of blind faith in future you to try, or at least valuing the sincere attempt to overcome it regardless of the outcome. You should talk to:

Emotionally intelligent people who are healthy for you to be around, who can help you support yourself till you’re able to be the one helping others,
People who are succeeding in the things you want to succeed at, till you're the one teaching,
Yourself, saying positive things you don’t believe, till you make them true. Accept that you'll take help, and justify getting it by making sure you pay it forward someday, with interest. You certainly aren't alone, and someone down the road will need your help. Also, if nothing else, it is genuinely shocking how much getting enough sleep, exercise, and food can make things better.

TLDR: I think people tell you to "Stop being negative" because their approach to life different, not because your approach is wrong. Think you're right not to flip your views every time someone says you should. That said, it's worth the effort to get good at making their views feel understood--they'll understand you better that way, and won't think you're 'just being negative'. If you're actually depressed though, find people who help you help yourself.

Either way, good luck! Appreciate you reading my opinions.

fatherdariusJun 7, 20182 votes

[Insert random permabanned guy's comment]: "Yeah, but I'll bet you STILL reported him anyway, right? Yer all SJW liberal white knights with nano-meter thin skin, blah blah..."

The best White Night evar:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2887/9316044012_f8c2e4c02b.jpg

[slayer-jinx-wink]

Hay5eedJun 7, 20182 votes

I try not to be toxic but that doesn't mean I'll pamper you.

If I see you do a stupid play and get killed, I'll tell you.

Sometimes it can get a bit ruff though. Someone reminding me that it is all a game is sometimes what I need to not be so negative.

Still...had a freaking rageblade TF go 0/6 in lane against anivia......he even asked us "So I should build rageblade?" and I told him "god no" and our garen said "Stop with the trolling"...what does he build? rage blade.

IcyPepperJun 7, 20181 votes

If I see you do a stupid play and get killed, I'll tell you.

That's fine. There's been times where I misplay and I appreciate a correction, and other times I do something blatantly stupid and just laugh with the guy over it.

VelasanJun 8, 20181 votes

Your view of pampering someone is literally just not to tell them off when you get frustrated that they don't do what you say? That's how toxicity gets started in the first place. You don't need to tell someone every time they do something bad. Can you imagine in real life if all day someone hung over your shoulder, telling you every negative thing you were doing? That doesn't lead to any positive outcome.

XxDRAGONsAK47xXJun 7, 20182 votes

wwait wtf???

That worked??

Whenever I do that they tell me to like die or something. Or drown. Or die in some way.

Or curse me.

Mr YediJun 7, 20182 votes

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

VelasanJun 8, 20182 votes

{quoted}

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

QFT. So many people forget this.

TonyTonyMordecaiJun 7, 20182 votes

That player deserves a big delicious cookie

IcyPepperJun 7, 20182 votes

He deserves the biggest tbh

VelasanJun 8, 20182 votes

Yeah believe it or not there are people out there who just play the game normally. I'm not a toxic player at all either, but then I also don't really like to chat during games.

I want to focus on what I'm doing and kill enemy champions. Mostly use pings for what I want to communicate. Some people just have a chip on their shoulder and a point to prove, even if they happen to be trying to vindicate that point in the middle of a League game. Sometimes you just need to ignore that stuff and move on and show them that you don't come to play League to hear other people complain.

Anyways, good on them for being a positive influence and being open to communication.

Troll for TrumpJun 7, 20181 votes

So you just assume the toxic people aren't just also stressed and underperforming.

IcyPepperJun 7, 20181 votes

No, I have no idea where you're coming from with that. It's a joke about how people who take out their stress on others don't usually just snap out of it when told to do so.

I was pleasantly surprised. It's not something you see often, even in real life and outside of league, but it speaks volumes of that player's maturity to get himself out of a funk and focus on the game. Not many people do that. I'm not even sure I could do that.

Troll for TrumpJun 7, 20181 votes

Because not snapping out it and being able to snap out of it is just based on disposition.

IcyPepperJun 8, 20182 votes

I'm not really enjoying the snippy comments, friend. This post was intended, even in a humorous fashion, to be an overall positive one. One of those "you don't see that everyday."

If you just want to be rude to me, I ask that we just end this conversation. Otherwise, feel free to converse in a civil manner with everyone else.

Troll for TrumpJun 9, 20181 votes

They aren't snippy. Don't throw a fit whenever someone disagrees with your viewpoint.

If you don't want to discuss, then by all means, stop replying.

No flash no lifeJun 7, 20181 votes

How is this possible? You sure you were playing in NA server? @_@

vvStar ScreamvvJun 7, 20181 votes

He shouldnt have stopped you are evidently a fake ass positive person like the rest of this troll community.

IcyPepperJun 7, 20189 votes

Fake ass positive beats negativity, at least. Even if the smile is fake, it's certainly better than beating up someone who's already feeling bad. Gotta keep that stiff upper lip.

vvStar ScreamvvJun 7, 20182 votes

No id prefer people not to lie. being fake is lying. why cant you say what you are thinking? if you dont wanna hear it not like someones got a digital gun to your head.

DrCyanideJun 7, 20189 votes

Why can't you say what you're thinking in a constructive way? Change the way you say what you're thinking and the result is more positive.

vvStar ScreamvvJun 7, 20182 votes

because its more lies if people believe everyone responds to constructive criticism. more thank likely you are talking to a teenager with a childish mentality or an adult with one. most people in this community dont wanna hear what you have to say even if it would make them win because they think they are right. so you should just say what you want. they dont wanna hear it there is a mute button installed for everyone.

DrCyanideJun 7, 20183 votes

Who said anything about expecting everyone to respond to it? Do you expect everyone to respond to you blurting out whatever comes to your mind? By stating there's a mute button you obviously don't believe that approach works for everyone either. The goal is to get more people to respond, which improves the game for everyone and also improves your own odds of winning.

Just change how you say what you're thinking and you've improved the community and improved your odds of winning. It's a win-win instead of a lose-lose.

AkheteruJun 7, 20183 votes

I'm pretty sure that player who's 0/10/1 that I'd be offering constructive criticism and/or helpful advice to... that guy knows he's not right. Because, you know... he's 0/10/1. I'll bet if I can offer him a possible way to turn his match around, and I'm not a dick about it, he just might take it.

Based on your attitude in this thread, I'm also pretty sure if you were the 0/10/1 guy and someone offers you some help, you'll flame him in /all chat, get muted and reported.

IcyPepperJun 7, 20182 votes

why cant you say what you are thinking?

Because I have a filter and if I said everything I was thinking people would think I'm a childish brat with no self-control? Not to mention I'd get chat restricted and possibly banned if I said every negative thought I had ever?

BLIGHTBRINGERJun 7, 20181 votes

I wish I could come across players like that who would stop being toxic, or in my case recently the enemy fiora was specifically trying to tilt me just because she's better than me (because of her KDA). I dislike negative arrogant people like that.

xXLuckylenny7XxJun 7, 20181 votes

This is not about the discussion that you are talking about but why the fuck does the devs lock u out of games for 5 to 10 mins because u didn't get enough time to choose a champion this fucking bullshit better be fixed cause every fucking day this happens to me. Also, I choose a fucking champion but then someone else swapped it with mine in draft pick this is the most fucking horse shit thing cause i choose that champion first

rtbf90661456Jun 7, 20181 votes

Did you get chat restricted for it? :^]

Check "/memes and games/greentext" basically did what you did and got chat restricted imfao

MagicalDemonsJun 7, 20181 votes

this is a player who has had chat restrictions in the past and didn't want to get reported again in case he got banned lol

IcyPepperJun 7, 20181 votes

Whatever his motives, he had the emotional maturity to snap out of a funk. Mad respect.

HalcyonDwellerJun 8, 20181 votes

That's awesome, congrats!

AntelathJun 8, 20181 votes

{quoted}

He actually apologized to the (admittedly underperforming, and quite likely stressed) Lucian and stopped being a negative Nancy for the rest of the game.

[sg-janna]

What alternate reality is this?

/r/ThatHappened

The Goodest BoyJun 8, 2018

you must have absorbed all the good karma in the world. I asked for a gank from my jungle last game and our support immediately said "shut the fuck up fizz."

enjoy it while it lasts!

Lincoln Hawk Jun 8, 20182 votes

[{quoted}](name=The Goodest Boy,realm=NA,application-id=ZGEFLEUQ,discussion-id=fv3Ad2cL,comment-id=0016,timestamp=2018-06-08T00:57:47.907+0000)

you must have absorbed all the good karma in the world. I asked for a gank from my jungle last game and our support immediately said "shut the fuck up fizz."

enjoy it while it lasts!

Lol, sorry but I found this funny - thanks for the needed laugh +1

The Goodest BoyJun 9, 20181 votes

not a problem, I'm glad I gave you a laugh. (I find it funny too... now that the games OVER)