How to get out of elo Hell or how to pro troll. Thread to bronze / silver / gold

Ok I have been playing Lol since 2011, I thought it would be a good idea to share my experience with some goal oriented people and start a discussion about how to get out of elo Hell or How to become a pro troll. Quick definition : elo hell to me is bronze + silver + GOLD leagues. Yes gold is elo Hell to me.

First of all let's motivate this discussion by stating why you would want to get out of elo hell. To me the answer is obvious: to have fun. To play actual challenging games with skilled people and have real fun. Why? because up until you get to plat i.e. up until you get out of elo Hell you are playing with un-mannered, disrespectful players that do not know the meaning of perfecting everything you do in life even playing a free game in a random server. my choice as a hobby is to play this game, which I think is as valuable as any other hobby provided you keep out of addiction. This is not to castigate the newbies but rather to separate the newbies from the noobs (noob = newbie + idiot that is somebody that will not learn). So goal is: get out of elo hell to have fun but before you get to plat, ranked is nothing else but win or lose (NOT for fun).

a little bit about me:
I have been playing Lol since 2011, I got more than 20 perma banned accounts. The only reason, I have this last one left is because verbal abuse is punished with chat restriction and not time ban anymore. That being said I am chat restricted for 600 games in this account. Yes you nailed it I am really not idiot (noob) resistant. The highest I reached was gold 2 just because I got there after placement matches 9/10 wins. because after that everything is demotion and demotion until bronze 5. why? I intentionally feed, I ruin games in other common words I troll hard. I learned throughout the years how to troll perfectly, only thing that was betraying me up until now was my chat but now it is resolved with the new system.

Some tips on how to pro troll: 1- you pick a champ that you played at least 100 games with (if you never played more than 100 games with 1 champ, you should not be in ranked and you should not read this) 2-you take smite and teleport 3- you start with boots you run to turret get yourself low and head to their jungle where they all prolly are. 4- tp fast and do it again 5- walk again and do it 3rd time 6- Head to bot lane and make it 3 in lane. do not let the adc take a single cs 7- never say anything in chat that will prove you are trolling ( I personally do insult but again this is a weakness if you can keep off from doing it you're golden) 8- If the adc tries to leave lane you follow him. 9- If the support leaves lane you follow him. it's 3 in lane or adc solo. 10- if adc is alone and support settles in another lane like mid or went afk; go slow the jungler down with your smite 11- make sure to answer to their "why do you do that" saying : "I am bronze / silver / gold don't expect me to be pro I am doing my best" 12- do not interfere in fights unless you want to steal a kill. Watch them die. 13- Make sure to be at the same death score than your worst ally. you started with 3 deaths early game if anyone of your allies goes to 4 go die on purpose. 14- I like picking garen because I steal kills much easier. So steal kills and make sure to starve your team. 15- if anybody says anything wrong like "can you report him" or insults you or goes afk make sure you report them after game respectively for negative attitude, verbal abuse, grieving assisting enemy team (going afk on purpose). People voting in tribunal vote punish all the time without properly reviewing the case so take a chance; you got 80% chance to get him banned. On the other hand if your name does not show up you'll get pardoned
16- do not forget to vote "NO" for surrender. that'll make teammates rage and you get your chat proofs for reports.

I've been doing this for the whole season 3 and 4. I got zero (0) actual bans (only chat restriction and again you can even avoid that). They can't ban you as there is no proof in chat. those that record games and send an actual report to riot are rare and not considered most of the time. Moreover, 99% players that earned this loss (that triggered the trolling mode) end up either going afk, verbal abuse or feed themselves which means straight academic ban against them. Also because I am a good player I don't finish games less than 200 cs never. and rarely finish negative (even in troll games as I steal kills). So it's even better for your own immunity and the reports against allies.

Reasons I do that: 1- not tard resistant. 2-not in ranked to have fun until I get to plat 3-make sure I don't give noobs free wins carry them and take the risk of running into them in another game 1 month down the road, bronze shall remain in bronze. I can win games by myself later even if takes 20 years to do it.

Triggers: 1- 75% of my games since 2011 that is more than 5K games were lost due to pre-game chat. Reasons for this are: a) Allies picking champs like teemo, zilean mid, soraka top, lulu top, yi mid, lucian top, alistar top, kennen adc etc.etc.. You are not good enough for exotic metas that's why you are in bronze/silver/gold. So if you make this kind of picks it tells me that you are selfish and you want to have fun in my ranked game. Consequently I will do the same that is: be selfish and have fun my way as well. b) Pick order not calls: picking a position that was already picked. It tells me the player is not willing to win. Not only will I gladly help him lose but I will ensure he gets focused on the trolling and gets an academic report filed against him with proofs. c) Players Starting wars in chat first thing, like criticize bans or anything else. As if bans were important in elo Hell. I personally always ban against my allies not enemies to enhance our chances and my chances of not trolling I start banning teemo then lulu then yi/zilean just for my teammates not to pick them.

2-When game starts, someone insults you or even worse starts team tagging you with his duo or even better someone, prolly a united nations fella wannabe, that thinks he should speak up for justice and takes a side in a talk between you and an ally even worse you and an enemy.

3- someone that sells you to enemy team. Starts to moan in all chat about another teammate or yourself. as a matter of fact anything in all chat that's not mocking enemy team is not acceptable. Enemy team does not care about your issues, they want to win! (I am talking ranked here) The funniest is when you start feeding and an ally asks enemy team to stop feeding on you for the sake of fairness IN RANKED!!!! Hello???!!? this is ranked! Even funnier some enemy players actually stop taking the kills, what you gotta do in this case is just hit him and force him to kill you but I found it was worthless because usually when they act fair, they are bad. My suggestion in this case: switch target and go feed someone else.

4- If Junlger is total useless, or if jungler taking the kill during gank or if jungler not giving you blue as ap mid he's not allowed to tax your lane with cs. If that ever happens head confident towards a Straight loss because he's not gonna let you carry anyways.

5- A Support is taking cs in the middle of the game, after his lane is done he thinks he can play marksman now. Support time is over!?! Hellooooo? I saw you. you lost! I mean seriously, he picks support then he takes cs? when his team is fighting over cs or fighting against enemy in another lane? come on there is always something to do for a support. drop wards? use yourself as a ward? anything but taking cs...

6-Somebody heavily feeding like adc but still overextends. After you clearly warned him and commanded that he stays under turret (kindly), he still overextends to take cs thinking he needs the cs to be useful. You kindly ask a heavy feeder to stay back, you tell him that you don't need his help that you only need him not to harm you. He still over extends and dies (4th or 5th time like 0 5 0) what else can you do but prevent this guy from playing with you in another game tomorrow. As he's not ready to learn, only thing you can do is keep him in bronze. Engage troll mode.

7- 99%, virtually all games in bronze / silver are won with hp not damage. People missing most of their skill shots will not go back and disengage, they will stay and fight and wait for their cool down, that's how elo hell people think. Therefore they need the sustain preferably HP. They are in bronze silver gold they don't understand that it's FINE. As usual, you kindly inform them. You tell him for instance that building full damage on lee sin or J4 or even lux renek anybody is not for him it's for pros, he should not copy builds blindly even if it's pro builds because that's precisely what's making him fall off now. He argues and says team does not peel.... Peel???? You reply and tell him that he doesn't have teammates as he is not in a team he could be dead after this game in real life nobody would care about his pathetic life. He is with 4 strangers whose purpose is to win a ranked game, you tell him he needs to stop building damage because without his hp he cant get into fights and use his damage he dies picked off or focused on first thing in 1 second fight. After that he insults you or ignores you and still builds damage. I usually give him about 1 more death after that it's game over.

8- You are winning in team fights and an ally decides to start split pushing for no reason....Just because he watched a pro game and he thinks his champ needs to split push or for whatever reason I mean who knows what is going on in his elo hell head. So again same process, you always start kindly asking him to stop doing that otherwise he is leading you to think that he is willing to have fun and to experience new stuff in ranked which is unacceptable. He ignores you sometimes insults you, he consciously decided to lose. Help him out!

Recommendation to elo hell allies 1- do not open your mouth in pre game chat, as a matter of fact do not talk at all unless it is to say something smart and productive that will improve game play. Nobody needs your elo hell suggestion on how to ban or how to play. You can just give tips on how to coordinate the game play with you, and share some concise and precise facts on how your little brain works. This is all what's relevant and should ever be allowed. Otherwise know that people like me with 4 years of Lol experience are around and can smell the noob in you even at continents distance. These "evil people" like me do not tolerate noobs although they are very ok with newbies. Unlike you, These "evil people" do not see Elo hell Lol ranked games as an opportunity to make friends, they have their lives and friends and if they need new ones they can go to a bar or meetic whichever works for them.
2- Make sure you learn to play a classic champ in its classic lane at least 100 games normal. No cheese, no exotic meta in ranked. This is not for fun. You are here to win or lose. 3- Cs is taken very seriously, especially when you are useless, do not handicap your team. Just stay away from it. Leave it to who it belongs to, you have better things to do elsewhere in map than take somebody else's cs

Recommendation to the Trolls like me: 1- somebody that starts pre game chat saying "hello how are you" is not an ally you want to be with. He didn't go through the frustration of being long enough in elo Hell to be willing to win at any cost. Meaning he did not play enough games to be in ranked. he could be just a newbie not a noobbut I usually don't take the risk so I give ultimatum and command him to dodge then I troll pick. The ally ends up dodging after insults etc. otherwise it's another loss but who cares you'll get lots of them anyways. 2-As soon as your match is found you do your bans or pick your champ and leave the lobby (try not to read their chat don't participate in discussions), you don't want to read anything else as it will just reveal how noobs they are and lead you to troll since minute 1. You might wanna give it a fair try sometimes you never know who's on the other side (enemy team) they may be even more stupid. 3- Regardless of your position you never support never! that's the only exception to the other rules that apply to yourself as well. But you let them know first thing and say "I will not support don't say I did not warn".

That's all I can think of for now I'll update this post if anything else or new pops up.
Oh yeah, I just wanted to mention few personal things about myself for those of you who still have doubts about my motivations I am in my early 30s I am married I've been playing starcraft broodwar, dota, sc 2 and now LOL. I am a professional, working for the largest construction Company in Canada making 110K a year. I love my family, my family loves me and other than gaming my hobbies would be reading, writing scratch on my guitar, gym, volunteering, travel. My last trip was in Vegas. If you ever happen to go there, go see Absinthe the show. It is delightful although a little salty. I speak 4 languages, I rarely watch TV. I have my circle of friends none of them share my passion for gaming and I think it's better this way. I don't want it to be a predominant thing of my life. But I do take it seriously again just because I think you should aim for perfecting whatever you do in life no matter what it is. Basis of building a healthy society to me is start by respecting the competence (time spent perfecting something) no matter what it is. If you spend time doing it then it's worth to give it a fair shot. do I think I am a troll? Definitely not. I think the actual trolls are the unproductive unamannered toxic players that you can't talk to that can't learn that would tell you in game things like get a life QQ u mad bro get laid, when they actually don't have a life, friends or a job themselves to backup their words. Learn to play instead of spending time learning the noob quotes
I never thought I would spend 2 hours of my work time writing this down, like I said I strive for keeping my gaming experience where it belongs...but then it is a slow day and really I mean after almost 4 years of this game it's time to say something.

Stay tuned