Boards›[ARCHIVED] Miscellaneous

I sat back for a moment and thought about my previous actions

Durty Rotten Kid·7/18/2015, 10:53:00 PM·5 votes·738 views

Earlier in the week, maybe about 4 days ago, i had gotten a 14 days suspension, because of this, i had gotten upset.. I felt it was unfair, as i was labeled toxic. I hadn't thought i was toxic, and wanted to talk to tribunal. I wanted to understand Why i was Getting such a hard time. Thats when they had sent me my chat log. Though i hadn't been yelling or talking smack. I had done not much to provide my team with a positive match. I was trying to teach them something that was beyond them, While trying to play with a team that was beyond me. I had not acted toxic, Or seemed toxic, But i was boiling in poison. Reading it later when i had calmed down made me realize the reason the ban took place. I needed a break, that much was obvious. This time i had been on the worst losing streak of league history, I had been spending too much time observing my enemy then seeing my teams needs, and maybe a better angle of trying to earn their trust. So to all who had been in any match with me during this period i am sorry. I really just wanted to try something new and unique.. I wanted to feel understood and have someone having my back. I had first not tried to earn your trust, and felt it was just required. I have learned that one of the strongest features of a leader, is not a mind that can talk. But actions that talk first, Being in the right place at the right time.. I learned that being toxic has many more shapes that are even known to most. I spent to much time feeding their lack of trust, that i began to lose trust in myself costing us all the match While being the pinpoint of my teams vision. I am working on communicating better with those who only wish to communicate. I never meant to get so Hateful, I just felt misunderstood and frustrated and went about it the wrong way. To all that have had ruined games because of me, Once more I'm sorry. I Hope your game play continues, and you thrive the way you need to, And i will practice my sportsmanship. -Sincerely Ryen H. AKA: Durty Rotten Kid.

6 Comments

Deep Terror Nami7/18/2015, 10:55:13 PM4 votes

See people? This is how the reform system is supposed to work. Take lessons from Ryen here and own up to your mistakes; everyone will be better off.

q4KgdaK1Fs7/18/2015, 10:59:34 PM1 votes

2 weeks later-

jungler feeds your lane

fucking noob yi gg omg

Am I Daddy7/18/2015, 11:17:30 PM1 votes

Same thing happened to me, not gonna lie about it either, I was incredibly toxic, first time ever banned on an account i've had for over two years pbe player and all, and I get a two week ban just for having an off day/game, I don't know seems a bit unfair but hey what can you do.

Jubbinaut7/18/2015, 11:20:41 PM1 votes

Introspection is a powerful tool. It's also extremely hard. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

High57/18/2015, 11:32:25 PM1 votes

I learned this through the leavebuster system. I'm still not perfect. I have accepted the game for what it is and my place in it though.

The only thing I can do is learn and get better.

Durty Rotten Kid7/19/2015, 11:51:23 AM1 votes

I just sincerely realized, i had been trying to become a leader, with out admitting to my actions and mistakes. How can anyone trust someone who Can't trust their team. I want to be a leader, But i've learned its more about proving with your actions first. If i just say i'm good at leading, Most people wont believe just out of basic context. I was so frustrated that all these people were FF at twenty, With out even realizing, We stood a heavy chance. But i had already died three times. I let their words get to me. A leader will do whats needed for the greater good. I can't just say im superior, I have to play the part. But superiority isn't really a leadership skill... Its being the only voice of reason that makes sense.. I can't just use my voice the Whole game, and bark orders.. Because with out the team i am no leader, Finally, after sitting back, Deeply thinking i realized, In reality there is never one leader. But the whole team must become One big champ. A maker of their own design. The ban, really taught me, I needed to sit back and think. "Is losing my only Release, worth my incompetence, Or will i learn from my mistakes." But seriously that yi was a noob gg, Lol just kidding. A quote i have always preached is that we mustn't ever look down on one another if we ever expect to win, unless that downward gaze, is looking at a hand helping them up. I found a great appreciation for the reform system, Thank you all for motivating words :) Sincerely Ryen H. Aka Durty Rotten Kid.