Why the NA server is broken

Since we cannot log in currently to the server, and have nothing better to do with our lives, here is a list of possible reasons our server is broken

1. A minor code error (unlikely)
2. Server staff got Ebola
3. Donald Trump deported the server staff
4. A rat started eating the mainframe potato server, resulting in downed services
5. Teemo
6. It was lag i swear
7. ISIS
8. The money overflowed from the RIOT vault and caused an electrical fire in the server room
9. Too much freedom in the American server room
10. Teemo
11. Too many dank memes being uploaded

COMMENT TO KEEP IT GOING ( start at 12 and list your own reason)