Help me get over my sadness.

My goats (5 of them) are being slaughtered today. These were very good goats, and I can't bear to witness them die. I keep on checking on what's happening, and whenever I check, I see that the butchers are still cutting one of them. My baby goat (the 6th one) is not witnessing this, thankfully. How do I get over this? I'm devastated, and I doubt I'll ever be the same. Please help me, I'm literally in tears right now. This is not some fiction, this is real. One is already dead. Help, please. I'm killing them so I can give the meat out to the poor, but I can't stand it. How can they even eat this meat knowing someone lost something to make them survive.