The fattest champion in league is more mobile than the swift scout

Mecha MaIphite·Aug 3, 2015·43 votes·4,222 views

77 Comments

redniwediSAug 3, 201533 votes

Fat contains a lot of energy, where as a hamster does not.

LaceUp23Aug 3, 20155 votes

Have you never seen a hamster spend hours running on a wheel?

ElJanitorFrankAug 3, 20159 votes

Nope. I've seen a hamster run 5 minutes on a wheel, though.

Rew711Aug 4, 20154 votes

I think someone looped the footage of a hamster and he watched it in amazement. Unless its real, then I must say, put that hamster in a marathon.

Ariel the CruelAug 4, 20151 votes

http://www.greenglancy.com/516/

ChaosThiefAug 4, 20153 votes

I have a hamster next to my computer. Occasionally when in a group call (at night, when he uses the wheel) he overcrowds my volume AND can be heard by the people in the car. And yes, he runs for hours at a time.

VekknaAug 4, 20156 votes

He has to keep your computer running to play league. Give the poor little fella a break.

ChaosThiefAug 4, 20152 votes

Nah, he doesn't power my computer.

...that would explain why my computer is so slow! GASP

Solari FortuneAug 4, 20156 votes

{quoted}

Fat contains a lot of energy, where as a hamster does not.

Yet Hamsters run our computers, if we get fat hamsters then our computers will run forever

KeevalroyAug 4, 20152 votes

Genius

QarekeoAug 4, 20152 votes

{quoted}

Fat contains a lot of energy, where as a hamster does not.

Ask the fat guy, he probably ate the hamster anyway.

AutoreactiveCD4Aug 4, 20152 votes

Can we start using Teemo's as a unit of energy now too?

Frost HellfireAug 4, 20152 votes

Yes! Now my dream will become true!

junglerboy16Aug 3, 201513 votes

Simple answer: Inertia.

Teemo has very small mass and therefor has to keep exerting energy to keep his momentum from decaying. Gragas with enough initial force can keep moving for much longer without reintroducing energy to keep himself moving.

Teemo moves with very small, fast steps, which is why he has very high speed. Gragas on the other hand Lurches around relying on swinging his massive weight to propel himself in short, explosive bursts, in between which he is quite slow and sluggish.

ElJanitorFrankAug 3, 20158 votes

"Garages"

http://i.imgur.com/Y2VRyRk.gif

junglerboy16Aug 4, 20152 votes

Damn you auto-correct, you've foiled my post again!

CubedJusticeAug 4, 20156 votes

http://assets.audiomack.com/dj-warface/98d2d1c05a82eabb6daa9171a67c203b.jpeg

FantasySniperAug 4, 20152 votes

http://animebot.everyboty.net/shared/post_media/images/full_sized/36631.jpg

OnanThaManAug 3, 20157 votes

Well what would he give up for the mob....oh wait trade-offs don't exist anymore apparently. Kalista LeeSin Nidalee (I understand counter play exists but mobility should have a price where as these three have little to none for thiers)

HighH1Aug 3, 20155 votes

Riven Yasuo

AnidanAug 4, 201516 votes

Kassadin

The price for his mobility? Everything. Literally everything he has available to him has suffered for his mobility. Including his mobility.

DelacareAug 4, 20152 votes

I'm with this guy.

ShinobisDemonAug 3, 20155 votes

The last thing we need is more Teemo buffs. Did you see the ones on PBE?

AnidanAug 3, 20156 votes

What's wrong the that little raccoon-looking little guy being viable? He's no worse than other champions when he is.

acepil0tAug 3, 201510 votes

Shrooms. My god the shrooms.

TheFancySkeletonAug 4, 20151 votes

They are nerfing the shrooms before allowing him to throw them.

Kuroi86Aug 3, 20155 votes

Just one of the most toxic kits in the entire game and the most unfun to play against. Wonderful concept, but in reality is just aggravating.

CasterGilgameshAug 3, 20152 votes

yet Garen with his silence is not?

Kuroi86Aug 4, 20158 votes

Garen's silence is highly telegraphed. Teemo just needs to be in range to hit you with an annoying dot.
His ult is easily one of the most frustrating and toxic aspects in the entire game. Don't get me wrong, I like playing Teemo now and then, but there is a reason Riot can't allow him to be strong.

Avios1Aug 4, 20152 votes

Hes strong enough to be my current main :D... and this patch will make him unstoppable.... MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
item 3751 Teemo

Kuroi86Aug 4, 20153 votes

summoner 14 ignites Teemo BURN!!!

TheFancySkeletonAug 4, 20152 votes

Ignites You Teemo YOU`RE COMING WITH ME!

EL HAMSTEROAug 4, 20151 votes

its true. somehow getting it with the dot feels much worse than getting hit with an autoattack with an equal amout of dmg.

KeevalroyAug 4, 20151 votes

You're kidding right? There are plenty of worse kits than his.

Kuroi86Aug 4, 20151 votes

In terms of a broken or gimped kit? Sure. In terms of toxic and unfun to play against, not really, Teemo is one of if not the worst offender.

KeevalroyAug 4, 20152 votes

Annie Blitzcrank Katarina MasterYi Poppy Shaco Tryndamere Warwick Yorick

A Miss FortuneAug 3, 20153 votes

Teemo can't be viable because of how toxic his kit is.

Teemo's kit is extremely toxic on top of being simple and extremely outdated, but because of how colossal his fan base is, they really can't give him significant changes without his fan base going insane. He's inarguably a toxic champion and Riot doesn't want him to be necessarily a good pick because of this. If they tried to make him viable by reworking him to a healthy state, his fan base would flip out because he's such a fan favorite. Basically they want him to be an okay pick but don't ever want him to ever be able to be a strong, competitive pick.

AnidanAug 4, 20152 votes

Besides maybe his ult, I truly cannot see how he's so toxic. I'm being completely honest. Is it because he's a lane bully, I guess? That's the only thing I can come up with. If that's the case, then why aren't lane bullies allowed to exist? It's not like he scales particularly well into the late game, so the laning phase is the best he has. Why can't we have actual lane bullies? As soon as one starts to do well he's called "oppressive" and "toxic" for being able to be good early.

I don't understand why he's toxic, perhaps ult aside, unless it's simply because he's a lane bully.

A Miss FortuneAug 4, 20153 votes

-Everything he has is point and click -His poison (Which is a huge part of his identity) is extremely annoying and on his ranged auto attacks -He has a point and click blind that also does a ton of damage for some reason -His shrooms make the game unfun and It's difficult to avoid them

He's toxic because his kit is so simple and easy to use and his laning bully is just stupid. Either you counter Teemo or you just don't and end the laning phase with 30 cs. His shrooms are ridiculous with it doing an AoE DoT and slow, on top of his point and click blind, with his auto attacks also applying poison.

Sure you can refer to Twitch having poison on his auto attacks, but at least they do next to no damage early game and Twitch's passive actually doesn't even do damage early game without stacks, it actually just lowers your health regen.

A large part of Teemo's toxicity is that he just blinds you and stands there, auto attacking you while being able to take almost nothing back unless you play someone who doesn't use auto attack which is pretty rare in top lane (It happens, but It's not that common). You literally can't do anything about it, you just have to sit through the blind. Remove Teemo's blind, he's the absolute worst champion in the game and one of the very few I personally would consider "unviable". There's not much Riot can do to actually balance Teemo out as a healthy champion, since number-wise he's fine I believe. Though his actual kit is extremely unhealthy and in all honesty they NEED to rework him but the fan base prevents it.

AnidanAug 4, 20152 votes

So, the main thing I'm seeing is "annoying."

Then I remember this is League and nothing deemed 'annoying' is allowed to exist :\

I guess I just fail to see how he's that bad. Maybe I've played DotA2 so much that Teemo just seems so minor? Teemo just doesn't seem that bad. His poison is basically just an AA steroid that allows him to conduct hit-and-runs. Doesn't seem too bad. His Q, the blind, is his only source of guaranteed damage beyond auto-attacks, since enemies can take steps to reduce the chances of stepping on a mushroom in an engagement. His only other ability is a movement speed steroid.

I guess I just really don't understand what the big deal is with Teemo. He's annoying for the laning phase, and then you outscale him if he can't push that advantage early. He seems like an ordinary early game lane bully champion to me.

LeetriAug 4, 20151 votes

Stepping on a random shroom that deals half your total HP in damage (if you're a squishy) is not that fun. You simply can't use Sweeper's or put down a Pink ward every time you try to leave your minion wave, so you WILL step on them eventually. And then it's just time to recall or you know you will step on another one and die. In engagements his ult does barely anything, it's that he can get kills while AFK in base because you had the audacity to enter your own jungle.

Avios1Aug 4, 20151 votes

Well, thing is, even though he is quite annoying, have you seen a teemo recently? I rarely see another teemo in any game I play, unless it is myself. and there are rarely good teemos out there, they place shrooms too close to walls, they don't take advantage of their extreme poke and max mana early on, and they don't even blind the correct people or kite. in my opinion, no one can really maximize on teemo's kit except for a few mains, such as myself and a few others. you should also be glad that Teemo Mains aren't abundant right now, and that teemo isn't a popular pick.

item 3751 Teemo

TheFancySkeletonAug 4, 20151 votes

Teemo for life, buddy.

air tigerAug 4, 20152 votes

If Teemo's shrooms are doing 1/2 your max health, then one or more things is wrong.

Either A - You're down severely in levels/farm. Or B - You didn't buy MR because your damages

With the problems out in the open, the solutions should be apparent.

VekknaAug 4, 20151 votes

{quoted}

because you had the audacity to enter your own jungle.

I just laughed so hard at this. A few games ago I was relentlessly splitpushing top lane and prepping enemy's blue jungle for Baron. Every entrance, intersection, and a brush was shroomed. When we started Baron, their team rushed through jungle. 3 of the 5 died before reaching river, and the other two were finished off by Janna.

Audacity is the right word.

Ariel the CruelAug 4, 20151 votes

Against anyone who doesn't use an oracle's elixir (or any vision item): His ult. Against anyone who uses AA's: his dart. Against anyone who doesn't build a lot of MR: his DoT.

Come to think of it. There's a very big category that capitalizes on all 3 of those. Vayne

Jokes aside though. It's the ult. F his shrooms.

VekknaAug 4, 20151 votes

You're right about Vayne. Teemo ADC is basically "farm Vayne lane."

Bottom LanerAug 4, 20151 votes

You could argue a similar case for Annie. GG

A Miss FortuneAug 4, 20152 votes

Are you implying Annie isn't toxic lol

jmaishereAug 5, 20151 votes

[{quoted}](name=A Miss Fortune,realm=NA,application-id=cIfEodbz,discussion-id=7AsMmeec,comment-id=000000000002,timestamp=2015-08-03T23:35:23.209+0000)

Teemo can't be viable because of how toxic his kit is.

Teemo's kit is extremely toxic on top of being simple and extremely outdated, but because of how colossal his fan base is, they really can't give him significant changes without his fan base going insane. He's inarguably a toxic champion and Riot doesn't want him to be necessarily a good pick because of this. If they tried to make him viable by reworking him to a healthy state, his fan base would flip out because he's such a fan favorite. Basically they want him to be an okay pick but don't ever want him to ever be able to be a strong, competitive pick.

except that's exactly what they did just now with Morde, and Teemo's damage just got nerfed hard, the R duration is reduced by half.