Lets play a game where we make abilities sound horrendously OP by excluding details.
The only rule is that everything you say HAS to be true, however creative language is allowed and expected.
Ex: 
has a hard scaling heal that deals 10% max health true damage and heals a ton on a 2 second cooldown.
has one of the highest damage ults in the game and deals bonus damage the stronger you are!
is Draven! So OP!
gets 2 
's that deal heat-seeking missile damage to 3 enemies on a 0.5 second cooldown with no mana cost.
gets a global, AoE, 3.5 second stun.
CAN NOT DIE.
doesn't take damage from towers.
can heal allies anywhere on the map.
ignores unit collision and stuns with every autoattack.
deals 40% of the targets health in true damage and silences them for 1 minute. 1 second cooldown.
this guy literally earns more gold than everyone else just by cs'ing like he's supposed to. What the actual F
gets a heavy silence and hard ms boost which deals bonus ad, is manaless and can deal potential true damage.
gets a true damage ult that deals 1000 (+ 70% AP) damage and can be on a cooldown of 24 seconds.
1000 true damage on a 5.4 second cooldown.
Pulls people in, knocks em up, then silences them. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Blaze: Wrecks 8% of the enemy's max health just because you landed a skill shot. Good work bro.
Ultimate. Creates a massive fissure of ice through solid dirt ground, knocking everyone up and slowing anyone who walks over the fissure.
...Okay, it probably sounded better in my head. What do you think?
kills all enemies on the map whenever you please.
Has a slow, that can be applied forever with no cost!
30% armor and MR! Just because!
Can turn into a dragon!
CC that makes people walk out of position!
Global MS boost-- Oh wait....
Q can deal % health of an enemy as damage on a 3 sec cooldown and can heal half his health with his ulti. Neither of these abilities have to scale. On top of that, his passive is % Health regen. He gets out of disables with his W, and his E increases his damage output by a large amount. This Doc gives himself buffs.
Q does a dickfuck of damage and has a percentage health heal per champ hit and- oh wait.
Q, Twin Bite, Is an animation canceling ability allowing Shyvana to chain up to three attacks in quick succession. Proper itemization allows Shyvana to quickly deal 7.5 times auto attack damage in less than a second. This ability also has a four second cooldown without cooldown reduction, and further more cools down 0.5 seconds faster with each auto attack strike.
Q: Seismic Shard
Throws a homing shard that cannot be dodged towards an enemy champion, dealing a chunk of burst damage and stealing their movement speed, making you go faster while they receive a slow for the same amount.
W: Brutal Strikes
Empowers Malphite's auto-attacks, making him deal massive bonus damage and AOE splash damage to units near his target.
E: Ground Slam
Malphite slams the ground, leaving the symbol of the Rito Gods where he hit. Creates a shockwave that echoes out, dealing splash damage to nearby units. This ability's damage scales with armour, meaning that the tankier Malphite is, the more damage he does.
R: Unstoppable Force
Expels volcanic gases out of Malphite's arse to propel him a large distance in an unstoppable massively OP AOE shouldercharge. Once Malphite arrives at his target location, all enemies in the area are dealt massive damage and hit with one of the longest knock-ups in the game. Has great synergy with Yasuo, who can blink to a team that are all airborne, dealing massive damage to each one of them at the same time and rendering them unable to move or attack. GG.
W eats a champion, rendering them unable to attack or move on their own. Tahm, however, can move around with the champion in his mouth, carrying them wherever he pleases. While this is happening, the enemy inside him takes massive % max health damage that scales with Tahm's damage. Alternatively, Tahm can eat an enemy minion or a jungle monster. While the minion or monster is inside Tahm, they take scaling % max health damage. Tahm can spit the minion out over a long range, dealing a chunk of scaling AOE burst damage to all units around the minion/monster's point of impact. The minion/monster also takes extra burst damage while it is being spat out. As another alternative, Tahm can store an allied champion in his mouth. While they are stored, they take no damage and can't be targeted. Tahm can then spit the champion far enough to get them over a wall and to safety. Also, while Tahm has an ally in his mouth, he gains movement speed.
Passive: free tank stats for a marksman. This man becomes more invulnerable the longer he is in combat.
has an automatic on hit steroid that deals a minimum of 50% of her attack damage
can comeback to life whenever they die.
Vayne, silver bolt now stacks 5+ Permanent ad every time it procs, if silver bolt kills an enemy it marks them for silver spree which deals +10% max health as true damage for the rest of the game.
got 2:
