The point of this game is just to post something witty you'd use shop items for IRL, for example I'd use Phantom Dancer on myself and my car to go through traffic.
Just a minor point, writing that you'd use an item to kill annoying people is not an option since even a Doran's blade would be good for that.
This would make one bad-ass backscratcher.
never mind shop items, what about summoner spells?
I'd never have to carry an umbrella!
goodbye, cars!
so long, creepy spiders in the basement!
sayonara, showers and massive water/gas bills!
adios, being tired!
good riddance, thirst!
who needs ovens?
{{summoner:2}} security cameras? pfft.
win every soccer game!
catch all the crooks!
{{summoner:10}} sleep is for the weak.
no need to waste my camera's battery!
who even needs a car?
oh wait I already have one of those, don't need to buy one.
because...well. Immortality.
Oh and I forgot these:
Because passive gold income is never a bad thing.
For going jogging. I run faster with a knife. Everyone runs faster with a knife.
I wonder what these would taste like.
I'm a fan of this.
hmmmmmm, I'd have to go with Twin Shadows
A bit of movespeed and I can find my roommate wherever he's hiding and slacking off and get him to do the bloody dishes. :P
Zhonya's Hourglass would be fun. YOU THINK THAT'S CLASSY?! THIS IS CLASSY! activates
I'd always win EVERY MARATHON IN THE WORLD :D. I'd be unstoppable >:D.
Because I need to train my archery skills.
I want to get stronger every minute.
If a person hits me, they will get it even if I don't hit them back.
Because I can't run very fast.
What is this "showering" you speak of?
'Better than coffee.'
Because well, there would always be a lasting impression i give to people, especially as im looking for a job and then the interviewers will remember me longer.
: Because the laws of life and death should really be called the optional suggestions of life and death.
just walk into a room and melt EVERYONE
Punching things....with ICE!
I see you!
A drink every time i go to Walmart!
No more sickness being tried or being fat,fatness is a debuff!
GOTTA GO FAST!
Heals!
Faster!
of course....
well....
get all the chicks lol
use this to get drunk
scaer the crap oy of the kids on halloween with this
ID ALWAYS SEE 
AND NEVER EVERGET HIGH AGAIN
wear this to all my battles
protect all the helpless people with my mighty shield
- New effect: Transforms owner into aragorn.
- so you can jump off a building/ ignore a car crash
- Ultimate pocketknife
Instead of saying OOOH BUUURN1, I'll just put this on each time it is necessary.
For when I feel like being Bear Grylls.
well playing a team sport in real life and you want to win
power your own device with this a shocking item to have
Dies NOT TODAY!!!
There goes most of my water bills.
Just... just go away cicadas... 
HIT ALL THE BULLIES!!!
Have anyone mentioned 
? Being able to run in crowded places is sometimes better than simply running faster (with ). I don't think there are so many 
or 
.
or... Get , kill spiders, profit. Even better with someone standing nearby with . Imagine if all the voidlings cockroaches you poison are counted as your kills!
If I had this I would definitely get into woodcutting. This hatchet is just so... wicked.
Can't touch this
maybe ...you can literaly walk trough people and walls because..well..inmortality hurt? naah not todaay :D
Scary ass halloween decoration
Now I can jump off cliffs every 5 minutes
Cutting food is super easy now, especially armored ones
Protection from child bites and scratches
Part of Wolverine costume
Mounted Trophy
Walk in a crowded airport watch everyone try to carry heavy bags
Counteracts the effects of aging; I get stronger as I get older.
