The point of this game is just to post something witty you'd use shop items for IRL, for example I'd use Phantom Dancer on myself and my car to go through traffic.
Just a minor point, writing that you'd use an item to kill annoying people is not an option since even a Doran's blade would be good for that.
HavinAGiggle13 votes
This would make one bad-ass backscratcher.
PenguinSebs2 votesOk this might be my favorite so far, made me giggle uncontrallably.
Rubitonabuilding8 votesnever mind shop items, what about summoner spells?
I'd never have to carry an umbrella!
goodbye, cars!
so long, creepy spiders in the basement!
sayonara, showers and massive water/gas bills!
adios, being tired!
good riddance, thirst!
who needs ovens?
{{summoner:2}} security cameras? pfft.
win every soccer game!
catch all the crooks!
{{summoner:10}} sleep is for the weak.
no need to waste my camera's battery!
PenguinSebs3 votesYo got me with the spider smiting, someone give this man a prize!
Rubitonabuilding3 votesxD thanks
Rubitonabuilding7 votes
who even needs a car?
oh wait I already have one of those, don't need to buy one.
because...well. Immortality.
Oh and I forgot these:
Because passive gold income is never a bad thing.
PenguinSebs2 votesLoool good one on the NLR
RiotRiotNoyz7 votes
For going jogging. I run faster with a knife. Everyone runs faster with a knife.
HavinAGiggle7 votesAlthough zephyr would get a new aura because everyone around you would probably start running fast as well.
Isaacqwerty4 votesYou'll run 50% faster with FIVE knives (and dont forget your shoes, ouch!) Also, don't trip.
Sir ArmaMalum5 votesI'm a fan of this.
hmmmmmm, I'd have to go with Twin Shadows
A bit of movespeed and I can find my roommate wherever he's hiding and slacking off and get him to do the bloody dishes. :P
RottedApples5 votes
I wonder what these would taste like.
JackYAqua4 votes
'Better than coffee.'
JsKingBoo4 votesZhonya's Hourglass would be fun. YOU THINK THAT'S CLASSY?! THIS IS CLASSY! activates
Rubitonabuilding7 votesgolden.
Hi Im Dreg4 votes
I'd always win EVERY MARATHON IN THE WORLD :D. I'd be unstoppable >:D.
Farinel4 votes
Because I need to train my archery skills.
I want to get stronger every minute.
If a person hits me, they will get it even if I don't hit them back.
Because I can't run very fast.
What is this "showering" you speak of?
Xenohaz3 votes
: Because the laws of life and death should really be called the optional suggestions of life and death.
gasmask8663 votes
just walk into a room and melt EVERYONE
E0N3 votes
Punching things....with ICE!
I see you!
A drink every time i go to Walmart!
No more sickness being tried or being fat,fatness is a debuff!
GOTTA GO FAST!
Heals!
Faster!
of course....
well....
Gökù3 votes
get all the chicks lol
use this to get drunk
scaer the crap oy of the kids on halloween with this
ID ALWAYS SEE 
AND NEVER EVERGET HIGH AGAIN
wear this to all my battles
protect all the helpless people with my mighty shield
Killer2253 votes
Because well, there would always be a lasting impression i give to people, especially as im looking for a job and then the interviewers will remember me longer.
Worgslarg3 votes
- New effect: Transforms owner into aragorn.
- so you can jump off a building/ ignore a car crash
- Ultimate pocketknife
PenguinSebs3 votes Instead of saying OOOH BUUURN1, I'll just put this on each time it is necessary.
WinterMage423 votes
For when I feel like being Bear Grylls.
sync23 votes
well playing a team sport in real life and you want to win
power your own device with this a shocking item to have
ThunderstruckHR2 votesDies NOT TODAY!!!
There goes most of my water bills.
Just... just go away cicadas... 
HIT ALL THE BULLIES!!!
watbesh2 votesHave anyone mentioned 
? Being able to run in crowded places is sometimes better than simply running faster (with ). I don't think there are so many 
or 
.
or... Get , kill spiders, profit. Even better with someone standing nearby with . Imagine if all the voidlings cockroaches you poison are counted as your kills!
Proving Facts2 votes
If I had this I would definitely get into woodcutting. This hatchet is just so... wicked.
Can't touch this
ShinigamiSaeko472 votesmaybe ...you can literaly walk trough people and walls because..well..inmortality hurt? naah not todaay :D
Phozforus1 votes
Scary ass halloween decoration
Now I can jump off cliffs every 5 minutes
Cutting food is super easy now, especially armored ones
Protection from child bites and scratches
Part of Wolverine costume
Mounted Trophy
Walk in a crowded airport watch everyone try to carry heavy bags
MrBuffington1 votes Counteracts the effects of aging; I get stronger as I get older.
Better?
why not win the 100 m dash though?