High Elo: Exposed

In my years perusing these boards, I have seen many high elo players complain about the rest of us. Whether it be our skill level, our desire to aggro all game instead of last hitting, our lack of macro, our lack of micro, or our general existence.

High elo is represented very well on this board, and they often tell us that the game should be balanced around them, not us. Well I am about to expose their secret strat so that you guys won't fall for it.

#High Elo claims debunked

1. We play a completely different game than you.

Nope, we see your screenshots. We can clearly see that it is League of Legends. DEBUNKED

Additional proof, a video showing the clown fiesta of high elo:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vaSxlhnWT_4

(As we all know NB3 is high elo)

2. You guys need to get good at the game.

Excuse me. Can any of you guys get a Brand pentakill becuase the enemy team stood there and let you proc all your explosion things? No? Get rekt scrub.

How about dive a Leona under tower and kill her? As Yasuo? Get on our level.

DEBUNKED

#High Elos secret strat

You see, the goal of high elo is to take over the direction of the game from papa rito, and will do whatever it takes.

Well, we can turn them back if we use their secret against them. Ever notice how even though high elo thinks they are so good, they still permaban? That's becuase they never learned how to fight these champs. These champs are their weakness.

If we played these champs to high elo, the previous high elo won't stand a chance against us. We would become the new high elo, and by balancing the game around us, we balance for low elo like it should be. Never mind that we would be high elo at the time of balancing, as high elo is basically low elo with more time in the oven.

Since high elo is represented so well on the boards, we are able to deduce high elos weaknesses based on who they permaban.

Rubick: bans anything FotM he didn't get first. Seems to have a weakness (and tragedy) revolving around Lulu. Recently has started to ban Rubick so he can get them all at once.

Malicious Metal: bans champs that encourage rust. E.g. Nami, Lissandra, Anivia, and E. Lux.

Big Lincoln: bans every mage at once. How you may ask? He's Big Lincoln. He has a big mouse and a big cursor. He searches for all mages in thr banning phase, then uses his large cursor to click them all at once, then hits ban.

Dominick Draconian Demoted Diamond Daredevil Dumbledore Destine: bans everything that is draconian. Therefore champs like Yasuo, Lee Sin, Garen, and Illaoii.

With this knowledge I have deduced the perfect champ to spearhead our campaign.

Nami.

Every single high elo has some kind of weakness to her, and the second Rito buffs her she will be FotM.

We will ride this fish to victory. And since she is a saltwater fish we will thrive off of the tears of the former high elo. We will become the new high elo to dictate game balance around our elo, a new generation that will have different permabans and will therefore shape the meta.

Begun, the ELO Wars have.