How to beat Darius (A guide)
(Yes, I’m copying Mellendoneus, I have no shame)
“How to beat Darius”
So, you want to know how to beat Darius? Well you came to the right post, because I’m going to show you how to cut this very difficult boss down to size. Despite what HE would have you believe, Darius is in fact one of the clumsiest and silliest goofs that the League has EVER seen. You see, Darius isn’t a general. He’s actually the best clown in Noxus, sure to make anyone laugh. But he also has a great mind when he’s not clowning around.
- That Axe he’s wielding? It’s just a Squeak-Hammer he’s painted to make it look menacing. (Noxians think frightening stuff is very funny) When he looks like he’s winding up to swing, he’s actually just trying to get an itch on his back. However, he ends up doing a 360-degree turn as he constantly can’t reach that ONE portion of his back. As we all know, Squeak-Hammers are completely harmless, so you can stand on the OUTSIDE portion as he spins around like an imbecile and be completely safe. The reason he heals? It’s because the itch went away.
- Darius might start laughing and hold his arm out stiffly, and then spin around and try to make a fancy pose. The stiffness is because he got a bunch of Snap-Glow sticks that he wrapped around that arm and he’s trying to get them to turn on. He’s laughing because he’s actually thinking of a really funny joke so he's turning to run home and write it down before he forgets; but he gets his legs caught up and he smacks the nearest innocent bystander with his Squeak-Hammer as he does.
- Darius might try to swing out his Squeak-Hammer in a really weird way that doesn’t even hit you with one of the edges; it actually draws you in because of how harmless it is. He’s done with his clown-routine and wants to discuss some very interesting subjects when he does this. Feel free to let him draw you in for some very interesting and philosophical discussions. It even makes you lower your guard against him because of how endearing it all appears to be.
- Darius might leap up into the air without warning and come down very quickly, spilling red goo all over the place. It’s because he smacked his Squeak-Hammer on the ground and the recoil drove him up into the air. He of course, comes down very quickly because of all that armor he’s wearing (His #1 rated clown costume in Noxus), and the red goo is because he crushed and broke the Snap-Glow sticks he had wrapped around his arm and spilled all the stuff inside them.
- Darius also makes these red tear-shaped items float around you sometimes. It’s drops from the cracked Snap-Glow sticks and they’re completely harmless. Let him stack them on you and they result in an indicator showing you’ve won a free Squeak-Hammer! He also mutters some gibberish about power or strength, but he’s referring to the life-time of the Snap-Glows sticks more than anything else.
- When he gives you your free Squeak-Hammer above your head, it makes it seem as though he’s gotten stronger, but that really isn’t the case; he’s just successfully made you laugh and feels very happy because of it.
Follow these instructions to the letter, and you’ll have Darius gone in no time. This is because he will feel vindicated in knowing he made you happy, and will leave you in peace.
